Stutter
by lesrewis
Summary: Eliisa placed Alistair on the throne but quickly announced she would rule by his side. Whether it was out of guilt, loyalty to her best friend, or the political implications of the two most powerful houses joining together, she doesn't quite know. Despite this, they have a happy, healthy, and caring marriage. Slow Burn fic of the political marriage of Cousland and Alistair.
1. Hero of Ferelden

Compared to this, slaying the Archdemon was easy.

It's almost been a month since the Blight had officially ended. Eliisa stood by her brother, Fergus, with a sad smile on her face. Alistair was being crowned king, the golden was circle placed on his head and he turned to greet the crowd. She, with the rest of the court, knelt before him, bowing their heads in reverence. Although, she was more focused on watching Fergus to make sure he was actually able to do this stand, kneel, bow, whatever the king wanted, ceremony. At least this wasn't nearly as extravagant as Cailan's coronation, thank the Maker.

"He's talking about you," Fergus whispered to her in the midst of the king's speech. Eliisa gave him a side glance before gathering her skirts to walk to the steps of the throne room.

"May I present my betrothed, who will soon be your queen, the Lady Eliisa Cousland" she placed her hand into Alistair's extended one. Her stomach flipped nervously as he brought it up his lips and kissed her knuckles.

 _He learned court manners quickly_

Giving him a nervous smile and a nod, they waited momentarily for the crowd to calm their cheering. She listened to him talk about her accomplishments, offering a boon, and an engagement present. Her stomach flipped again.

She knew she was supposed to say something noble, something honorable. Like 'I only wish to serve the crown,' years of tutoring and experience meant to be gracious and on your best behavior in front of royalty. That changes when the king happens to be your best friend, right?

"I ask only that which is my family's by right. Our lands and titles restored and those who were involved with the" she faltered, it's been a year but it still sticks to the back to her throat. They're in court, there are people around, don't give in to the spiral, don't show anger, and don't give details. She looked up at Alistair when he rubbed his thumb over her hand, a small comfort. She exhaled "…the injustice that my house has seen, be brought to justice." How many times did she just say 'justice?' She was never good at speeches, she could practically hear father's snicker 'that's my Pup' and mother chastising him.

"And it will be done, the Terynir of Highever will return to House Cousland and those who wronged your house will see the King's Justice," when did he get better at speeches than her? Relief washed over her and smiled at up him when he squeezed her hand. He moved to stand in front of her and gave the rest of his speech. Eliisa, admittedly, was not paying much attention to it. She focused on his back. He was no longer in armor she had become use to seeing him in. He wore a fine jerkin of deep red and gold and dark brown leather breeches, his father's sword at his hip. She was thankful he hadn't followed the Theirin tradition of a purple cloak and had opted for a fur lined black one. Nothing screams Ferelden like leather and fur.

Maker help her, he seemed to have slid into his new role so easily. Eamon's soft cough and Alistair's amused gaze brought her back. Something about what will she be doing? Her plans? Fergus' snicker was so similar to father's.

"Oh, ah, I will remain here, your majesty," she gave a teasing smirk "I believe you'll need my help."

 _Liar, you just don't want to go back with Fergus._

"Well, I didn't want to come out and say it…but I'm relieved you'll be nearby," he returned her smirk and a grin. "Ah! There's a group of Ferelden citizens waiting outside to get a look at their hero," _Maker, no_ "I suggest you make a brief appearance before they storm the gate," she tried to return his chuckle, her throat too dry "Just tell the guard at the door when you're ready" another smile and the rest of the court started to disperse.

She took a breath looked around the room. Alistair talking to Eamon, her companions talking to nobles and the rabble, Fergus reassuring everyone who passed him by that he was, in fact, not dying at the moment. She pulled at her hair, the maiden braids were too tight. She had become accustomed to the messy bun worn while on her travels.

 _At least the handmaidens didn't try to style it in the double coiled buns, talk about adding insult to injury._ She thought of Anora briefly before walking up to Alistair's side and linking her arm with his.

 _Affection. Love. Remind everyone this isn't out of politics, or guilt. Love. Love._

"My King," Eliisa smiled and tried her best not to drag her friend away from the man who put them both in this position. Of course, she didn't _have_ to offer herself as Queen, she _could_ have kept Anora as queen, she could have let him rule _alone_ , or _with_ Anora. She couldn't decide which fate was worse for her dear friend.

 _No, I'm the one who put the crown on his head, despite him being unsure. I owe my friend this, at least he will not suffer on the throne alone._ She stood close to him, her hand still on his arm.

"So," she was brought out of her thoughts "we made it," she wanted to hug him. They _had_ made it. It was an awful, painful year, she's glad she was able to turn in her armor for a dress, if only for a time. "I'm impressed, aren't you?" he pulled her hand from his arm and held it. The green and blue of her sleeves contrasted with his red and gold his own. "I was so scared I might…lose you but…here you are…And here I am. Not bad, right?"

 _Maker bless him_ , she nodded and smiled. It shouldn't have been possible, they shouldn't be both here, but they were. She wondered if she'd ever see Morrigan again.

"I bet it has something to do with that night, with uh, with Morrigan," she frowned when he looked away from her "Why you're still here, I'm not that dumb-"

"Alistair," she stopped him and squeezed his hand

 _Affection. Love._

"I-I never thought you were," closing her eyes she placed her forehead against his own, "don't speak of yourself in that manner," she huffed a chuckle at his noncommittal grunt

"The rest of the Grey Warden's haven't arrived yet from Orlais, but they've already sent…questions" she raised a brow "What should I tell them?" she sighed.

 _I wondered when how long it would take for people to wonder why I am not dead._

She stood there, against him, listening to him breathing. She wanted to say she didn't know, that, of course, would never suffice. She couldn't put Alistair on the spot like that, either, not with the warden's. Maker knows it'll happen to him all the time as king.

Taking his other hand in hers she opened her eyes and stared at their feet

"You _could_ tell them they were wrong," she tried to joke, although she was sure neither of them found it funny. She looked at up at him when he placed his hands on the sides on her shoulders.

"Ah yes, all you need is a maleficar willing to have your demon baby. Who knew?" Eliisa pursed her lips as he shrugged his shoulders, "No, I suppose I'll just keep that to myself. I can shrug and look stupid. It's a talent" she rolled her eyes and shook her head. He grinned at her again and placed a soft kiss on her forehead, causing her throat going dry again.

 _That's new_

"Speaking of Morrigan, do you know where she went?" she felt a chill as he pulled away, why is it so cold in the throne room? "She vanished right after the battle. No goodbyes or anything."

"Oh? Personally offended are we?" she teased him and he made a disgusted noise "I don't know where she went," She paused, thinking "and I'm not sure whether I want to find her or not"

"Good riddance I say," she sighed at him but gave a tired smile "At any rate, these formal affairs drive me insane, I can't wait to be ah…" she raised her eyebrow at him when he stopped suddenly

"Yes?"

"Ah, hmm, I mean, I can't wait to get out of here, you know, alone, perhaps you can I could…talk…before well…the wedding plans," this time Eliisa made the disgusted noise

"Well if it's anything like the last royal wedding, it'll be extravagant" she placed her hands on her hips, as she did when she was thinking about something difficult. She looked around and noticed people starting to look at them, whispering

"Are they talking about the wedding?"

"Look at how easily they talk to one another,"

"Falling in love amidst all the fighting and death, so romantic"

 _Romantic, huh? That's what they're calling us? Good. Play your part Lady Cousland._

"In any case," she continued as he fixed his coat nervously "yes, of course we can talk later. Besides, I'm sticking around remember," she stomach turned at the thought of Highever "It's not like you'll miss me" she tried a grin for him. It seemed to have worked because he relaxed a little

"What are you talking about, 'Lis? I miss you every moment you aren't in my direct line of sight," she raised a brow and side stepped, causing him to laugh. She laughed with him, it felt good "See, look at that missing you already" he pulled her back over. She quirked her eyebrows worriedly when his grin faded

"What's wrong?"

"It's nothing, just…I know I asked you before but, are you sure?"

"Sure of?"

"Marrying me" she blinked at him

"Alistair," she thought of teasing him, joking to make the situation lighter. That's what they did right? Ignore the problem by joking it away? He just looked so unsure and perhaps a bit afraid. "I'm not just going to suddenly change my mind on this, I promised you I would stick by you, not matter what" she gave his arm a squeeze "You're stuck with me," whether for his own benefit or hers, he looked relieved.

 _Please don't resent me for this decision Alistair_

"Well I can certainly think of worse fates than being married to a beautiful woman," he grinned, taking her hand and kissing it like before.

"Beautiful, huh?"

"Of course you are, and you know it" she twitched her nose, slightly embarrassed by his admission "You're ravishing, resourceful, and all those other things you'd probably hurt me for not saying." He grinned at her and smiled up at him.

"I wouldn't hurt you, Alistair," she adjusted his crown that had become slightly askew and smiled "there"

"And for that, my dead lady, I am grateful" she watched him kiss her hand a final time "I'll let you get to your adoring public. They want to see the hero of Ferelden, and who am I to keep them waiting" she bowed her head and curtsied. She tried to keep her ladylike composure when he made a face at her, one like when you take a swallow of milk and its gone sour. Something about 'I know were in public but' and 'even you? The 'my king' is enough don't you think', she watched him grumble his way back to Eamon who gave her a _look_ before turning back to Alistair.

 _How much longer am I to deal with that man?_

She prayed her face didn't give away her thoughts. She had argued until her voice was hoarse with Eamon, specifically about Alistair, many times. Probably too many. Alistair once told her that he was surprised her temper didn't cause "the Archdemon to take one good look, and decide it wasn't worth it." She glared and rambled in response, probably proving his point.

 _Ass_ she thought, affectionately, of course

It was different with Eamon, though. Eliisa was taught politics, about nobles, manipulation and how not to be manipulated. Alistair was not, and she would not let Eamon use him any way he wanted. In the end, he got what he wanted though didn't he? Alistair wore the crown and Eamon is now his chancellor, despite her…suggestions, that he wasn't needed. The only joy she received from this arrangement was the _look_ he gave her when she announced she would be Alistair's queen.

That sounded harsh, she quickly reprimanded herself. Alistair was a good, sweet man, who actually cared about _her_ not her claim. She should be much more grateful she gets to marry her best friend, instead of some man who only wants to be a Cousland and wants her lands. Like all the suitors she had met before the Blight.

Eliisa made her way down to Fergus, smiling thankfully at many of the noble's congratulations and comments on her, to her, above her, it was all just elegant ass kissing. Fereldan's liked to sneer at the Orlesian's for their Game, but really, she wasn't sure how this was any different. Of course, she had only visited Orlais a few times, and never engaged in their politics.

"You look positively ecstatic, dear sister," she rolled her eyes at her brother's quip but ignored him

"Do you need to sit down, maybe need some water?" she motioned for a random servant

"Not you too," she chuckled at his whine "I'm alright, nothing I can't handle, the only thing that hurts is knowing that's happened in the past year and knowing I was stuck, injured in some hut."

"Fergus, that wasn't your fault" she began "we all barely made it. Maker's breath, Al- King Alistair" she corrected herself quickly "and I nearly died trying to light the beacon. There's no shame in being injured and…" her throat closed "there…there was nothing you could have done…for Highever"

"I know. I know, I just wish I had been there when you killed Howe," she nodded in understanding. They were silent for a moment and she wasn't in the mood to break the silence "You should keep it. The sword, I mean. You were the one who used it to battle darkspawn and Maker knows what else"

"No" she stated firmly "It is a Cousland heirloom, and the Cousland heir, the heir of Highever, should be the one to hold it," She carried the sword throughout the Blight. It had sung as she cut down darkspawn, it was practically nostalgic when she fought the werewolves, it was sated when it was covered in Rendon Howe's blood.

However, she had come to love a new blade. Sten had found this metal, "star metal" if she remembered correctly, and had _Mikhael Dryden craft a sword for her. "Starfang" it was called and it was the blade she used to drive into the Archdemon's skull. The significance of Sten giving her such a gift was not beyond her. It was still bittersweet to give up the Cousland sword._

 _"_ _And soon, it will Eliisa Theirin née Cousland, not Eliisa Cousland" Fergus hummed thoughtfully._

"Mother would be nagging us to death at the moment though, yeah?" she smiled when he changed the subject

"Just you Fergus, I'm betrothed to the king, I think she would lay off me for a while, don't you think?"

"Pfft, no." she laughed out loud "You know she would be lecturing you on how you should be up there, with him, right now,"

"Probably," sighing she watched nobles come forward to give their condolences and greetings to the Teryn "We'll talk later Fergus," he nodded and kissed her cheek

"I'm proud of you Eliisa, everyone would have been so proud of you," swallowing the lump in her throat she turned and left him, before the tears could fully form.

She walked towards her companions, each giving her congratulations and words of joy. She placed a kiss on Oghren's forehead after he joked about the after party, leaving her red lip stain print on him. Wynne talked of how she would return to the Circle, with Shale, for a brief time and eyed her and then back to Alistair. Eliisa's lips twitched nervously, Wynne was fond of Alistair. No doubt she was worried about Eliisa's decision to throw him into politics and then her so elegantly making herself queen. Sten was standing stoically next to Lady, her mabari war hound. She expressed her gratitude when he told her he wouldn't look for her on the battlefield.

 _One thing at a time_

Leliana hugged her tightly saying how beautiful she looked, however asking if Fereldan's had to add fur to _everything._

"You lose citizenship if you don't have one piece of leather or fur on your clothing" she teased her friend

"I know you are teasing me, but I honestly think some actually do believe that," Leliana scrunched her nose and held Eliisa's hands, after straightening her bell sleeves "You look marvelous, such a wonderful shade of blue under a green surcoat, the neckline on your collarbone, just enough to show your amulet," Eliisa raised her hand to the piece of jewelry, it was what her father, or the image of her father, had given her during her test of faith in the Frostbacks. "Now if only it had some sort of pattern on it, instead of fur on the sleeves," Leliana muttered the last part under her breath.

After finding out her plans to return to Orlais, returning for Eliisa's wedding of course, she moved on to Zevran, who admitted he had nowhere to go. She offered to let him stay here, joking about needing an assassin or maybe needing protection from an assassin. He accepted graciously, kissing her hand.

 _Alistair will be thrilled to find out about this_

She eyed a strange dog in the back corner of the throne room, away from everyone else. She blinked _It couldn't be, could it?_ The hound paid her no mind, and didn't respond when she walked up to it.

The doors of the palace stood before her, she could feel the court staring holes into her back. Everyone had quieted down to barely a whisper and she swore she could hear everyone's heartbeat in the room. She took a deep breath, fearful of the crowd that was waiting. She may have been raised to take this on, that didn't mean she was ever confident enough for it. She held her head high.

 _You're the daughter of Bryce and Eleanor Cousland, the Solider and the Seawolf, you're the hero of Ferelden, you're the soon to be queen, you battled Darkspawn and demons, no crowd can overcome you._

Eliisa pushed the doors open.


	2. King of Ferelden

_How exactly did I get into this mess?_ Alistair groaned as his Antivian friend went on and on about how happy he was. Because he was staying here. In Denerim. Maker, kings could have as much wine as they pleased right?

"Don't look so dour Alistair, as I said before, kings will have use of assassins," Zevran smirked at him

"Do you have to say that so loudly? Are assassins _supposed_ to announce their presence to everyone?" Alistair drawled out

"Fair point. The last job I did where I announced who I was, didn't really work out," he got that gleam in his eye, the one that made Alistair irritable. Zevran of course, knew this. The assassin looked in a different direction "I suppose if you really look at it, I guess it did work out, for me at least. Not so much my companions" Alistair followed his line of sight to see he was looking at his bride-to-be.

"Yes," he tried, he really did, not to roll his eyes "how lucky for you,"

"Indeed, it was our dear Eliisa's idea to have me stay here" Alistair groaned again

 _Of course it was_

As if on cue she turned her head to look at them, raising a brow as Zevran waved at her. She gave a curt smile and returned back to her conversation to Bann suchandsuch of somewhereoverthere. She'd probably kill him for that. He could hardly blame her, though. When he had told her he was willing to be put up for the throne, she offered to help tutor him. Something about how she would rather someone close to his age (and close to him) do it instead of someone older than him. They ended up spending many nights memorizing who's who and who's from where. It was a mess. He ended up falling asleep at a desk, or drifting off as he listened to her list off things lazily at camp.

"Such the love birds," Zevran continued "It was of great surprise when she announced she would be your wife, really Alistair, how could you hide your love from the rest of us. I'm really rather hurt," Alistair felt his cheeks heat up

"It's not-we're not," he took a breath, did he really have to live with this for an even greater time than originally thought? "This is simply…political"

 _Romantic, Alistair_

"We're doing what is right for Ferelden," he said in a low tone. Sure Zevran can know, who would he tell? Ferelden believes that they fell in love during the Blight, and despite all odds, managed to make it through and then married. All the fun, romantic things that happen in the songs and stories.

"As you say," he could hear the smirk in Zevran's voice. So, maybe he did have feelings for his bride-to-be. Honestly, who wouldn't? She is an indestructible goddess, a hero, a dragon slayer- "So, your wedding night, it will be quite interesting then yes?"

 _WHY_

"Zevran I don't think that's any of your business, or appropriate to have during a party celebrating her accomplishments,"

"Oh? I thought this dinner feast was dedicated to his majesty's coronation?"

"That's…hardly the point, the point is-"

"I can give you advice, where to put what, when to put what,"

"I know where to- we are not having this conversation," it just wasn't fair, he really just wanted to cover his ears and run away

"Haha, forgive me my friend, I just wish to see our dear warden, happy and _satisfied"_ the wayhe emphasized the last words, Alistair was sure he would die. He looked at Eliisa again, she was laughing as Oghren tried to dance with her "Now, now don't be so shy Alistair, communication is the key to any good relationship" Zevran took his chin in his fingers

 _He's actually serious about this_

"I don't think-"Zevran snapped

"Well the solution your problem is simple," as far as Alistair was concerned there was never any problem "Just ask her how she _satisfies_ herself" Alistair wasn't aware you could choke on nothing until this very moment

"Andraste's breath," his face was probably the same shade as his jerkin now, he'll never get to sleep tonight now that _that_ imagery was firmly planted into his mind "That's absolutely not appropriate. Why are we talking about this?"

"About what," Alistair knew the Maker existed because no one else could be this cruel. He turned to Eliisa, who was squinting at Zevran "What did you do?" Thank the Maker, she was here to rescue him.

"Oh nothing," Zevran smiled smoothly at him "Just a bit of…friendly advice,"

"Oh, I'm sure you have plenty advice, although I'm betting none of it is friendly,"

"My dear warden I am hurt and shocked at your accusation," he feigned heartache, placing his hand over his heart dramatically "I cannot bear this ache, I must leave, lest my heart be shattered completely," Eliisa hummed when Zevran kissed her cheek. Alistair's grip on his goblet tightened

 _Jealousy, Alistair? How very kingly._ He chastised himself

"And you, my King," her voice was now directed at him "He didn't scar you for life, again, did he?" his heartbeat sped up when her fingers brushed his as she took the goblet from him.

"Nothing I can't handle I can assure you," he grumbled and she smirked at him, taking a sip from his goblet, leaving a red lipstick stain on the glass.

 _How scandalous, Lady Cousland_

"I have no doubt," she placed the cup on a servant's tray as one passed by. He watched her face closely, noticing the way she scrunched up her eyebrows causing this cute crinkle between them. She clearly had something on her mind.

"Was there something you needed, my dear," _good one, not at all awkward_ "or did you just come to rescue me from Zevran" he offered his arm and sighed relieved when she took it.

"Yes, uh, to the former," they walked away from the crowd, his gloved hand over hers "Some plans have changed from this morning,"

"From the coronation? I swear, I was actually paying attention to-,"

"Alistair, it's nothing like that" she cut him off softly. She led him outside, in the dead of winter, and snow was piled softly on the ground. Her expression was far more serious than it was inside.

"What's wrong, 'Lis," she looked so distraught, "You know you can tell me anything,"

"I know," she faced him "My brother, ah, Fergus, has told me that the funeral will happen sooner than later," Alistair sighed through his nose harshly and nodded.

"When will you be leaving," he tried not to sound so disappointed. He couldn't keep her away from her home, her family, no matter how much he wanted her here

"The funeral is at the end of the month," she leaned her head on his arm "so I will depart for Highever in two weeks," her voice was hoarse but he said nothing, allowing an uncomfortable silence to wash over them. He knows he should be in there, meeting and greeting the nobles, listening to Eamon lecture him on something, complimenting some lady's dress, making some speech about something. Kingly stuff. But if Alistair was honest, he wouldn't trade these moments he had with her, for anything. He felt her shiver and looked down at her

"You are aware," he started trying sound playful "you are the one who brought us out here," he gave her a cheesy grin at her glare

"I didn't know it was going to start snowing again" she ground out. He looked up, snow had slowly started falling, and he chuckled

 _Ah yes, Eliisa Cousland's infamous hate of snow, that was certainly_ fun _in the Frostbacks_ , he thought fondly. She was so _cranky_ in the mountains, which made her almost impossible to tolerate walking around with her. Let alone her clinging to whoever was closest to her, for their warmth. Their group was caught between amusement and irritation.

"Of course not," he took of his cloak and placed it on her shoulders. When she opened her mouth to protest he cut her off "Don't argue," she pouted "imagine what everyone would say, 'Lady Cousland's intended couldn't even provide her with a cloak as she shivered in the snow,' I have an image to protect, your ladyship," she gave him a tired smile and wrapped the cloak further around her shoulders.

"Well if it's to keep my intended's image up, I guess I can suffer looking like a black blob," he grinned at her as she relaxed "Is it ok? Me leaving, that is"

"I'm not about to say you aren't allowed to go your family's funeral, Eliisa," he reassured her, silently praying to the Maker she would want to back inside palace, soon. The one with the fancy cheeses and fire, "Of course it's ok, are _you_ ok with you leaving? Do you want me to join you?"

"No," he tried not to look disappointed "You have just been crowned, Alistair, it wouldn't be…proper, for me to steal you away from your people and council so quickly," her shoulders raised and lowered as she took a deep breath, she was so tense "No, I can do this on my own,"

"Well that should go without saying," Alistair wrapped his arms around her and embraced her "I'd like to say I want to send some of the guard with you but between you probably protested that and how it would be unnecessary," he felt her smirk and wrap her arms around his middle. Nervously, he continued "and the fact that you don't actually need an honor guard, there's really no point in even mentioning it, is there?" she chuckled against him and shook her head.

This time, the silence was far more comfortable. He lifted his head to look up at the snow, watching as his breath condensing into the air. Looking down at her again, he smiled. Her face was against his chest looking thoughtfully at the gardens that were destroyed during the attack on Denerim. He kissed the top of her head, he probably shouldn't have.

 _You just keep doing this to yourself. You're such a fool._

She, however, didn't protest or seem uncomfortable. Just relaxed further into his arms. He still can't believe this is the woman who was to be his wife. His queen. He took a deep breath

"Eli-"

"Your Majesty," he was interrupted and she made a disapproving noise against him. Maker of all the people to come find him, it had to be the one Eliisa did not want anywhere near her.

"Chancellor Eamon," he started to pull away from Eliisa, smoothing out the cloak he lent her "is there a problem?"

"Your disappearance was noticed," he looked to Eliisa and gave her a look that he was sure, was going to drive her insane "Both of yours,"

"Well then," Eliisa started, already irritated, that wasn't good. Alistair nervously placed a hand in the middle of her back, thankfully it seemed to cause her to relax "If we both managed to disappear, let the people believe we are…" she trailed off

"Caboodling?" Alistair offered her, grinning when she snorted

"Something like that" their brief joy was cut off by Eamon's sigh

"Be that as it may," he pinched the bridge of his nose. Alistair suddenly felt like he was 8 years old again, being lectured for something for the umpteenth time. Eliisa glanced up at him, the look on her face had gone from amusement to indignation "You both need to be in the palace, doing your duties,"

 _Oh, bad choice of words_ he closed his eyes in exasperation. His future queen had quite the temper and went on the offensive when she felt provoked, even when it was ill advised.

"I believe Alistair and I did our _duty_ when we saved Ferelden, let alone Thedas, from the Blight, Eamon,"

"Of course, but your ladyship and _his majesty,_ " _Oh now we're correcting her, good, this will be over fast_ "still need to be amongst his people," he turned to Alistair "you offered me my title to help the throne, and so I am,"

Eamon was probably right. They should be in the palace, suffering nobles, offering fake smiles and fake laughs at awful jokes. He's sure that Eliisa knew that too. Alistair opened his mouth to intervene

"Come off it Eamon," she was always too fast for him "I needed to discuss something important and private with _Alistair_ and"

Alistair started to zone out, staring into the palace doors. This could go on forever and he wanted to make sure they were quiet enough that nobody came out and saw the future queen rip out Eamon's throat then wear it as a token.

In all honesty, he probably should have listened to Eliisa when she said Eamon wasn't needed. She was the one who taught him and tutored him all while trying to stop a Blight, not Eamon. Which she reminded him of when they had the…discussion. He felt obligated to give the man a title, he pretty much lost his own after the whole Connor business and Eamon had…sort of raised him, he owed him that much.

He remembered the fury on her face when he said that.

"You owe that man nothing," she paced the office. Alistair closed his eyes and rubbed his temples "you slept in the kennels, he gave to you to the chanty when you were inconvenient, where you were miserable if I might add, he threw you to the wolves when you have no experience with politics and now he's made you king suddenly he wants to have this title where he gets to what? Whisper in your ear? Tell how and who to judge?" her balled fists now firmly placed on her hips. He was starting to become annoyed

"He wasn't the one who made me king," he remembered immediately regretting what he said. He had expected to see her furious when he opened his eyes and looked at her. He would've preferred that "Eli-"

"Do what you want," she stated and walked out of the office, closing the door with a soft click.

And now Eamon is chancellor, Lady Cousland was furious, and he was going to be caught in the middle until one of them eventually kills the other. He subconsciously rubbed Eliisa's back, trying to calm her down.

 _This is going to go on forever we need to-_

His thoughts were interrupted with a happy bark. He swallowed and looked around, apparently Eliisa had heard it too because her face had gone from anger to that of apprehension. Eamon seemed to not have noticed.

That was, until there was a crash, a shriek and another bark come from the palace.

"What in the Makers name is happening in there," Eamon went to open the doors back to the palace. And really, the two of them should have warned him or said something. They really should have.

Lady, Eliisa's aptly named war hound, burst through the doors, quite proudly, knocking over Eamon, followed by a frantic Fergus Cousland and Arl Teagan, a drunk Oghren, an amused Zevran, and embarrassed Leliana and Wynne. Then a couple guards, who Alistair swore wasn't sure if they should actually touch the dog due to fear of being flayed alive by the hero of Ferelden.

"What happened" Eliisa demanded of her brother as she started to turn into the gardens, following the guards. Now a crowd was forming, great.

"I don't know," Fergus spoke up "One minute everything was fine, next thing your mutt is gallivanting along attempting to drink the entire wine bowl," Oghren gave a whoop "and then eat everything she could find," Alistair helped Eamon up and looked to Fergus, who for the most part, was playing the role of 'not laughing at his soon to be royal sister attempting to catch her half-drunk mabari' quite well.

Eliisa managed to grab hold of Lady's collar and get her to sit. She grinned at her accomplishment but then look horrified as she looked at the crowd that had formed.

"I believe that look is one of want of aid, my friend," he heard Zevran mutter to him. Alistair grunted in agreement and practically rushed down to her

"Please tell me this isn't happening," she whispered to him, her olive face becoming a shade darker in embarrassment

"I really, really wish I could, 'Lis," she groaned

"Well, at least I caught her-ah!" and just like that, the future queen of Ferelden was flat on her back, in the snow, stunned expression on her face. He swore that his time in the chantry wasn't nearly as quiet as this moment. The people looked like if they made a sound Thedas would collapse upon itself. He looked at Lady, who had proudly found a snow rabbit, and was attempting to play with it.

"'Lis are," Alistair can proudly say, that through his childhood, his training as a Templar and his time as a warden, he had gotten quite good at knowing when _not_ to laugh and suppressing that laughter. That of course changes, when your future brother-in-law, has no problem at laughing at his baby sister, in her embarrassment. He tried to hold his laughter back, "Eliisa are-are you" oh the glare she gave him only made it harder to stop the laughter.

"I'm going to kill the both of you," she muttered under her breath and raised herself on her elbows

"Now, now," he held out his hand for her "regicide is a serious crime," he teased her. She raised her brow at him and took his hand. He planned on picking her up, brushing her off and bringing her back into the palace. Eliisa had other plans of course, and now he was on his back, in the snow, with the stunned expression. Now their companions were laughing.

The poor court wasn't sure what to do, do they laugh, or do they shuffle back inside and pretend none of the ever happened? Alistair supposed it wasn't going to be long before they saw the actual personalities of their country's rulers. He just didn't think it would be the same day as his coronation.

"Eliisa, this" he was cut off by snow hitting his face

"Oh, I'm sorry your majesty, what was that? I can hardly hear you over all the snow in your face," she giggled. He grinned at the carefree sound, and gathered snow into his hand.

"I was saying," he quickly rubbed the handful of snow into her hair "this is war" she grinned at him and quickly leapt up. The tension that Alistair hadn't realized he had been carrying around seemed to melt away with the snow. The citizens who were so shocked and horrified moments before, were now grinning and laughing at their king and future queen, having a snowball fight.

"That is hardly appropriate court behavior," he heard Eamon mutter, either Eliisa didn't hear or she didn't care, because she continued on without a second glance.

"Come now, Eamon," Fergus replied "Let them have their fun, it's not easy ruling a country, besides it seems the people are quite amused" he gave him a sharp pat on the back and went to collect Lady. Teagan placed a reassuring hand on his brother's shoulder, but continued to laugh in amusement. The two watched Alistair and his future queen play in the snow, like children.

Eliisa managed to get him right square in the chest. Alistair gripped his chest in a similar manner as Zevran had earlier, and started to fall to the ground dramatically, "I'm still so young," he closed his eyes. He heard Eliisa's joyful laugher and watched her run over to him and kneel down into the snow "I hardly had any of the cheese," he pouted and she laughed harder and placed his head in her lap.

"My poor king," she snickered out and reached to grab his crown that had fallen during his dramatics "killed before his time" she rubbed snow in his hair causing it to go all sort of ways

"Heeeey," he whined, grabbing her wrists "I work hard on my hair you know," he opened his eyes to see her grinning down at him which he returned happily "your hands are freezing," he muttered and rubbed hers in his, blowing on them.

"Well some of us aren't fortunate enough to have outfits that look appropriate with big leather gloves," she teased him. He chuckled at her and took of his own gloves, the cold air hitting his slightly sweaty hands, and put his gloves on her hands. It looked ridiculous to be completely honest, his hands were much larger than hers. She didn't seem to care, though.

He looked back up to her, hair that was once neatly wound into braids now completely messy and coming apart, her face was flushed, she was completely covered in snow. He took a breath, this was the Eliisa he had seen during their travels. The one he had come to…care for. He brushed away stray hairs from her face and placed his hand on her cheek. He didn't think he had ever wanted to kiss her this badly.

"Well, now that this one has been taken care of," Fergus interrupted his thoughts, causing him to remember that they were in front of people. Scratch that, they were in front of _everyone_ , "I believe we can all return inside, where it's warm," he heard Lady bark happily. Alistair looked back at Eliisa, who was staring up at Fergus and Lady, with her eyebrows scrunched and pursed lips. Lady noticed her mistress' gaze and dipped her head low, probably apologizing. The mutt was too smart for its own good.

Fergus and Teagan had begun to usher everyone back in when Eliisa stood up and offered her hand to him. This time no one was knocked over. She smiled and placed the crown back on his head, adjusting it to be centered.

"I suppose that wasn't very kingly," he muttered brushing himself off

"Hmm," she grinned "I suppose not, but, well, who cares," she shrugged with a laugh "Come one Alistair, we'll go mad if we don't have some fun every now and then," she brushed off her arms "Besides, the people were amused, I call that a win/win,"

"I guess you're right," he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and hugged her, "come, let's see what damage your hound has done,"

"You just want to see if she ate all the cheese,"

"It was _fancy_ cheese, 'Lis, I've never tried half of them," she laughed out loud at him

"Yes, of course, how could I forget," he took her hand in his and they walked back into the ballroom together.

He really wished he had kissed her back in the snow.


	3. Her Ladyship

"He _cannot_ be serious," She looked down at Lady who snorted at her. Eliisa glared at a stable boy who was practically frozen in fear. She pinched the bridge of her nose, "Get the King…please," the poor boy ran off with a nod. She really should work on her temper. Really, though? _A carriage_? A gaudy, white carriage with gold filigree that she swore was Anora's wedding gift from Empress Celene. If this was Alistair's idea of joke, she's doesn't find it funny. Her fists were firmly on her hips as she tapped her foot impatiently.

She had been looking forward to riding a horse again. Riding always brought back fond memories from her childhood. Mother taught her how to sail, father how to ride a horse. Partially, at least. Along with those innocent lessons, she was also taught how to fight properly, on both.

She was interrupted from her memories when the stable boy rushed past her, back to his master, who patted the young boy's head with a sympathetic smile. Lady cocked her head to the side.

"Well isn't that…pretty," she heard Alistair stifle his laughter from behind her "Really, it's befitting for Ferelden's future queen,"

"This isn't funny," she whined "I don't need this Alistair, take it back from wherever you got it," Lady barked in agreement.

"Me? You think I did this?" this time he didn't hold back his laughter "And why am I being double teamed on this," he stared down at her mabari and scratched Lady's ears. Apparently, that was enough for her and she rolled onto her back, asking for a belly rub.

"Well if you didn't, then who did?" she crossed her arms. She turned her head at a cough, it was the stable master.

"If I may, my king, my lady" Lady barked. The man stopped to look at Lady before continuing nervously "Chancellor Eamon suggested that her ladyship should-" she stopped listening and turned around to Alistair, growling. She gave him an "are you serious right now?" look. Alistair thanked the stable hand and turned his attention back to her.

"I can't do anything about this"

"You're the _king_ ,"

"Eliisa," he groaned and she puffed her cheeks out "Eamon sent you a…gift," she raised her brow at him and he gave her a nervous smile "Maybe not the most…thoughtful gift…"

"Oh, it was thoughtful, he knew exactly what he was doing," she grumbled and turned back around, nervously tapping her foot again "I was really hoping to ride a horse to Highever,"

"I know," she relaxed when Alistair placed his hands on her shoulders and massaged them. Lady whined when her mistress was getting the attention she desired. She stood up and shoved her nose into Eliisa's hands.

 _If this isn't the picture of a Ferelden couple, I don't know what is._

"I haven't ridden in over a year, this is so…insulting," she exhaled, glaring at the ugly object. It was so _Orlesian_. What was Eamon even trying to pull? What was the point of trying to make the future queen look like this? She scratched Lady's snout, who rolled onto her back again.

"I know," she pouted when he stopped his hands and moved in front of her "But…" there was always a 'but' "aren't you just giving him the reaction he wants?" she huffed annoyed crossing her arms again. He was right, of course. "Besides, this way I won't be worried about how you're _not wearing armor_." At least she wasn't wearing one of her dresses; that would be a pain to fight in.

"Alistair, I'm going to a funeral, not to battle Darkspawn, it's perfectly normal to not wear armor constantly"

"And you know, just as well I as I, there are bandits who would pounce on a pretty woman, like you," she snorted at him "or assassins who use the image of helpless refugees on the road only to ambush you" Lady barked in agreement

"You're supposed to be on my side here," she looked down at Lady, who responded with happy panting. "Besides, I took care of them, both," he raised a brow at her "With a little help, I suppose,"

"Not all of them," she laughed

"Alistair," she exclaimed playfully smacking him in the arm "Be nice to Zevran, he was, is, loyal to us"

"Oh, of course," he pouted "You don't have to deal with his constant," he trailed off

"Teasing?"

"Something like that," he muttered and she grinned as his freckled face turned pink "You know, I asked him to travel with you, but he said he "has another job?" Sounds suspicious." he sang out

"I will be fine Alistair, no need to worry," she laughed at him "How many times did I end up saving our little group, in our travels?"

"Too many to count," he grinned at her and looked progress of her company. Eliisa did the same, the guards were starting to line up, horses were being attached to the carriage, and people were starting to watch to two of them. Lady, of course, was desperately trying to get someone to just rub her belly. That's when she noticed Eamon and Teagan were approaching the two of them.

 _Yup, time to go_

She wrapped her arms around Alistair's middle "I think that's my cue," she mumbled into his chest. He huffed and returned the embrace.

"Running away from me already, are we," she felt his chest rumble with a soft laugh. She wanted to tease him but in reality, she did not want to go back to Highever, she had even delayed leaving for a week. No amount of teasing and joking could mask that pain. She just hummed and nodded. "You sure you don't want, I don't know, armor?"

"I will be fine Alistair," she chuckled "Nothing to worry about, I promise. Besides, I have the best protection in Thedas. Don't I, girl?" Lady barked happily and circled the two of them. She looked up to him and smiled genuinely, "Well, second best." he gave her an embarrassed grin.

"Your majesty. My lady," Eamon approached and greeted them. Lady barked.

"Chancellor," she greeted, not moving from their embrace. _If he wants to play the "appearances game" then fine, let him._ She looked to Teagan "Arl Teagan," she nodded

"My lady," Lady barked. Eliisa could finally see why her oh-so-clever joke to name her dog "Lady" at the age of 10, made mother want to pull out her own hair. "I hope we aren't interrupting anything" Teagan bowed his head with his eyebrow raised at the two of them.

"Just some tearful goodbyes," Alistair responded and Teagan chuckled

Now, Teagan, she liked. He was far more kind, when it came to hers and Alistair's situation. Although, he was the one who ended up "encouraging" her to the awkward kiss at the end of the night of the coronation feast.

"For appearances," Teagan muttered to her

"Appearances? _Seriously_?" she felt like her face was on fire. Teagan had come to her after Lady had been put away safely, this time. Maybe even with a guard or two. Alistair made a joke about guards for a guard dog, but it was lost to her at the moment.

"Come now, you're to be married, it's only natural that you two are…intimate. Besides, it looked like you two would after your snowball fight, the court is expecting it now"

"What? We did? That is _not_ what was happening, Maker help me," she rambled and stuttered. Oh, she could take forehead, head, hand, cheek, anything but lip kisses. Her stomach was in knots, her face was blazing, all because of the suggestion to just kiss her best friend. Sure, he was going to be her husband and innocent kisses were at the bottom of the list of what else they'd be doing. She groaned, that thought did not help.

"Eamon is talking to Alistair, now," she whipped around to look at Eamon talking to Alistair, who looked about as distressed as she did. That only helped her stomach slightly.

Eventually, they made their way to one another, after Alistair's speech of thanks or congratulations or hope or _something_. She didn't know, she was absolutely not paying attention. Not until he grabbed her hand and kissed it. His guests were staring at them, like pigeons who spotted someone with bread. She hated birds. She bit her lip and gathered her courage. It was just a kiss, nothing life changing.

It was sweet, brief, and tasted of sweet red wine. After they walked out of the room, together, Alistair apologized profusely. All she could do is laugh at their nerves. Thankfully, he laughed with her.

Now, after almost three weeks, it didn't seem bother her anymore, not as much, anyway. Their kisses had been soft and short, and only in public situations, like this one.

"I see my suggestion for a safer way to travel was taken," Eamon stated bringing her out of her thoughts.

"Yes" she started "And I'm grateful to you Chancellor, Maker knows the weather in Highever can be quite spotty," _play nice, give smiles, and get out of this place_. She still hadn't released Alistair, but he didn't seem to care.

"You're quite welcome, my lady," Lady barked. Alistair buried his face into her neck, to hide his snickering, at least he found her 10 year old self funny. The stable master came to tell them the carriage was secure and all that was left was her.

"Well then," she sighed "It seems, I must be off," she looked at Alistair who nodded. "Burn this when I come back," she muttered to him after she got in and stooped in the door way.

"I'll think about it, it _is_ Orlesian." He chuckled "You definitely don't look like you belong in it," and she didn't. Brown leather leggings, leather coat with fur trim, leather boots, gloves, Starfang at her hip. She did have a long cotton shirt on under her coat and a thick wool cloak with fur around the hood. She could hear Leliana's cry of protest from Orlais. With her thick dark brown hair in a simple braid and not bothering with her make up today, no, she definitely did not look Orlesian.

"I'll take that as a compliment," he gave her a nervous smile.

"Stay safe?" he hugged her tightly and she smiled at him.

"Always," she bent down, placing a soft kiss on his lips, his recently grown back stubble scratching her softly. No, still not quite use to it.

 _Appearances, Eliisa. Remember you're in love._

Lady barked, quite angrily, if Eliisa knew any better.

"I believe someone is jealous," Alistair teased and Lady barked again "You know she is to be my wife," her ears perked and cocked her head to the side.

"Well, there's your answer," Eliisa cut in smiling softly.

"Mmm, I'm still not sure if she can actually understand us," Lady barked again before trying to get into the carriage.

"You lazy mutt," Eliisa complained before letting her in "I'll be back in two weeks, two and half tops," Alistair nodded "Don't go crazy without me,"

"I'll do my best," he grinned and closed the door when she was safely in her seat. Now to just survive the next 2 weeks.

As she figured, the ride to Castle Cousland was peaceful, stopping only for quick rests and when Lady decided she wanted to leave the carriage or come back in the carriage, Eliisa didn't know what had the dog so antsy.

Here she was, her ancestral home, the castle she grew up in, and the place where she lost nearly everything. She felt bile rise in the back of her throat, she didn't want to be here. She wanted to be back in Denerim, she'd rather deal with Eamon's bickering, or the incessant nagging about how she and Alistair need to act more like a couple, if they were truly going to play the part.

At first, she thought that the worst part was the fact the castle wasn't even fully repaired, just the bodies gone. Walls were still missing or torn partly down, burn stains painted the walls, she wouldn't be surprised if she walked into a room and nothing had changed or moved since she escaped over a year ago.

No, the worst part is when she was informed she would be staying in her old room. She was so nervous she couldn't get the words to protest out. Beads of sweat rolled down her body as she was led to her room. She couldn't do this.

When the servant opened the door for her, she almost winced. Lady whined out to her, apparently her hound had either sensed her distress or was just as upset as her. So she sat huddled over on the bed, one hand on her stomach, the other over her mouth, not sure if she would vomit or not. She couldn't do this.

 _I want to go home_

Eliisa blinked. When did she come to see Denerim as her home?

 _No, it's not Denerim_

She had told Alistair at the beginning of the Blight, the he and the wardens were her home, now that Highever and the safety that Cailan and Anora would've given her were gone. She guessed it hadn't changed since then. She thought back to the coronation feast, when he asked if she wanted him to come with her. She wished could've said yes. They had been through so much together, learned how to comfort each other. He always knew how to make her laugh. She started crying.

 _I want to go home_

She cried herself to sleep that night. Lady snuggled in her bed with her, protecting her mistress, as she always had. However, there's only so much a mabari hound can protect, and nightmares weren't one of them. She woke sweating and screaming, immediately turning to the side of the bed to vomit. The guards came with swords at the ready, but there was nothing there but a growling mabari and their vomiting future queen. She never went back to sleep, the screams in her ears and the sight of blood and gore of her loved ones in her eyes.

When breakfast came, Eliisa and Fergus sat in the Great Hall, sitting in silence, Eliisa said she wasn't hungry. She clung to her fur shawl wrapped around her shoulders and she tried to keep warm.

"Must it be so cold here," she said, breaking the silence

"I can get them to stroke and add tinder to the fires, sister" she nodded at him "Do you need something to help you sleep? Maybe some valerian or poppy seed milk?" Fergus whispered to her, like people were listening in. She shook her head

"N-no, I'm fine," she lied. Fergus didn't press the issue but glanced at her every so often.

The following nights were no different, only she had managed to contain her screams and stop vomiting. She curled herself in a ball and brought the pillow to face, muffling her cries. She couldn't do this for much longer. She was going to break. Oren's room was right across from hers, she swore one night he heard him call for her.

 _I want to go home_

She almost didn't make it to the funeral, she was in such distress, but she walked in front the coffins with the supposed bones of her family, with her head held high. She led the procession to the traditional pyres, as Fergus and his men, father's friends, mother's family members of the Storm Coast, brought the coffins forward. Her black brocade dress flowing in the wind. It was going to rain.

The pyres were ready and bones, wrapped in a white shroud, were placed in. Eliisa wasn't sure how she was still standing. Her body was shaking, her heartbeat frantic, she could tell she was pale from the cold feeling in her cheeks. She watched the flames, thinking back to the pyre she and her companions had built for Cailan.

 _How many more loved ones must I place in a pyre before their time?_

After a long, dreadful period, the fires were put out, the ashes placed in golden urns, and Eliisa and Fergus led the people back to the castle. There the funeral feast was held, to celebrate the lives of those lost and there seat at the Makers side. The people got drunk on wine and ale, played games, told stories, sang songs (specifically "The Soldier and the Seawolf"), and ate fish and venison. Eliisa watched from her place at the high table in the dais, her shawl wrapped around her loosely, the hearth was warm and comforting. The people of the coast knew her, they knew her family, and they understood her. This is what she missed for so long. She spoke with old family friends, and mother's family. She told them of her battles in the Blight, the journeys through dungeons and caves, the battle with the high dragon in the Frostbacks. The people hooted and hollered, raising glasses in laughter.

"Bryce and Eleanor's little pup a dragon slayer!"

"Spitting image of the Eleanor when she was her age"

"Is that how you captured his majesty's heart, in the midst of battle?!"

Lady, who hadn't left her side, was celebrated too, of course.

 _Leave it to us Dog Lords to celebrate a mabari._

She was given a thick bone from the leg of one of the bucks and told that she should have a statue in the middle of Denerim's square. Eliisa warned the people to not tell Alistair, he might actually do it. Everyone laughed, saying that if he did it, he's definitely the Ferelden king they deserved.

She cried, whether of joy or sadness, she couldn't say. Maybe a little of both.

She had returned to Denerim, two weeks later, just past dusk. She slipped quietly into her room, and starting unpacking when her handmaiden came to greet her.

"I don't wish to be disturbed, Deirdre," Eliisa told her with a hoarse voice "Please no visitors," she curtsied and began to gather her clothing for the wash. Eliisa ignored the concerned look on her face. Eliisa had almost finished unpacking, with Lady's trailing behind her every move, when she heard a knock on the door. She sighed and nodded to Deirdre to open the door.

"Forgive me, but my Lady-Oh, your majesty!" Eliisa closed her eyes tiredly

 _Shit_

"I hope I'm not disturbing anyone," she heard Alistair's joyful voice from the beyond her door

"N-no," Deirdre was flustered "B-but-"

"Its fine, Deirdre," she called and looked at the door, Alistair's grin and quickly turned into a frown "Leave us," she said as kindly as possible. She watched Alistair mutter something softly to her handmaiden. She curtsied deeply before rushing off.

"What did you say to the poor girl," she ignored his gaze, returning to placing her things back in their proper place.

"Just for her to tell everyone to leave you alone," he responded "Eliisa," she could hear the worry on his tongue, feel the tension in the air. She walked to her vanity looked at herself in the mirror, she looked no better than she did when they had first met. Dark circles under her eyes, lips cracked and chapped, she knew he could tell she hadn't eaten much, and the look of pure exhaustion. She felt like an exposed nerve, raw and broken. She turned, placing her hands behind her, grasping the vanity. She met his gaze but quickly averted her eyes.

"I'm fine,"

"You're not," she looked up in surprise and slightly frustrated.

"I'm _fine_ , I don't-," she tried to argue but the words never came, the look on his face making the words sticky. The tenderness and concern in his gaze was breaking her. She was brought back to when they first met, the pain on her face, how utterly lost she felt. She thought of Highever, of Oren, of mother and father, of Kinloch Hold, to the Broodmother, and the Frostbacks. She started to hyperventilate and she shook her head violently.

"Eliisa," he took her hand and started to pull her away from the vanity. "You don't have to hide it from me." She clung to his shirt when he embraced her. He managed break down the wall she had just built back up. She started sobbing and hiccupping, she felt like screaming. Lady lay at their feet with a soft whine, placing her face on top of Alistair boot.

"I can't, I don't" she wailed, she tried so hard to talk but nothing comprehensible came out, only frustrating her more. He kept one arm around and with the other he wiped the tears from her face. She hiccupped "I can't go back."

He led her to the bed bench and sat her down before quickly joining her "I should've been with you," Eliisa shook her head but said nothing. Lady looked up to her, with her sad puppy eyes and placed her head in Eliisa's lap "See, look at Lady, she even agrees" Lady barked

"They hadn't really repaired anything," she started leaning into his side when he wrapped his arm around her shoulder "Just cleaned up a bit, got rid of the bodies, made sure it was "safe,"" she felt another sob coming, but swallowed the lump in her throat "I couldn't sleep." she told him everything, the nightmares, the sounds, the smells, the funeral.

"I _should_ give her a statue," he stated after a long silence, quite seriously. Lady wagged her nub excitedly and Eliisa looked at him with an incredulously.

"Alistair, no," she whined and he laughed at her

"But look at her, would you disappoint such a face," Lady barked and licked Alistair's face. Eliisa laughed and pulled Lady off him, "And there it is,"

"What," she looked from Lady to him

"That," he pointed to her lips and she subconsciously raised her fingers to them to wipe whatever it was off them "You're smile, Eliisa," she looked away with pursed lips but the smile still there. He rubbed her shoulder and placed his cheek on the top on her head "You're going to be ok," he whispered into her hair "You're back now," tears filled her eyes again but the smile remained.

She grabbed his hand and held it in both of hers, "Yeah," she sniffed and leaned into him, letting a comfortable silence wash over them. She rubbed circles into his hand with her thumb, she thought of all the times they had taken care of each other during the Blight. All the times she wiped his tears, or when he wrapped around his arm around her as she broke down silently. "Thank you, Alistair,"

"Hm?" he lifted his head from hers.

"For always being here for me," she whispered "You have been from the beginning," she smiled at his bashful one

"What can I say, I can't leave a lady crying can I?" Lady barked and Alistair rubbed her head "How old were you when you named her again?"

"Ten, I thought I was clever, Mother did not," she gave a watery laugh

"Did you also teach her to bark at the sound of her name?"

"…yes," Alistair didn't bother holding back his laughter. They continued to talk and joke, after the pain of Highever was forgotten. It felt good to just be friends for a while. She listened to him as he told a story about Oghren getting excessively drunk and Sten having to deal with it, he had to have had the biggest grin on his face. When Eliisa thought about it, this was the first time in the past two months they had spent without anyone around. She relaxed into him, closing her eyes, laughing at the picture he was painting with his words.

His smile reminded her of Maric's, if she was honest. She remembered cursing herself for not seeing the resemblance before he had told her about his parentage. After he told her though, all she could see were the similarities. She, of course, never said it out loud but his jawline, his hairline, his sense of humor, everything seemed the same. She couldn't look at him without thinking of the royal family. Maybe that's why she had pulled back so far during those months. She didn't yell or get angry at him, but she avoided him altogether.

Of course, she was so wrapped up in her own feelings and sense of betrayal because he kept such a secret from her, she didn't even notice what she was doing to him. It had to be pointed out to her, not so kindly, by _Morrigan._ The guilt she felt when she realized how she had hurt him was practically unbearable. He revealed his life to her and she acted like such a spoiled brat afterwards, it was unforgiveable. But this was Alistair, of course he forgave her, he "was just happy to have his friend back." She ended up crying in her tent that night, in shame. Maybe, it's why she snapped at Goldanna the way she did and why she fought with Eamon so often, because she saw herself in them.

Now, though, all she saw was him.

"Did I say something wrong," Alistair's voice broke her thoughts.

"Hm? O-oh," she coughed embarrassed "No, no, I just got…lost in a memory,"

"A bad one, it would seem," he looked at her worried but she gave him a, hopefully, reassuring smile.

"Yeah," she muttered "it's all in the past now, though" She squeezed his hand. He quirked his eyebrow but said nothing, "You know, this is the first time since the Blight we've spent actual time together," she changed the subject.

"Yes," he grunted "You would think I would actually get to spend time with you, but as it would seem it's "not proper to spend so much time alone" with your future wife." she snorted when he used air quotes.

"And who, my dear king, said that?" when he didn't answer she knew who it was "Wonderful." She groaned and rolled her eyes.

"We'll just have to deal with it for now, there won't be much anyone can do when we're, well, y'know, married," he coughed and rubbed the back of his neck. He distracted himself by petting Lady. She took the opportunity to take in his appearance. He already looked so stressed and tired from his new role. She knows she would never stand to let someone else decide her fate. She hated herself for putting him through this.

"By the way, you could have told me the "job" that Zevran had was to shadow me for two weeks," he grumbled

"What's the fun in that?" she giggled at his glare "I needed to know you were taken care of Alistair," she reasoned "You know, no assassinations, poisoning, making sure you're eating, sleeping, bathing-"

" _Bathing_ ," she bit her lip. He had squeaked the words out, his face had gone completely red, and it was adorable "Eliisa, you cannot be serious, I'm a grown man, I don't-"

"I'm teasing you Alistair," she laughed and placed her hand over his mouth "Zevran did not watch you bathe,"

"That was not funny, my Lady Cousland," she grinned at his bashfulness

"It was a little funny," she raised her brow when he stood up "Where are yo- no, Alistair no!" she squeaked when he picked her up, threw her on the bed and started _tickling_ her.

"Embarrass the king, will you," she gave an incredibly unladylike cackle as she tried to "fight" him off. If she really wanted to, she could get him off with no problems. Not that Alistair would actually do something to her without her consent. She felt her tension finally release from her muscles and he blew a raspberry on her stomach causing her to snort.

"Your majesty, this is absolutely improper behavior of a king," she finally gained her breath back when he stopped, laying on his stomach and leaning on her forearms next to her.

"You'll have to forgive me, your ladyship, I _was_ raised by dogs,"

"Mmm, I suppose I can forgive you, this time at least," she grinned at him wickedly

"Oh, no, I know that look," he tried, unsuccessfully, to get away before she tackled him and stuck her fingers into his hair, messing it up completely "Eliisa, nooo"

"Oh, but you look so cute Alistair," she giggled at him

" _Cute,"_ he pouted "Just what I was aiming for. Ow, could you maybe stab me in the face first before you say something like that." she laughed wholeheartedly at his dramatics

"Would you prefer ruggedly handsome?"

"Maybe," she laughed at him as he looked away

"What, never been called handsome, my king?

"Not unless somebody wanted something," she snorted "There was this one time in Denerim, but uh, that woman, was uh, not like you," he blushed and looked away. She smiled fondly at him.

 _He's ridiculous_

They both groaned when there was a knock at the door.

"What's the point of saying not to disturb someone when people aren't going to listen?" she sat up and started towards the door. She started to think about who would disturb her, now. A servant who didn't get the memo? No, Deirdre was very good at keeping people away when she wanted them away. It could be Zevran, he, she could handle. The other options are Eamon and Teagan, neither of which she felt like dealing with.

 _Please be Zevran, please be Zevran, please be Zevran, oh, of course._

"Your ladyship,"

"Chancellor,"

 _Why couldn't it have been Zevran?_

"I've come to welcome you back to Denerim," she smiled at him, she knew that despite Alistair's care, she still looked terrible, "How are you feeling, my lady,"

"Quite exhausted, my lord, and I thank you for your greeting," she smiled sweetly at him, wanting him to just _go_ "I beg your pardon, Eamon, but I was-"

"Of course," he bowed his head "Oh, one last question, King Alistair went off in a rush when we were informed that you had returned, have you seem him?" she had never wanted to lie more in her life

"I'm here, Eamon," she heard Alistair from behind her, how did she not notice him walk up to her? Eamon looked taken aback for a moment before nodding stiffly/

 _Oh Maker, he does not approve_

"I was making sure my lady was safe and sound," she swallowed when raised her hand to his lips and kissed her palm.

"Of course, your majesty," Eamon was flustered. Eliisa raised a brow "I will see you both at breakfast tomorrow morning, welcome back again, my lady," she nodded her head and closed the door swiftly. She spun around and gave him stern gaze. He just grinned at her.

" _Alistair_ ," she gently pushed the two of them back from the door "You are fully aware what he thinks now," she whispered frantically. He shrugged and kept his grin. She stared in disbelief before covering her face in her hands "Don't you-, I can't believe you, this-, Eamon knows we-. Ridiculous," she huffed and covered her face with her hands, she would not let him see how it amused her.

"You're laughing," he sang out

"I am _not_ ,"

"I thought lovers were supposed to caboodle," she snorted "and it got him to leave, didn't it? We keep our image up," she peeked at him through her fingers and narrowed her eyes slightly "No doubt rumors will be spread about this. Besides now Eamon won't stress you out more than you already are, win/win, right?" He still had that grin, that silly, goofy grin that shouldn't make him look as handsome as it did. She sighed and removed her hands from her face.

"Be that as it may-" she was cut off by his arms wrapping tightly around her

"Don't stress yourself, over it, 'Lis," he rubbed her back "I know you're not going to be ok for a little while, you don't need more unnecessary stress," she hummed and closed her eyes "Plus, you can't tell me you didn't find his reaction hilarious," she smiled

"You're ridiculous," she muttered

"Hey, you knew that when you agreed to marry me," this time she laughed

"I believe it was the other way around, Alistair. You agreed to marry me,"

"True enough," he let her go "It's definitely not one of the _worst_ decisions I've made," she rolled her eyes but kept the smile "It's getting late, I'll send someone to bring you water for a bath," he straightened his hair out so it didn't looked so disheveled. She opened the door for him "and get some sleep 'Lis, you look like you need to sleep for a week,"

"Yes, mother," she teased him

"Ha-ha, yes, make fun of me for worrying about you," she smiled and looked down the hall to see servants scattered about, guards walking the halls and raised a brow at him.

"Good night, King Alistair," she laughed at his pout when she used his title and kissed the corner of his mouth.

"Good night, Lady Cousland," he cleared his throat before bowing and departing.

 _Was he blushing?_

Later that night, after she had bathed, she curled up in her bed, and for the first time, in two weeks, fell asleep peacefully. It felt good to be home.


	4. Dancing Partner

Alistair still wasn't exactly sure why he agreed to Eamon's suggestion to take dancing lessons for the past few weeks.

"For the wedding," Eamon reasoned "A king should at least dance with his queen on his wedding day." Alistair was trying his best not to pout.

"And Eliisa?" he asked slowly and unsure.

"Lady Eliisa was taught to dance at a young age and has attended many gatherings where she danced with partners. Her coming of age party, her brother's wedding, Cailan's coronation, his royal wedding, the-"

"I understand," Alistair huffed.

To be honest, he doubted he would have hated these lessons as much as he did if his teacher wasn't so…mean. Or if he could have a partner that wasn't said teacher. Bitter old hag.

"Your majesty, if you would pay attention, this could get done faster," Alistair blushed and fumbled through the next steps. Between stepping on the old woman's toes and her ranting about how she taught all of the high nobles (including his future wife), Alistair was exhausted.

"Ah, there you are Zevran," he heard Eliisa's voice enter the room. He blanched when he processed her words. He stopped dancing immediately, ignoring his instructors protests. Zevran smirked at him before walking up to Eliisa and kissing her hand.

"Is there something you need," he _purred_ at her.

"Hm, as a matter of fact," she whispered something to him and he nodded before quickly walking away. Of course, he was slow enough to give Alistair one last glance of mockery. He really hated these lessons.

"Your ladyship," his instructor curtsied to her.

"Lady Adriaa," she smiled sweetly "I hope that my king hasn't been too much trouble," she grinned at him. Suddenly, he was very aware that he would now have to dance in front of her. He already felt the heat rising in his face.

"Nothing I can't handle, my lady. I tutored your brother after all," Eliisa giggled.

"True enough," she turned to him "If I may, Lady Adriaa?" he followed her quietly as she pulled him away, by the hands.

"If you think you can do it, by all means." was this woman being snide? He's had nightmares about this, become king and a mockery all in one sitting. Great. Eliisa just smiled in response.

"How have your lessons been?" Alistair looked down at her as she placed his hand on his shoulder blade.

"Well, I thought they couldn't get much worse," he lifted their hands in the air "But then I was informed Zevran was watching me and now I get to embarrass myself in front of my betrothed." she raised her eyebrows.

"Oh, you won't your embarrass yourself," he heard Adriaa clap and start counting a rhythm.

"You clearly haven't seen me dance," he stated incredibly self-conscious. She glided along the dance floor, easily making up for his mistakes and bumbling.

"We danced at camp didn't we?" she grinned. It was true, Eliisa had managed to get many of their party members to dance with her when Leliana played her lute. He remembered her dragging him out of his place by the fire, laughing at his stubbornness.

"That was different," he whined out "It wasn't some fancy waltz where everyone will be watching just how horrible their king is at dancing."

"Alistair, I was awful when I first learned,"

"You were _eight_ ,"

"And _Fergus_ was my partner. He tried so hard to mess me up, spin," she instructed softly before he realized she meant for him to spin her "every chance he had. Probably, because he was terrible and couldn't stand that I was learning way faster than he did." He chuckled

"Well, you're a better partner than that old-, Lady Adriaa,"

"Nice catch." she laughed at him.

"Like I said, embarrass myself." he muttered "What was it you needed Zevran for? Why was he even watching me?" his curiosity got the better of him as the questions tumbled out.

"Oh, really nothing," he smiled back at her grin "I needed to send something to Leliana and asked him to. Mostly, I just wanted him out of here, for your sake of course."

"How kind of you," he grumbled.

"Well, I thought so. As for your second question, I have no idea. Perhaps he was bored?" She shrugged her shoulders as best she could.

"Ah good, I'm entertainment,"

"Had you noticed, you could have asked him to dance with you," she gave him a toothy grin.

"Funny,"

"He would've complied." he didn't argue because he knew she was right. He'd probably would have done _better_ with Zevran than with Adriaa. They slowed down to a stop when his instructor stopped her hands.

"Much better, your majesty. It seems love does conquer all if it can get you through one dance without stepping on any toes." Alistair coughed embarrassed.

 _Now, all that needs to happen to make this even more embarrassing is to find out I'm not wearing pants._

"Again?" he looked down at Eliisa, whose eyebrow was raised in question, "I'll let you lead this time," she whispered with a teasing grin.

"I hope you're ready to face the consequences of that decision," he squeezed her hand and took the first step.

"I'm sure I can handle it."

"Lady Adriaa has informed me that you've improved your dancing significantly." Alistair held back a groan as he cut into his food. It's been hours since the ridiculously embarrassing dancing lesson in the morning. After he and Eliisa had lunch together he had to sit in court and listen to the grievances, complaints, pleas, what have you, of the citizens. It was stressful, especially since Eliisa couldn't be there to support him, like she usually did. Apparently, she had to deal with wedding plans.

"Yes, Eliisa had come in halfway through the lesson and offered to help," he grinned at her but she just rolled her eyes playfully.

"Don't sell yourself short, Alistair, you did quite well," she took a sip of her wine "He will be fine for the wedding Eamon, I doubt he needs to continue the lessons,"

 _Thank the Maker for this woman._

"Perhaps," Eamon started "I will speak to Lady Adriaa and see where she stands," Alistair sighed and placed his hand over Eliisa's. He knew she hated it when her suggestions were ignored when it came to the crown, especially by Eamon. She hummed and took another sip.

"Lady Eliisa," Teagan spoke up breaking the tension "I hear that your brother will be arriving to your family's estate within the week,"

"Yes, he wanted to be here to help with any wedding preparations," this time Alistair took a drink of wine. The wedding was less than two weeks away and many of the nobles who were invited were starting to arrive. He was nervous, to say the least. As each day passed, it was all he could think about. Well, really, it was all _anyone_ could talk about. Marriage, love, relationship, vows, feast, _babies._ Maker, every time anyone in the vicinity said anything about heirs or babies or children Alistair swore he was on fire.

Children weren't the issue. He liked children, for the most part. And he'd be lying if something deep inside him didn't find joy thinking about holding his own baby. Raising them, loving them, never letting them have the childhood he had. No, it was the fact that he to _lay with Eliisa_.

 _Oh, that sounded bad._

It's not like he didn't _want_ to sleep with her.

 _That sounds worse._

Even his head was working against him. She was his best friend. Sure, he _might_ have hidden feelings about her. And sure, he _may_ have thought about it once or twice. She is an incredible, strong, beautiful, practically untouchable woman with whom he would never actually ever have a chance with, if it wasn't for their situation.

They hadn't really _talked_ about the…lamppost licking that was to take place on their wedding night, either. Just sort of, acknowledged it was going to happen. Zevran and Leliana had both come up to him, after his coronation, and attempted to give him "advice" and followed up by trying to get him to talk to Eliisa about it more. He had refused in his embarrassment, stammering some idiotic excuse. They had mentioned/teased him about "first time" and "virgin," it made him remember they weren't in on the Morrigan thing.

He cringed. He absolutely did not want to think about that night. Eliisa had come to him, explaining Morrigan's ritual, how it would save both of them, and then she said it was up to him. He almost said he was going to refuse but remembered that meant _losing her_. He knew she'd never let him near the Archdemon, let alone take the final blow. And he couldn't count on Riordan even though he really wanted to. He realized in those few seconds it took to mull it over, that he was sure he couldn't live without her in the world. So he, begrudgingly, did the ritual, in the room Eamon lent her, while she stayed in his room. He almost went back to her that night to try and talk but decided she probably didn't want see him.

Alistair looked to his future queen, she had that tired look on her face she got when it came to talking about her family. Specifically about how she only had her brother there for _her own wedding_.

"Rehearsals will be starting soon and since Fergus will be the one who walks me down the aisle, it's appropriate he be here." She finished and started eating again, her simple way of saying she was done talking about the subject. He squeezed her hand and she gave him a small but sad smile.

Dinner was quiet the rest of the evening.

"So, what did he say after you said the crown couldn't help him with his heads of cabbages lost during the Blight?" Eliisa laughed reclining on the couch in his office, easily on her way to being quite inebriated. He opened his mouth but she cut him off "Hold on, was it something like "lettuce never forget the heads lost due to the Darkspawn and their rotten behavior."" Alistair covered his mouth with his hand to hide is grin.

"Eliisa, that was bad."

"You come up with something better," she pouted. They had agreed to meet in his office to discuss what happened in court, but it was mostly to get Eamon and Teagan off their backs for a couple hours. Alistair sighed, his new role is stressful and he was fairly certain he wasn't doing well at it. He walked from behind his desk to join her on the couch. She groaned then sat up, placing her head in his lap when he settled down next to her.

"Hey," she whispered with a soft look in her eyes "I'm proud of you, Alistair. You're doing a good job. Don't stress yourself out." He returned her smile and kissed her knuckles. He wasn't sure how she was able to read his mind like she could, but he was grateful for it. Whether or not he believed her words was something else entirely, but knowing she was on his side, made the days that much more tolerable.

"How was your day?" he smoothed out her hair before taking a sip from his glass.

"Boring, wedding planning is so _boring_ ," he laughed at her.

"You find your own wedding boring?"

"You know what they had me do, today? They held out two pieces of rope, right, for the knot tying?" he nodded at her "Your Ladyship," he laughed at her imitation "You must decide which shade of red you prefer for your knot, it is of upmost importance!" she covered eyes with one hand "I killed the Archdemon and the most important thing to these people is whether I think I should be tied to my husband with scarlet or crimson." He smiled down at her rubbing her arm.

"Well, it's _because_ you killed the Archdemon people can ask ridiculous questions like that," she moved her hand from her face and looked up with a soft expression.

"I _guess_ , since you put it that way," he smiled warmly when she looked away with a huff "They made the worst joke, too, "Cousland colors are green and blue while Theirin is red and gold, maybe we should just combine them and make the "Theirin purple,"" she groaned "I think I said "no, I don't want purple in my wedding no matter how much Maric liked it," about 50 times before they realized I was serious. I mean really, it doesn't need to be an exact replica of Cailan's wedding."

Alistair smiled down at her. He tried not to think about the fact she knew his father and brother better than he ever did. He thought back to Ostagar, how Duncan stated that he would meet Eliisa soon, but she was with the king. Duncan had motioned to where she was, her back was to Alistair, but he could see in her shoulders how tired and distressed she was. Cailan stood in front of her, with his hands on her shoulders. He was visibly angry and listening intently to her. He stated that when the Blight was over he'd take care of Howe and that he nor Anora wouldn't let anyone get away with hurting someone they considered dear to them. He swallowed the bitterness caught in his throat, it's not her fault how his life worked out.

Not too long ago, he wondered what it would have been like if Maric had kept him as his son. Would they have been betrothed like Cailan and Anora? What would it have been like to know each other from birth, raised around each other, knowing they would marry? What would've happened during the Blight? He doubted it would've stopped Howe's treachery. Eliisa still would've been made a warden. Would he have been slain in order to keep Anora on the throne? Would he have been at Ostagar with Cailan? He didn't want to think about it. It didn't matter anyway, he wasn't wanted as the heir, in the first place.

"Everything ok, Alistair?" her voice broke his thoughts "You've got that lost puppy look on your face that always makes me wanna wrap you in a blanket and give you cookies," he snorted, she's starting to get to the "no more alcohol for Eliisa" point.

"I'm fine, Eliisa," he whispered "Just thinking of the past,"

"That never goes well," she sat up and touched his cheek. He smiled softly and placed his hand over hers "Anything specific?"

"I was thinking of the first time we met," he half-lied.

"You mean our "destiny," and "fate"?" she mocked the rumors spread about them with an eye roll "How I," she placed the back of her wrist on her forehead dramatically "fell in love at first sight, and fought so hard against the Blight so that we could be together, forever." he laughed and shifted when she turned to face him.

"You're forgetting the part where I confess my love to you after I become mortally injured in a feverish haze."

" _Maker_ , you're joking,"

"Heard it the other day,"

"I want to know who's making these tales up." she paused "I wonder if it's Zevran "helping,"" he groaned. Zevran helping their relationship was nothing new. He even encouraged Alistair to confess his feelings for Eliisa during the Blight. Alistair quickly stated there was nothing between them and that there was no way Eliisa cared about him that way. "I mean the rumor is partially right," Alistair swallowed and stifled a groan.

 _Here it comes_

"You _were_ mortally injured and stuck in a feverish haze," she glared at him. Ah yes, that whole situation. During their dealings with the Dalish, and the werewolves, they had run into a pack and were starting to become overwhelmed. Eliisa had been knocked back and stunned when one of the beasts lunged for her. Long story short, he got in front of her and took the bite. Its fangs sank into his shoulder quite easily.

"You idiot," he heard her yell at him after the beasts had been slain "Why would you do that!?"

"It would've killed you," he muttered woozy and falling to the ground. He didn't think it would affect him this quickly, of course it could also be from the massive amount of blood he was losing.

"You idiot," she repeated softly catching him and laying him against her "Morrigan, get Wynne, _now_. Leliana, I need your help to stop the bleeding! Lady, _guard._ " He felt raindrops on his cheek and opened his eyes. The sky was clear. "If you die on me, I will never forgive you, Alistair," he wiped the tears from her cheeks.

"Wouldn't dream of it."

Thankfully, Wynne had managed to slow down his dying long enough for Eliisa to have him cured. The relief on her face when she found him alive and mostly okay, was quickly replaced with her yelling angrily at him for hours.

"It was for a good cause," Alistair shrugged, "Couldn't let my lady love become a werewolf," she made a disapproving noise.

"I bet you still have the bite marks in your shoulder," she poked him.

"I might." he raised his eyebrow at her and she raised the glass to her lips, to finish her second, or maybe her third, glass of wine. "I suppose you'll find out soon enough." she coughed into her cup and looked at him with wide eyes. Her face had gone a shade darker and all he could do is laugh at her.

"Stop spending so much time with Zevran," he had come to appreciate how cute she was when she became bashful, "He's clearly a bad influence."

"I'll take your suggestion into consideration," he couldn't help the grin that claimed his face at her bashfulness. "Speaking of lady love, I'm supposed to write a speech for the wedding feast, care to help?" he changed the subject. She relaxed slightly before placing her empty cup on the small end table.

"Oh yes, ask the woman who just finished three cups of wine to help write a speech," he chuckled at her almost childish giggles "Why not?" he grabbed paper and a quill from his desk before sitting back down and raising his brow at her.

"So, we're starting with how thankful me and my blushing bride-"

"Mmmm, add a beautiful in there, that'll really get 'em going,"

"Of course. How thankful me and my _beautiful_ blushing bride…"

 _This is ridiculous_ Alistair thought irritated. He thought Eliisa was exaggerating when she told him all the superficial details she had been asked daily. They were now in the Chantry chapel where they would be married, deciding what color carpet they should walk down.

"Don't you think gold carpet is a bit _much_?" Fergus Cousland attempted, from his seat in the pew behind them "Just choose the red-"

"Your lordship," the decoration lady cut in, clearly annoyed "With all due respect this is the _royal wedding_ , the couple should decide," Fergus lifted his hands in defeat and leaned back into the seat, crossing his arms.

"We could have no carpet," Alistair suggested and regretted it immediately.

"King Alistair," decoration lady gasped "You and Lady Eliisa deserve more than some _commoners_ wedding." He rolled his eyes at her scoff. Not too long ago, he _was_ a commoner and this woman wouldn't have spared him a glance, let alone lecturing him on the proper carpet he should walk on "You're the heroes of the Blight, our _beloved_ king and future queen, you should not have to walk down the aisle with your heels clicking on the stone floor. You should-"

 _Maker, she's extravagant._

He felt Eliisa lean into his side, she looked like she was trying her hardest to seem interested. Alistair rubbed her back as the decoration lady explained the importance of not letting the future queen potentially ruin her shoes on stone floor.

 _Did we suddenly become Orlesian, since when did we care about what color a rug is?_

"The red," Eliisa interrupted and the lady's nose twitched but she nodded and wrote down notes. This continued for at least another two hours talking about banners, flowers, ribbons, and all sorts of things he couldn't possibly care about. Both he and Fergus gave input when they found the chance but the decoration lady was mostly interested in his bride's opinion. Eventually, they moved onto the actual reason they were in the chapel, the wedding and queen consort coronation rehearsal.

Eamon, who had showed up _after_ the decoration lady left, instructed him on where and how to stand. He already looked put out, although he couldn't place why.

"You'll see." Teagan nudged him and inclined his head towards the closed doors where Fergus and Eliisa were waiting. "Those two aren't known for playing well with others, during events where at least one of them is supposed to be the center of attention." He gave a strained smirk.

"Alright," Eamon clapped "The music will start playing, and then you two," he pointed at the two guards "will open the doors," they did "and then Fergus will walk- oh _Maker's breath_ "

"What's wrong Eamon," Fergus called from the back of the chapel. Alistair was aware that trying not to laugh at situations like these, only made them funnier

"You cannot just…carry the bride over your shoulder like a sack of flour,"

"You clearly weren't at my wedding," Eliisa's 'ha!' only seemed to irritate Eamon more.

"Let's try that again," he motioned for the guards to close to door. Alistair took a calming breath. Eamon motioned for the doors to open to open. This time the two siblings were standing properly, arm in arm, "Come slowly, you need to give enough time for the guests to bow, slower, _slower."_ Eamon groaned and sent them back.

"So where does Lady play in all this?" Eliisa questioned

"Your…hound?"

"Yes, of course, she _is_ family. And how could I become the queen of the dog lords without my dog here without me?"

"Your ladyship…please go back behind the doors,"

Alistair stared in wonder at how silly, Eliisa was being. It's not like he's never seen her like this, but it seemed to come out with far more ease, when Fergus was around. Their antics seemed to continue for quite a while and Alistair wasn't sure what he had gotten himself into. He let out a soft chuckle, his new family would be a handful.

 _Family_

Alistair took her hands in his when Eliisa made it down the aisle peacefully. Eamon continued to lecture and explain how the ceremony was going to proceed. Lots of talking, prayers to the maker, vows, rope tying, and kissing. Alistair swallowed. That had become rather, normal, for them over the past three months since his coronation, but it still made him nervous each time he touched his lips to hers. It gave his stomach all sorts of butterflies in excitement, but also incredibly and ridiculously nervous.

 _How am I supposed to have a child with this woman if I can barely handle kissing her?_

Of course, he wasn't exactly sure how they were supposed to have a child in the first place. The taint in their blood practically made them sterile, not that that mattered when Morrigan had a say in it. She's supposedly running around with his bastard inside her. He sighed sadly, after the battle with the Archdemon, when he had made sure Eliisa was not dead, he had asked her if Morrigan had left her with anything to help _her_. Eliisa teased him and said she was surprised at his eagerness. In his embarrassment, he completely forgot his original line of questioning.

Eventually, Eliisa told him they would cross that bridge when they came to it, but it was always in the back of his mind. What if she never has a child? What would happen to them, to Ferelden? He prayed that no one would want to toss her aside as Eamon had tried with Anora and Cailan. Despite her encouragement and words saying he was doing very well as King, that all their studying and his wanting to learn more about governing and ruling had been working well for him, he wasn't sure he could rule without her.

He felt an elbow into his side and winced. He looked accusingly at Eliisa and she simply shifted her eyes over to Eamon. He sighed at his uncle's lecturing. This was going to be a long day.

"How are you feeling," he heard Teagan's voice call to him from beyond his bedroom door.

"Like my stomach is trying to claw its way out," Alistair grumbled as he pulled on his coat.

"That's actually pretty normal," Teagan laughed and entered the room. Alistair grunted in response and continued to pull his clothing on. Coat: check, pants: check, boots: check, coronation ring: check, cloak: check, and of course his crown: check. He honestly felt ridiculous, and hadn't looked so fancy in his life.

"How is she?" Alistair asked when he was finished dressing himself.

"I haven't asked," Teagan led him down the hall "Fergus has been close by her all morning, though, so I'm sure she's fine."

"Do you think that she," Alistair stopped himself from finishing the sentence, slightly embarrassed by his train of thought.

"That she is as nervous as you? I'd say so," Teagan laughed "Don't worry Alistair, this part will be over soon," he gave him a sly grin. Why do people keep looking at him like that?

"I hope so, I can't take this…waiting, anymore." he groaned and continued ahead of Teagan. Trying to get his destination quickly.

Of course he was nervous.

It was his wedding day, after all.


	5. Bride Pt 1

"My lady please," Deirdre pleaded with Eliisa, her handmaiden desperately shaking her. "Lady Eliisa!" Lady snorted at her mistress, sitting up from her pillows on the ground. Eliisa groaned and curled further into the blankets with a content smile, they were so warm and cozy. She would never say she missed sleeping on the cold ground, with barely anything to keep her warm. The knock on the door caused her to scrunch her eyebrows.

"She still in bed?" her brother's teasing voice sang from the hallway "I got her, Deirdre, wait by the door." She heard his footsteps draw closer to her, on the side of the bed "Now, sister, you've got this one chance before Lady and I here get you up." Eliisa snorted and turned away from him. "Ok, you asked for it. Lady, up." And in moments, she was dog piled by her own dog, who barked quite proudly.

"Fergus!" she screeched and just laughed at her "Lady, get off!" Lady barked again happily at her mistresses floundering.

"It's your own damn fault, you're going to be late to your own wedding." Eliisa's eyes shot open in a panic. Maker, that is _today_.

"What?!" she pushed Lady off and Deirdre rushed over immediately trying to straighten up Eliisa's mess of everything.

"If you don't get up, you're going to be late to your-,"

"Rhetorical!" she whipped around at him "Makers balls, I can't believe I slept in! What time is it?"

"Almost midday."

" _What?!_ " she ran around gathering her things, trying to help Deirdre, completely making it worse, but Deirdre taking it stride.

"It's almost-"

"Fergus, I swear to the Maker I will throw you out my window." He chortled.

"Of course, sister." he grabbed her by the shoulders "Breathe." Eliisa took a breath "There, now we'll get you some more handmaidens," Deirdre scoffed at him, "who Deirdre will tell what to do," he laughed "and someone will bring you food, now calm down. Your friend Leliana asked me to find her when you woke up, so how about I go fetch her and you relax? Eliisa visibly relaxed hearing that Leliana would be here to help.

 _Maker bless Leliana._

"Okay, yes, of course." Sitting on her bed bench she ran her fingers through her hair, trying to calm her fast beating heart. She looked up at Fergus when he placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

"Smile, Eliisa, it's your wedding day." she huffed with a small smile and watched him walk away and out of her room.

"Didn't you use to say how much you missed bathing in steamy water with all sorts of soaps and perfumes?" Eliisa groaned at Leliana's teasing voice. She had brought many different scented perfumes and soaps from Orlais and urged Eliisa to use them.

"I'm marrying _Alistair_ , not Empress Celene, I think he'd be fine with my wet dog smell."

"Eliisa!" Leliana chastised and added a vanilla scent to the tub of hot water "First of all, you don't smell like wet dog, well not since we stopped traveling," she smirked at Eliisa "And second of all, this is a big occasion, songs will be sung about this-,"

"And they're going sing songs about how I smell of chamomile and vanilla?" Eliisa relaxed when Deirdre lathered up soap, lavender scented of course, and started washing her hair.

"They might."

 _Great_

"My lady," Deirdre spoke up after some silence "You can leave the bath now. We need to start dressing you." She helped Eliisa out of the tub and another handmaiden brought her a robe.

 _Caitlín, Cairín, or was it Cailín?_

The second new handmaiden, Nessa, brought forth two thin chemises and Eliisa flushed. Leliana's giggles didn't help.

"Come now Eliisa, no need to flush like that, it's _just_ lingerie. Your lovely ladies brought you very pretty ones, too."

"Oh they weren't brought for _me._ " She muttered her embarrassment deepening as she thought about _that_. Leliana chuckled.

"He won't know what to do with you."

" _I_ won't know what to do with me _or_ him." Eliisa brought her hands to her face, ignoring the ever present question of what lingerie to choose from for her soon to be husband's enjoyment.

"My lady, we need to start dressing you." Deirdre repeated. Eliisa knew there was a reason she liked Deirdre, always on task.

"Here maybe this will help. I brought something for you, consider it a wedding present." She swore Leliana was teasing her more until she produced a box, undoubtedly for clothing. "I saw it in Val Royaeux and immediately thought of how dear it would look on you!" Eliisa raised a brow at her and opened the box, her flush spreading down to her toes.

"It's…lacy" it was _something._ Sighing she nodded to her handmaidens to help her put it on. "Thank you, Leliana," she said softly behind her blushing.

"You're quite welcome, now let's see about that hair."

"It's about relaxation and preparation." Wynne lectured Eliisa from behind her. Eliisa's sat at her vanity with her hands in her face.

 _Maker kill me._

"Wynne is right, 'Liisa." Leliana smiled from her side "It doesn't have to be awkward, it can be a delightful experience. You just need to let go and relax." Eliisa looked up

"You are both aware of _who_ I am going to be doing this with, right? I-it's," _Alistair_ she buried her face back in her hands. Every time she thought about being that intimate with Alistair she wanted to hide away. There was a line there that she didn't want to cross. She knew she had to, but this was harder to wrap her head around, than she initially thought.

"It's just sex." Wynne spoke up in her grandmotherly voice, making everything that much more uncomfortable.

"And if it changes everything between me and Alistair? What then? I don't want to lose the friendship we have, I don't-" she sighed cutting herself off.

"It doesn't have to mean anything, or it can mean everything. It can be there for stress relief, for making children, or bring two people closer together." Leliana offered "And the two of you share a bond forged by the tragedies you endured together, if after everything you've been through, _we've_ all been through, couldn't change or break it, this won't either. Have confidence in yourself, my friend, the relationship you both already share for one another will not suddenly fade the moment he-,"

"Stopstopstop," Eliisa's ears were burning and she heard them both give a chuckle at her "I think," she sighed "I think I would like a moment alone, to collect my thoughts," she smiled properly "Thank you both, really."

When they left with her handmaidens, Eliisa collapsed on her bed bench, her head back in her hands. Part of her was starting to regret her decision to do this, she could've stayed with the wardens, they had made her Warden Commander after all, or she could've braved out Highever until she finally became numb to that pain. What would happen if she ran away now? Go somewhere where no one knew her name. She wondered if Isabela was still in Denerim. Doubtful. She stood up and paced around the room, her blue and green dress trailing behind her.

 _The window isn't very far from the ground, I just need to get out of the dress and-_

There was a knock on the door, some exclamations and a nervous laugh. Pausing in shock when she recognized the laugh.

"Your majesty you can't! It's not appropriate to see her ladyship before the wedding." Deirdre scolded from beyond her door. Eliisa smiled at his laugh and was suddenly filled with shame. How could she even think of doing such a cruel thing to him? Leaving him like this, when his whole life he was told he wasn't wanted. _No_ she wouldn't, couldn't do it to him. She made a promise to him, to always be there, to support him, to be his family, when no one else would.

"Look," the door opened to reveal Alistair with his hand over his eyes and goofy grin on his face. "I can't see her, so it doesn't count!" Eliisa laughed at him and nodded to Deirdre who gave her a _look_ (she really did like this woman) and curtsied before closing the door.

"What are you doing here, Alistair?" Eliisa asked not hiding her amusement.

"Teagan gave me a moment to escape from Eamon, so I thought I might check on how you were doing." She took in his appearance and smiled softly. He looked handsome. Fancy, but handsome. His doublet was made of __heavy red brocade fabric and gold buttons, the trim around the buttons and sleeves matching her own, the Cousland laurel wrapping around the Theirin heraldry. Dark leather pants, belt, and boots completing the look. No gloves, of course. He looked good, almost as good as he did in the blue and silver Grey Warden arms.

"Check on me?" she finally laughed out.

"You know, just in case you got cold feet," her stomach froze and tried to force a laugh "or if you slept until midday only to have your mabari jump on you."

"Oh, I'm going to kill Fergus." She huffed and crossed her arms. Her heart warmed with his toothy grin "Your arm has to be getting tired," she mumbled.

"Ah ah! Can't break tradition, bad luck to see the blushing bride before she walks down the aisle." She laughed at him reaching out to her. Eliisa placed her hand in Alistair's, squeezing softly before he kissed her knuckles "Well, I'm sure you look beautiful," he muttered against their hands.

"You don't look half-bad yourself, your majesty."

"Come on," he groaned "We're about to have that thrown at us for the rest of the day, at least call me by my name." Alistair released her hand from his with a sigh "I also wanted to make sure, that…you want this."

"I want what? To look beautiful?"

"Eliisa," he whined and she smiled softly

"I made you promise didn't I, Alistair?" she spun him slowly before gently pushing him forward "It's happening, for better or for worse" she giggled.

"Well as long as you don't leave me at the altar…" he trailed off.

"I won't. Now shoo, before Eamon comes looking for you and finds his way to _me_."

"Anything to spare my bride of that punishment…"

"Mother would be so proud of you." Fergus' watery voice broke Eliisa's thoughts "They both would, pup."

"I wish they were here." Eliisa whispered looking at the great wooden doors. After Alistair had left her, Deirdre of course scolding him for trying to cheat and look at his bride, Eliisa had sat in front of her vanity just, staring.

It shouldn't have been Wynne and Leliana giving her advice for her wedding night, it should have been mother. Leliana shouldn't have teased and helped her with lingerie, it should've been Oriana. Mother should have helped her into the dress, shooing away Alistair when he came in to check on her. Oriana would have done her hair, placing ribbons, lavender, and jasmine flowers within her crown braids. Mother would be gushing about grandchildren and how her baby girl was to be _queen_. Her stomach clenched in grief.

"They are here," Fergus responded "You know in spirit, in our hearts, that sort of thing." He grumbled and she smiled leaning on her brothers arm "Are you ready?" she snorted.

"Hardly, but-"

"A Cousland always does their duty?" he offered.

"Something like that." she laughed, gripping the fabric of her sleeve in her hands wrinkling it slightly, something that Deirdre had already lectured her about. She was right of course, Maker knows how much time, effort, and money went into this dress. Her elaborate velvet gown was ocean blue with emerald green and gold embroidery of laurels and vines wrapping around dogs. A flared layered skirt of velvet and embroidered organza gathered on the sides of her hips, leaving and panel of velvet down her chest and back. The velvet sleeves touched the floor and wrapped around her shoulders snuggly, leaving the tips of her shoulders and her collarbone bare. She loved the dress, and was disappointed that she would only wear it once.

"Here we go." Fergus sounded excited and like he was crying all at once. The doors creaked and butterflies flew frantically in her stomach. "Remember to walk _slowly_ , lest we face the wrath of the chancellor." She snorted opening her mouth to respond but quickly snapping it closed when the doors flung open for her.

She took a deep breath, and stepped down the stairs to the aisle. Fergus' arm in her own.

"3, 2, 1," he whispered lowly to her. Everyone stood, staring at her either joyfully or scrutinizing her. They walked, slowly of course, allowing each aisle to bow to her. Fergus sniffed "You know, I didn't think I'd be the one crying here." She tittered and raised her brows in a worried manner.

"You're just a softy." She whispered to him, meeting the end steps of the aisle. She winked at her groom who had stared at her with a stunned expression on his face the entire time she had been walking. She turned to Fergus and who smiled proudly at her, through is already tear stained cheeks.

"I love you, little sister." She swallowed, tears forming in her eyes, blinking them away quickly.

"I love you too, big brother." He placed a kiss on her forehead and took her right hand, while Alistair took her left one, helping her up the steps on the right of where Alistair stood. She let go of Fergus' hand, letting him stand to her side, and placed it in Alistair's.

"Hey." he whispered, a sweet, contagious smile on his face.

"Hi."

"You look-," he was cut off by the revered mother clearing her throat and starting the ceremony. They both rolled their eyes at her and chuckled at each other, before listening to the mother's speech and blessings. Something about commitment, love, fruitful and fertility. She didn't notice Alistair reddened at that particular blessing because she was so lost in her thoughts.

 _Maker_ she prayed _Please don't make this difficult on us. I know it's selfish, but please don't make us go through more pain._

Her Reverence motioned towards Eamon, who brought forth their rings for her blessing. They both had decided to have rings made for each other, saying that if anyone else had an opinion on them, they'd end up like their coronation rings. Big and bulky. The rings were identical, both had a knots that never broke and traditional runes woven into the steel and silver bands. The only difference was his larger than her own. They easily slipped on as they placed them on each other's fingers. Yes, she preferred these bands to the extravagant gold and ruby mess that Eamon had suggested to them previously.

Eliisa smiled at his shaking hands, lacing his fingers in hers. Alistair looked up at her, clearly nervous and looking like he was going to apologize for it. She rubbed her thumb over his and shook her head to say 'it's ok, I'm nervous too.' His slightly relieved expression told her that he understood. They each took a breath,

"You are blood of my blood, and bone of my bone.  
I give you my body, that we two might be one.  
I give you my spirit, `til our life shall be done.  
You cannot possess me for I belong to myself  
but while we both wish it, I give you that which is mine to give;

You cannot command me, for I am a free person  
but I shall serve you in those ways you require  
and the honeycomb will taste sweeter coming from my hand.  
I vow you the first cut of my meat, the first sip of my wine,  
from this day it shall only your name I cry out in the night  
and into your eyes that I smile each morning;

I shall be a shield for your back as you are for mine  
I pledge to you my living and dying, equally in your care,  
and tell no strangers our grievances.  
For our marriage is sacred between us and no stranger shall hear my grievance.  
Above and beyond this, I will cherish and honor you through this life  
and into the next."

They spoke the words smoothly and loudly for the court together. She could hear people whispering behind her, but she couldn't make out anything specific. The tension in her stomach starting to grow with each sound. She could hear Oghren's snicker and Zevran's chuckle and it calmed her down, slightly. She wanted to turn around and listen to what everyone was saying.

"Where is the ceremonial cord?" Her Reverence broke her thoughts with a start and she looked at Alistair who shook his head.

"Oh, she looks mad," Alistair whispered to her and Eliisa clenched her jaw grimacing slightly. "Who was supposed to keep it?"

"I thought it was Fergus." she whispered back hurriedly and they both turned to him who shrugged innocently. Eliisa glared at him.

 _What did he do?_

There was a bark at the back of the chantry and they both jumped. She looked straight forward, at Her Reverence, who had a particularly nasty look pointed towards her. She elbowed Alistair in the side as he tried to contain his sniggering. Not that it mattered, the court was laughing at the sight of her Mabari war hound proudly trotting down the aisle with their wedding cord worn around her neck.

"I'm going to kill him." She ground out menacingly, still not looking away from the revered mother. Alistair snorted and the mother sent him the nasty look, quickly shutting him up. Lady poked her in the leg, panting happily and her head cocking to the side with her mistress's distress. Fergus gave Eliisa a cheeky grin before taking the rope from the dog's neck and handing it away to the mother, not caring about the look she gave him. He attempted to call Lady away but she refused to move away from Eliisa's side, wagging her nub excitedly.

 _This is how I'm going to die. In front of all of Ferelden, in front of foreign dignitaries, in front of the Maker. I'm going to die on my wedding day._

Firmly grasping their hands together, the revered mother started wrapped the crimson and gold cord around their hands once, a little too tight for comfort. No doubt her way of chastising them for such an interruption. Eliisa looked up at Her Reverence when she cleared her throat at Fergus who happily walked in front of them. He looked like he was really trying not to laugh at her expression. She was glad she wasn't facing the crowd.

"If you all don't mind," he spoke to the court "I will give the traditional blessing that our parents received at their own wedding," he cleared his throat and loosened the cord slightly around their reddening hands. He began to completely wrap the cord around their joined hands.

"In times past it was believed that the human soul shared characteristics with all things divine. It is this belief which assigned virtues to the cardinal directions; East, South, West and North. It is in this tradition that a blessing is offered in support of this ceremony.

Blessed be this union with the gifts of the East.  
Communication of the heart, mind, and body  
Fresh beginnings with the rising of each Sun.  
the knowledge of the growth found in the sharing of silences.

Blessed be this union with the gifts of the South.  
Warmth of hearth and home  
the heat of the heart's passion  
the light created by both to illuminate the darkest of times.

Blessed be this union with the gifts of the West.  
The deep commitments of the lake  
the swift excitement of the river  
the refreshing cleansing of the rain  
the all-encompassing passion of the sea.

Blessed be this union with the gifts of the North  
Firm foundation on which to build  
Fertility of the fields to enrich your lives  
a stable home to which you may always return.

Each of these blessings emphasizes those things which will help you build a happy and successful union.  
Yet they are only tools.  
Tools which you must use together in order to create what you seek in this union."

Fergus finished his blessing and knotted the final bit, tying them together. He raised his brow at them expectantly.

"Well?" he smirked and few chuckles came from the crowd. She rolled her eyes with a smile, looking up at Alistair. She closed her eyes and his lips softly touched hers, tasting the mint on his breath, breathing in deeply as sandalwood and sage met her nose. Lady barked at Alistair and they broke away slowly, laughing. The court stood and cheered, their companions cheering the loudest, as per their duty. They were married. She took a calming breath and smiled. Now all that was left, was her coronation. Then they could leave this chantry and _eat_.

 _This is what I get for skipping breakfast and having an apple for lunch._

Fergus helped untie the cord so they could walk freely. He handed it back to Lady, who continued to wag her tail eagerly. Alistair kissed Eliisa's hand once before walking up the steps, next to the revered mother. Fergus moved behind her to her right side, hands behind his back and head bowed.

Eliisa kneeled on the ground, both knees hitting the not so comfy rug decorating the floor. She swore her stomach was very loudly growling, but the fact no one was reacting in any way meant that no one heard or they thought it was the dog.

 _Small miracles._

She eyed Alistair as he walked towards her, his own coronation robes in his hands. She bowed her head to him as he passed her by, placing the canopy over her shoulders, and leaving his hands on her shoulders. Her Reverence blessed her Queen Consort crown and coronation ring before blessing her with a successful reign and healthy heirs. She closed her eyes.

 _Please Maker, give us this one thing._

She felt the crown being placed upon her head and the revered mother anointing her. As per tradition, the consort of royalty had their own crown made, usually reflecting their previous family heraldry. The delicate silver coronet had a curling design with golden leaves and flowers with emerald's and rubies in the flowers. Her coronation ring was placed on her right ring finger. She almost grimaced at the sight of it. The ring consisted of an extended octagonal mixed-cut ruby in a gold setting, within a border of fourteen cushion-shaped diamonds. The gold shank is set with fourteen graduated rubies. Oh, how she hated this clunky ring.

The revered mother backed away from her, allowing Alistair to offer his hand and lift her up. Eliisa turned towards the crowd, holding their hands at chest level. Well, his chest level, it was at her eye level.

"It's my great pleasure," Alistair spoke in his "king voice" as she dubbed it. "To present to you, Queen Consort Eliisa Theirin Née Cousland, first of her name. My wife and your new queen." The court kneeled before her on one knee. She swallowed, she can see why Alistair was so jittery at his own coronation and his had been a bigger deal. He kissed her hand and offered his arm with a smile

"Shall we, my wife. I hear that the banquet has quite the spread." she grinned at him and took his arm. Lady finally standing up to trailed behind her as they took their first steps forward.

"Lead the way, my husband."

Eliisa made a most unladylike groan. They had to wait, until every guest was within the grand hall, to make their entrance. That means she still hasn't eaten, despite their walk around the square and back into the palace. Alistair laughed at her, rubbing her back in a comforting manner.

"It shouldn't be long now."

"You said that already." She whined "It's my wedding day, I feel like I should be able to eat the food that was made for me. Us. Whatever." She slouched.

"Someone should have eaten something other than an apple for lunch," he sang out and she glared up at him. "I don't know how you've been able to stand it all day," he said thoughtfully "You smell like cake." She smiled slightly self-conscious.

"Thank Leliana, for that." He looked at her curiously before rubbing her shoulders.

"Would you like me to ask how much longer?" she beamed up at him and he disappeared with a loud laugh.

"Ah, there you are, my dear warden." Her ears perked up to the familiar Antivian accent "Or should I say, my dear queen," he bowed and took her hand, kissing softly.

"Zevran," she giggled "No titles are necessary when we're not in public, you know that." He gave a devilish grin.

"And where, my dear, is your charming husband?"

"Finding out why we're being deprived of food." She muttered angrily.

"Ok, Eamon said that-Zevran!" Alistair came back with his eyebrow raised "Why aren't you in the great hall…?"

"I came to see the beautiful bride," Zevran smirked at him "You cannot think to keep this lovely creature to yourself, can you?" Alistair flushed and stuttered out some inaudible retort "However you are correct, I fear me being here is only stalling your dinner," he crossed his hand over his chest and bowed before walking away towards a different entrance into the hall. Alistair's flush remained when his gaze flitted over to her.

"What did he…say to you?" Eliisa raised a brow at him.

"Nothing," she shrugged "Just came to greet me and ask where you were. What did Eamon say?" she was curious about his sudden bashful demeanor. What in Thedas did those two talk about?

"Oh ah, that it should be soon, they're getting everyone ready to...watch us, and you know…" he trailed off rubbing the back of his neck. Eliisa took his arm in hers

"I see," she leaned on his arm "I don't know how much longer I can take this," she pouted. She felt his chest move with his chuckle and smiled.

 _Reaction achieved_

"Oh ah, I meant to tell you before, well, the ceremony but the Revered Mother cut me off and-"

"Alistair," she stopped his rambling softly.

"Ah, right sorry, I just wanted to say that you look incredible, Eliisa." She felt her neck warm and grinned thankfully up at him. "I never thought-,"

"Alright, you two," Alistair looked only mildly irritated with the interruption "Time to shine," Tegan pushed them slightly forward towards the opening doors.

"You ready?" Eliisa asked playfully

"Not really, but I think I'll be alright, with you by my side." She laughed and they walked through the doors together, arm-in-arm. The crowd clapped for the new couple as they moved towards the center of the ballroom floor.

"Ready to show off your dancing skills?" he grunted in response moving into position as the music started playing. "See look at that," she moved with him "not half bad."

"Sure, I bet every time I turn my back to the crowd they can finally let go of their laughter, they've been holding back." she snorted

"Don't be silly, Alistair," she grinned as couple starting to join them on the floor "Come on, it's no different than sword fighting."

"Maybe _your_ sword fighting, with your fancy longsword fencing. I was a Templar remember. Bash with shield, slash with sword." Her laughter rang through the hall, not bothering to say that longsword fencing was hardly fancy, as they glided along the floor. They continued to tease and reassure each other, not noticing when the song changed. She even forget her hunger for a moment.

Only for a moment, though. He had spun her around and she caught sight of the food being brought in. She grabbed his sleeve and tugged at him, dragging him along without another word, his laughter the only thing she could hear.

"Come, we have our table," he laughed and brought her to the high table where Fergus, Eamon, Tegan, Isolde, and Connor awaited them. She held an eye roll, now she had to wait to be fed and had to sit with people she didn't want to sit with. Fergus grinned at her and inclined his head towards Lady, who Oghren seemed to be challenging to a drinking competition.

Eliisa sighed, her shoulders sagging for a moment before watching Alistair take his seat, and her settling into hers quickly after. He leaned towards her, catching her cheek in a kiss before turned back to Tegan and laughing at whatever he had to say.

 _Food_

She sighed in relief, thanking the Maker above, specifically for the oysters brought in from the coast. She almost dug into her food before Eamon decided to make a speech of this very joyous occasion. She almost started crying from being denied her food once again. Of course both her brother and husband found it amusing, snickering at her misfortune. She heaved a sigh, she now had two lovable fools to live with for the rest of her life.

The thought comforted her, surprisingly. She looked to Alistair out of the corner of her eye, smiling gently as he pretended to pay attention to Eamon's speech. She took his hand in hers, kissing it softly, leaving a bright red stain on his knuckle. Eliisa found herself realizing she was never one to be affectionate towards people. Sure she enjoyed hugs and embraces, and she didn't mind when people were affectionate with her, if she knew them well enough. It's why Zevran's antics didn't bother her, or why it didn't take a long time to act like a couple hopelessly in love with each other with Alistair.

She pondered if Alistair was use to receiving such affection. Probably not, with the way he stiffened slightly anytime she was like this with him, she frowned. She understood his uneasiness, with him being unacquainted with such things. During the Blight they had gotten into a really nasty battle with a large group of Darkspawn. The ground had become temporarily separated during the attack but hadn't realized it. When they had taken down the last one, she had looked around triumphantly for Alistair, only to find he wasn't around.

Her heart almost stopped, thinking he was injured or worse, until she saw him, Zevran and Wynne walking up, looking muddy, sweaty and covered in Darkspawn blood. She had been so relieved she nearly knocked him to the ground when she ran over and hugged him tightly. She hadn't realized that he reacted as slowly as he did to her embrace because he wasn't use to getting such treatment. That no one had actually ever been so happy to see him they ran over to hug him. It broke her heart when she put the pieces together after he had told her about his life at Redcliffe.

"Everything okay?" he leaned over and whispered to her, still facing the crowd. She nodded with a smile, smudging away her lipstick stain on his hand.

"Yeah, I'm good." She whispered and lifted his cup with him, when Eamon called for a toast to the happy couple and their very fertile marriage. Her nose twitched embarrassed and took a large drink from her cup.

 _Right, that's tonight._

Eliisa let out a shaky breath before digging, elegantly of course, to her food. She probably shouldn't have taken such a large swig of her wine, she was already feeling the effects of intoxication due to her empty stomach. She could tell Fergus knew from their conversation and her slightly gigglier than usual. She was glad he found it as amusing as he did because otherwise she'd be wholly embarrassed.

The people came up to give their respects, including some ambassador of Empress Celene who was there to give her deepest regrets for not being able to attend such an event. Both she and Alistair shared a wry look before thanking the Orlesian man who looked like he wanted nothing better to do than to leave Ferelden immediately.

Fergus leaned over and whispered something about looking more like a newly wedded couple and gesturing to the ever watchful crowd. She nodded her thanks before elbowing Alistair and inclining her head the same way Fergus did. He looked towards them with a confused look on his face, not quite understanding her meaning he turned back to her with the same look. She chuckled, shaking her head before leaning over and kissing him softly. He made what sounded like an "oh I understand now" sound and cupped her cheek before pulling away.

"Words, 'Lis," she playfully glared at him before taking a napkin and wiping his lips

"Lipstick," she grinned at the way he rolled his eyes

"I can do that myself," he murmured, taking her hand in his, not letting go for the rest of the festivities. Not as they cut the whiskey cake together with Zevran's dagger (he assured Alistair that it was indeed not poisoned) or when she found the chocolate and he the cheese, not when they went to talk to their companions who gave them hearty congratulations, with exception of Sten who had sent her a letter saying he would not be coming, she figured that was his way of saying he regretted not going. They didn't let go when others tried to dance with them, ushering them away stating they only wanted to dance with each other for the night. They made sure to not let go when they "snuck" away from the party, down the hall, up to Alistair's bedroom.

Their hands broke when they finally stepped inside and closed the door behind them.


	6. Bride Pt 2 (NSFW)

It was silent for a moment. A long, awkward moment before Alistair looked at Eliisa and asked,

"So, what side of the bed do you sleep on?"

Eliisa blinked. She blinked again.

 _Did he just?_

"What?" she asked dumbly. Surely he isn't just going to go straight to bed, on their wedding night? They had…work to do. Didn't they?

"Side of the bed," he repeated and points at his, no, _their_ , bed. "I assume you have a side you sleep on, unless of course, you sleep in the middle that could cause some issues." He started rambling, no doubt due to nerves. Eliisa breathed a small sigh of relief and gave him a weak smile.

"Alistair," she called and he turned to look at her, "I don't think that's exactly what we're supposed to be discussing, currently."

 _Maker take me now._

"Yes, well, ah," he cleared his throat, "Look, 'Lis," he walked over to her and took her hands in hers, "We're not going to do anything you're not comfortable with, we can go to bed now, sleep on it, and discuss it later."

"But the-"

"I know," he cut her off. She bit her lip when he placed a strand of misplaced hair behind her ear "But we have all the time in the world" _liar_ "We're married remember, we can take all the time we have and wait until you're completely comfortable with this." She closed her eyes when he kissed her forehead and started to move back towards the bed. He stopped short when she held him in place.

 _What am I doing?_

She had been afraid of this moment for the past few days. When Leliana came to her to give her enthusiastic advice, when her handmaidens prompted her to pick out lingerie to please the king, when the prayers and blessings of a fruitful and fertile marriage were given to her. So why is it, standing in front of Alistair, her best friend, her husband, she was no longer afraid? Was it because of his words? Was it because of who he is? She didn't know, and she wasn't confident enough to say why or what was going on through her head. She reached up to cup his cheek and smile softly at him.

"I'm a lucky woman," she finally spoke, her tongue heavy and her stomach twisting in anticipation "to have a husband who cares for me in such a way." She leaned up and kissed him softly.

 _Leliana said leave yourself behind when it came to the bedroom, didn't she? Don't complicate things. Just relax, we're just people. People about to have sex. I'm just a woman. He's just a man. A very attractive man. Maker help me._

The kiss was slow and chaste at first. She slid her other hand around his neck while his own hands embraced her from the small of her back. She felt heat rise in her cheeks when he raised one of his hands to tilt her chin and slide his tongue against her own. It was all new to her. Not kissing of course, but kissing _him_. She was suddenly regretting never talking to him about this night. They really should have talked about it before they threw themselves at each other. Her thoughts were starting to become hazy as the kiss became deeper and more intense. She had no idea that Alistair would be this good at kissing. When he pulled away she almost teased him about it.

"Are you sure?" he voice was quiet and unsure. He looked so vulnerable, she hadn't even considered that _he_ might be uncomfortable about it. She should have figured he would be, after Morrigan's ritual.

 _Lady Cousland, using her head? Perish the thought._

The way he looked at her though, it was different, intimidating, almost. He _was_ sure of what he wanted. He was comfortable with this and right now he was nervous about _her_ reaction, her decision to proceed or stop this. She watched him walk towards the bed and recline on the left side, his back to the headboard. Did he take her silence as a 'no?' As he opened his mouth to say something to her, Eliisa reached around and undid the buttons of her dress between shoulder blades, loosening the blue fabric around her shoulders.

She enjoyed the way he immediately clamped his mouth and swallowed when she pulled her sleeves down, leaving her arms and shoulders bare. She wondered briefly if she should relish his reaction as she did, but continued to undo the buttons on her back, until her torso was free of the fabric. She tucked her thumbs on the sides of her hips and loosened her layered skirts. They fell quite easily and she snorted at how much time she spent getting into the dress versus taking it off. Her heels softly clicked on the ground as she stepped away from her wedding dress, almost fully naked. Her tan skin contrasted deeply with the soft pink of her lingerie ensemble that Leliana swore would leave anybody speechless. There was only one person that she needed to leave speechless at the moment, though.

 _And it seems to have worked._

She kicked off her shoes as she stalked towards him, careful not to slide around on the hard floor in her stockings. Her breasts moved tightly against her chest with each breath, due to her corset. She was sure she looked ridiculous. Or Orlesian. They're were pretty much the same thing, anyway. She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't become aware she had climbed onto the bed and straddled her red faced husband. That is, until his hands were on her hips, gripping them softly. She gave him a brief eyebrow raise before kissing him again, this time, she didn't bother with being chaste.

Eliisa had always been aware of how attractive Alistair was, but she never paid it any mind. She had a brief crush on him during their travels, but between all of the battles, violence, loss, and heartache, she had forgotten about it and became focused on their survival. It was what she was telling herself at the moment to explain the way she desired him. She broke the kiss abruptly, his look of longing and confusion making her flush both in excitement and anxiousness, and took his bottom lip between her teeth pulling softly.

"I'm sure, Alistair," she stated, barely recognizing her voice. It was filled with need and lust for her partner, and was glad that his eyes reflected the same emotions that her voice was so keen on exposing. She took his coronet and practically tossed it on the other side of the bed "Is my king sure this is what he wants?"

She found herself enjoying his reactions, again. The way his breathing became deeper, the flush of his cheeks spreading to his pale neck and shoulders, as she slowly unbuttoned his cloak, revealing his loose undershirt. He let out a huff of laughter and her brought face to his, gently kissing her again. That was the answer she needed.

It was strange, she had to admit. She personally never saw herself in this position, let alone with Alistair. It's not as if she never desired anyone before, and she found many men and women throughout her life attractive. She had always resigned herself to not marrying because she never actually thought she would find someone who wanted her not her title, despite her wishes and fantasies (and mother's urging). She was quite the hopeless romantic when it came down to it, it was ironic that she ended up marrying because of her position.

Eliisa was still nervous nonetheless. She knew how to satisfy herself of course, but beyond that she wasn't sure. She had very little knowledge on what she's supposed to do in this sort of situation, just prayed that it would work out. Leliana and Zevran had tried to advise her before, and she did her best to listen to her…lessons. It was just so embarrassing and it made her think of when mother had first talked to her about the subject. Her stomach was in knots and she was sure that if her lips weren't so preoccupied, they would be stuck between her teeth and chewing on them in apprehension.

She slid his jacket from his shoulders and broke the kiss to practically rip his shirt from his chest. Whether out of eagerness or nervousness she didn't know, but the result was the same. Alistair was now topless. She smiled, amused at the way his flush spread down his body. It honestly felt good to know he was as nervous and awkward as she was. She took in the sight of him, the light of the candles reflecting and warming his skin, the freckles on his shoulders, the way his chest hair made its way down his torso, to his toned stomach and then hid away behind his pants.

She brought her hands from his neck and traced his scar, from the werewolf bite, lightly. It still looked bad, and her gut clenched in sorrow. She never wanted to come that close to losing him ever again. She leaned down and kissed the marks, leaving red lipstick stains behind. She wasn't sure where this boldness was coming from, but she was glad it was there. She'd rather be bold than a bundle of nerves.

This wasn't the first time she had seen Alistair without a shirt. She had brought him with her to the Temple of Sacred Ashes _so_ , she's actuallyseen him naked. However, she was so amused with how embarrassed he was, she didn't even think to look at him. He was covering his eyes with one hand and then himself with the other, she ended up laughing and having to lead him through the fire by the hand, telling him he can just close his eyes. The first time she actually saw him shirtless was far less amusing. To her, at least.

Leliana, Shale and herself had been scouting the around the camp site for threats. The rest of the party had been setting up camp and Alistair had offered to get fire wood and chop any log he could find to make a proper fire. She had expected him to get hot and sweaty, she didn't expect him to take off his shirt. So when she first saw the sight while walking back to camp, she was…enthralled. She didn't hear Leliana call her name right as she smacked into a low hanging branch. She laid on the ground, completely flushed, and realized what had just happened. She acted like some star struck teen that had never seen someone without their shirt on. To make matters worse Alistair had rushed over to check to see if she was alright. Shale said that she was "distracted" and Eliisa covered her face with her hands. Leliana quickly changed the subject, to save her from the embarrassment of admitting that she had been enamored with her half-dressed friend.

And now, nearly a year later, Eliisa was on top of him, with barely anything on herself. If she was thinking about anything but their current activities, she would've laughed at where they ended up. All she could think about however, was the sensation of her lips on his skin, the desire building in her stomach, and his tight grip on her hips. She was really thankful for Leliana's advice of just letting go and trying to relax. There was definitely a thank you note and a box of chocolates going to be sent to her.

She kissed up his neck, nipping softly at his adam's apple. She suddenly found the way his facial hair rubbed against her lips enjoyable, she'd have to find a way to convince him to keep it without coming out and saying she liked the way it felt. Her mind wondered briefly to where else it would feel good but quickly returned to her task at hand. Gasping when he took her bottom lip into his mouth and slid his hands up on her backside, moving her to sit in a more comfortable position. The friction causing her to give a soft grunt as the hardness of his erection rubbed against her. She felt his smirk against her lips, enjoying this new information she had given him.

She deepened the kiss when she felt his quip coming and rotated her hips against him, smirking at his pleased groan. She ran her fingers through his ginger chest hair, finding she liked the feeling (and the look) of it, almost as much as his grip on her ass. It was getting harder to breath, not just with her arousal and their entwined tongues, but also the tightness of corset. It needed to be off. Their grinding slowed and she suddenly became very aware that she was going to be naked. Her boldness was gone and her lips hovered above his, swallowing nervously. She felt winded and the urge to break free of her constraint was almost as strong as her remembered self-consciousness.

He noticed her breathing and looked down at her corset. He had the same look on his face that he got when he was thinking about something difficult. She arched her back slightly as he slowly slid his hands up her sides, across to her back where the corset was tied. He blinked and fumbled a bit.

"Eliisa," she blinked at his confused expression "Eliisa, I have no idea what to do with this." Her eyes widened a bit before laughing. She grinned at his pout and kissed him softly, which seemed to help his embarrassment of not being able to take off his wife's underwear.

"I'm not surprised," she brought his hands up her back to a specific ribbon "I had trouble getting it on, had to have two handmaidens help me into it," she laughed at his incredulous look. "Leliana bought it for me in Val Royaeux, said she saw it and thought of me immediately."

"Are you telling me you've been seducing me with Orlesian underwear?" he raised his brow at her as he slowly undid the binding and laces holding it all together, but it was already becoming easier to breathe.

"Mmm, something like that," she tried to hide how his accusation of seducing him caused her to blush. Despite the fact, she was in fact seducing him and his erection was still very much pressed against her in a very pleasing way.

"All the more reason to get rid of this," he muttered and lifted the article away from her body, leaving her garter belt, panties and stockings behind. She felt herself wanting to shrink away from his gaze, her lip was in her teeth again, fighting the urge to cover herself up. Goosebumps rose where is rough hands touched her stomach, up her diaphragm, between her breasts and stopping at her neck "Makers breath, Eliisa," he cursed, flushing again but with a boyish grin his face.

She gave him a small but unsure smile. She was never a fan of her own body, and her travels during the Blight only caused her to become more insecure. Stretch marks on her hips and thighs along with scars across her stomach, chest, and collarbone marred her body, only made her want to hide it away more. She thought briefly to Morrigan and closed her eyes. Her friend was a beautiful woman and she doubted that the mage had the same scars and stretch marks she wore. Eliisa was starting to become more timid by the moment, something in the back of her mind telling her she was now competing against the golden eyed woman. She felt him give a nervous chuckle beneath her.

"Now, I really don't know what to do," he whispered tracing her sides, the curve of her ribs, back down to her hips, "You're beautiful." he quickly placed his mouth on hers when she tried to protest. His hands gently finding themselves caressing every scar, every mark, every imperfection she saw in herself. Her breathing became labored when his lips found her throat. Eliisa rolled her hips against him again, the fire in her lower belly growing larger.

He responded in kind, grinding his hips at the speed she set, never assuming or going a step ahead. She lazily closed her eyes as he kissed down her collarbone, lifting her higher on her knees as he kissed in-between her breasts. The cool air brushed against her now soaked tanga's causing her to shiver and her nipples to perk up. She wanted to settle back down on him, missing the warmth of his body under hers.

Alistair hummed against her breasts and flicked his tongue over one of newly hardened nipples, causing her to freeze briefly. She let out a relaxed sigh when he fully took the nipple into his mouth gently, the warmth of his tongue circling the nipple was an incredibly amazing new feeling. He brought up his hand to her other breast and massaged in his palm. In response, she brought her fingers into his hair and arched her back. Eliisa wasn't sure what she expected of him, maybe for him to fumble around a bit more, maybe some bad jokes, but she didn't expect him to be so focused on her and her pleasure. When she thought about it though, it made sense for him to. He always tried to go with the flow and please the people around him. Of course Alistair would carry that mentality here. Smirking she let out a breathy giggle.

"Thought you said you didn't know what to do," Eliisa breathed out "Been practicing without me?" she groaned when he nipped her sensitive skin. She teased to cut the tension she felt, she knew that he understood that. That no matter how much they were losing themselves in each other, there was still that bronto in the room saying that this was a fine line that they were crossing. She knew things would be different now, they already were. It caused her to worry for the sake of their friendship, she didn't want to lose what they had. Despite Leliana and Zevran (heck, even Wynne) saying that it wouldn't change anything, that it was _just_ _sex_ , she knew she and her husband thought differently. Things were changing and she wasn't sure she was ready for that change, yet.

"Mmm," he brought her back to sit on him again, "You know I wouldn't do something like that, 'Lis." She smiled into his tender kiss. He didn't have to be so dedicated to her, she knew that he could wander off when he chose to. Plenty of women and men would be happy to find him in their bed. He didn't swear his vows to her until just hours ago, he didn't-

"A-Al, what are you-" she was brought out of her thoughts when he spun her around and put her back flush against his chest. His breath tickling her ear made her shudder.

"We've officially reached the point where you need to…show me, what you want," he responded slowly, wrapping his well-toned freckled arms around her middle, bringing her closer to him. Her nipples became pert again when she realized exactly what he was asking. She felt him remove her crown from her head and place it on the nightstand "This can't be comfortable," he whispered undoing her braids. She laughed and relaxed against him as her hair came undone and spilled over her shoulders. The flowers and ribbons in her hair falling out as Alistair combed his fingers through it and then brushed the items off the bed.

"Show you, huh?" Eliisa tried to sound playful, but with her voice shaking, she doubted he could hear the playfulness. She took a deep breath, breathing in the faded scent of sandalwood in his hair and body. He gave a grunt of acknowledgement.

"We can stop," Alistair brought his lips her ear, pressing them against her lobe. "Whenever you want to, my queen." She swore if her heart would beat any faster it would burst from her chest. His demeanor was killing her. He seemed to so confident in his actions and it only served to turn her on more. She shifted and relaxed between his legs and bent her knees up.

"No," she said firmly. Yes, she was nervous and she had never ever had someone ask her to do _this_ for them, but deep inside her mind, she wanted to show him. If they had been lovers they would have learned about each other's bodies at their own pace through a relationship, like romantic couples should. But they weren't and they were never intimate. So now they had to learn everything they could, now. Eliisa ignored the fear of acknowledging that she wanted this and him and exhaled. "What do you want me to do?" she knew the answer of course, but asking him was far more enjoyable to her.

Alistair didn't answer and ran his hands over her flat stomach. His lips felt hot on her neck, peppering kisses anywhere he could reach, and she starting to sink in to the feeling, quickly forgetting why they had stopped enjoying themselves in the first place. Eliisa let out a small breath when he took her right hand in his, running it down her body. Now this, she didn't expect. She figured he would watch her, not shadow her movements. She preferred his idea, entirely. She finally felt how wet she actually was when she parted her lips and brushed her clit, immediately showing him what she wanted.

His left hand was occupied with unhooking her stockings from her garter belt that seemed so constricting at the moment. Her left leg at least, their right hands were busy at the moment and she wasn't going to complain. She ground against their hands and it felt like she was on fire. Leaning her head back on his shoulder she hummed softly and quickened her pace, she was completely in bliss.

Alistair's turned her cheek to catch her in a proper kiss and then removed her hand from herself. She bucked against his hand when it returned to her, moaning at the way his calloused fingers felt against her. Before she could enjoy herself completely she unhooked the right stocking from the belt and pulled down the soaking piece of cloth restricting her husband's movements. She moaned into his mouth before he smirked and pulled away.

Eliisa felt his eyes watching her movements, her face, as he slowly circled her clit. He figured her out so quickly, now he would enjoy every minute of it. She half glared at him.

"Don't you," she closed her eyes and buried her face in his neck "Don't you tease me, husband." He laughed at her and took a nipple between his fingers of his free hand, squeezing softly.

"Tease you, dear wife, why would you even think I would do such a thing." she moved her hips with the pace of his hand and bit his neck gently. Eliisa had a good comeback in her throat but she could honestly care less at the moment. Her legs were trembling and the pressure his hand was causing her was too much. She came, softly moaning against his neck, her body shaking and tight. She let out a breath she had no idea she had been holding and relaxed.

"I hope that was as educational as it was entertaining," she grinned at his whole hearted laugh.

"It was, if I say so myself" he kissed her cheek shifting for her to lay against the pillows. He slid her silken undergarment completely off her body, only leaving her stockings and garter belt. She promptly threw the belt on the ground on the ground.

"One of us is completely overdressed," she raised her brow at him.

"My queen is wise as she is beautiful," he grinned at her and started removing her stockings.

"Alistair," she laughed

"Yeees?"

"That's not what I meant," she lightheartedly smacked his hand away "Come," she grabbed his wrist and pulled him over her. Oh, but she wanted the savor the look on his face. The confidence he had was gone and her sweet, nervous Alistair was back. Could she call him 'hers' now? "I can't be the only one in the nude here." She kissed his red neck as he tried to stutter a reply back.

She rubbed down his chest, caressing his stomach, his arms we're shaking slightly and she watched his throat as he swallowed.

"We can stop, Alistair," she whispered "Whenever you want." She worried again, about his memories with Morrigan, that maybe they were playing over to in his mind. She brought her fingers to his lips and traced them, she gave him a soft smile when he kissed the tips of them.

"No," he balanced on one arm and took her hand in his own lacing their fingers together "I want this," he admitted causing her to blush and his eyes to widen "I-I mean-" her lips were on his, cutting him off. Pulling him further down onto her she smirked at the cute surprised noise that came from his throat.

 _He wants me._

It sparked something deep inside her. Alarm, adoration, apprehension, desire, she wasn't sure. And with the way his hips relaxed into her own and squeezed her hand, she wasn't sure she cared.

 _I want him._

Realizing this didn't shock her. She wondered what it would have been like if she had told him about her crush during those first few months. Where would they be now? She had time to think about it tomorrow morning, when Eamon bothered her at breakfast, while Lady ran around the castle causing the guards to panic and stumble, while her companions mercilessly teased her new husband about tonight.

She didn't stop the disappointed noise that bubbled in her throat when he broke the kiss and sat up on his knees between her legs. His gaze was burning into her with a nervous smile on his face. It was her turn to reassure him, she smiled sweetly up at him and leaned up.

"Relax, Alistair," she reclined against the pillows, her back pressing against them and the headboard. She smiled as he inched closer to her, between her spread legs. His closeness allowing her to unbuckle his belt, she raised a brow at him when he tensed. She stopped undressing him, opening her mouth to say _something_.

However, whatever she was going to say was lost now. He had quickly pushed himself on her, his lips roughly pressed against her and his thumb exploring her clit again. She groaned, he was distracting her, trying to gain more confidence for himself no doubt. She sharply took in a breath when his inserted a digit into her. He froze, stopping and looking at her concerned and taking the sweet finger from her.

"Nono," she grabbed his wrist with a breathy laugh "You didn't hurt me." She bit her lip flushing. It was the opposite of pain.

"Are you-"

" _Yes_." She breathed out and pulled him down to kiss him. This man would be the death of her, and she knew it. He, slowly, started to resume his previous ministrations. Testing her out, eagerly responding to her encouragement and urgings.

She took the opportunity of his very pleasingly busy hand, and continued to undress him. She threw the belt away, the metal hitting the ground with a soft clink. It was getting much harder to think now, as she tried to unlace his breeches.

"Boring you already am I?" she groaned when he added another finger, curling them against her.

"Ha," she breathed "No, just" she swallowed and gave him playful glare when he did it again. "I don't think I should be the, ah, only one enjoying myself." She bucked against him. Her hands were trembling against his laces, he was now successfully distracting her.

"And you think I'm not?" she flushed at his smirk.

"That is not what-" she trailed off arching her back, enjoying the way he fingers touched just the right spot. Between her determination and ecstasy she somehow managed to completely unlace his pants. That was as far she got though, and it made her partner laugh and kiss her brow, her cheek, the tip of her nose, and then her flushed lips. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and pulled him closer. Her inner walls clenched around him, this time, she didn't bother smothering her moan.

Eliisa recovered quickly and flipped him over so he was fully laying down. If was he going to play a game of distractions, it's only fair she played back, right? Her tongue went to his neck immediately. She enjoyed the way he tried to grind against her, the way his fingernails ran across her back in a pleasing way, and especially his labored breathing. She understood what Alistair meant when he said he was already enjoying himself. She kissed down his chest, biting him softly causing him to flinch.

"H-heeey," she giggled at him.

"Problem?" She continued her path down to his oh so tone stomach, licking around his belly button. When he didn't respond she smirked, scraping her teeth against his taut flesh gently. She lowered herself further, to his hips, her tongue teasing him just under his breeches. His groan sent shivers up her spine.

 _I want him._

She pulled down his breeches and smalls together in one swift movement, kissing his thigh when she was done. She blinked when she heard his snort. She smirked up at him, at his hand over his mouth as if trying to hide the noise he had made.

"Ooooh, is my king," she ran her fingers over his inner thigh, grinning at the way his body twitched "Is my king ticklish?" she grinned at his glare.

"Eliisa, don't you dare. Eliisa _no._ " she bit his thigh, extracting the most amusing giggle from him. She laughed at him attempting to stop her "That skin is _sensitive_ ," he whined.

 _Oh yes, your finely toned legs, sensitive got it, my dear_.

Her eyes widened at the endearment she mentally had given him. She didn't even have time to think on it before Alistair had pulled her back on top him. Caressing her backside he looked at her with a raised brow.

"That look on your face doesn't exactly inspire confidence, 'Lis." She gave him a curious look, not understanding what he meant.

 _Oh!_

"Wait no that is not what the look for, I can assure you." she giggled.

"Yes, your giggling helps, too." He pouted crossing his arms and blushing. She held back her laughter and his face only got redder.

"Oh, Alistair," she giggled and rubbed her nose against his own, "You have nothing to worry about," she kissed down his jaw, to his ear lobe, "or have you already forgotten what you've done to me" she took his lobe between her teeth, sucking gently, appreciating his very pleased groan. "You're a very handsome man, my husband." She whispered, kissing his ear one last time before lifting up above him, straddling his stomach. And Alistair was very handsome, it almost wasn't fair how attractive he was.

 _Especially compared to me._

How he could go from adorable in one second to sexy in another was a mystery to her. The glazed over lustful look in his eyes was a sight to behold. The clenching feeling in her lower belly was back, an already familiar desire building between her legs. He sat up, causing her to lift up on her knees, and held her by her lower back. Eliisa closed her eyes as lazy kisses her pressed against her chest. He was still hesitating, still worried she didn't want this. She smiled honestly and happily, counting herself lucky to have married someone who cared for her wellbeing as he did.

"Alistair," she whispered. He inclined his head to tell her he was listening, but didn't stop with his mouth and his maker blessed tongue. It was time to put the final nail in the coffin. She scrunched her nose, she'd think of a better metaphor later. "Alistair, I want this." She whispered, barely believing the words that she said so confidently.

She squeaked in surprised when he flipped their position again. Her long hair tumbled off the foot of the bed, his hands on her hips, lips on her forehead and his chest against her own. She took a deep breath and adjusted the angle of her hips, returning his uncertain smile.

 _Moment of truth._

She wondered why she had been told so many times that she was supposed to be in pain, at the moment. This was not pain, different yes, a little uncomfortable perhaps, but pain? No. She took a steady breath and relaxed completely against the bed, adjusting to him.

"Is this ok?" she looked up at his worried expression "I'm not…hurting you?" she smiled and shook her head.

"All good here," she giggled at his relieved expression. Continuing to giggle at his mutterings of 'getting this awkward part over with' and ''Lis stop laughing this supposed to be serious'. She couldn't help it, it _was_ awkward, adjusting their bodies together to be more comfortable. Her giggles turned into full laughter as they fumbled around. If she was honest, though, the laughing was mostly out of relief. Things are going far better than she had initially believed. She was enjoying herself.

Alistair gave a sharp sigh and kissed her in attempt to stop her giggles and she wrapped her arms around his middle. She tried to make a joke, but with the way he thrust into her, she instead let out a very pleased gasp. She could definitely get use to this. She rolled her hips, causing him to moan. Oh, she liked that sound, and her body didn't hide it. Despite his flushed face, he managed to smirk down at her.

"Your majesty," he kissed her neck, "I'm flattered." She arched her back when he sucked on the flesh, her walls pulsing around him with his slow thrusts. She laughed again, his lips and scruff tickling her in the most pleasing way. Wrapping her legs around his hips she attempted to speed up the process. By the smirk she felt against her neck, she knew he was clearly teasing her.

"You're such a tease," she bit his shoulder and he winced.

"Are we going to have to make a no biting rule?" she ran her tongue over her bite adoring his shudder.

"Too bad we didn't have that rule back in-,"

"Seriously, _now_?" Alistair stared at her with an incredibly exasperated look and she grinned cheekily. She didn't answer, moving her arms around his shoulder blades and brought him closer to her. She kissed him, deciding to let him have his last word. One hand digging into his back and the other found its way to his hair and pulled gently. Hips grinding against his own while fully captivated by his lips, she let out a relaxed sigh. This was quite an efficient stress relief. When she came and she let out something between a laugh and moan.

"Still laughing?" his husky voice brought her out of her slight haze.

"Mmm, I can assure you it's a very good thing," she whispered and pouted when he lifted his body away from her "Alistair where are you- _ah!_ " her very loud cry cut her off when he lifted her hips onto him and entered her again, from his kneeling position. Every thrust sending tingles of pleasure through her body, up to her hardened nipples. She clenched the sheets beneath her and curled her toes as he rolled and thrust into her. She felt his hand grasp hers and run it down her body. Confused at first she lifted her head only to relax in ecstasy when he brought her hand to her clit. Her fingers worked while his hips jerked against her, that feeling of bliss coming back full force. She came again, throwing her head back and body thrashing.

 _Ridiculous_

She let out a shaky breath and raised her brow at him. "You see quite pleased with yourself." she took another breath and laughed at his grin.

"Should I not be?" she answered him by sitting up and causing him to lose balance. He fell back, his tussled hair hitting the pillows.

"Perhaps you should be." Her lips found his own and she tested out grinding on top of him. He gripped her hips within that first grind, putting enough pressure down to let her know that he did indeed enjoy where this was going.

"Andraste preserve me, you're going to be the death of me." She smirked against lips and lifted up off him, the tip of his cock brushing her entrance, teasing him.

"Saying another woman's name in bed, my husband?" she nipped his ear. Alistair grunted and tightened his grip on her hips. She kissed up his cheek to his sweaty brow, leaving his already lipstick stained face with more to wash off.

"Emphasis on death of me," he rumbled and lifted his head up, catching her lips in his own gently. "And you called me a tease." She laughed pressing her lips roughly back over his own. She savored the way his arms were shaking, the way his hips would move just slightly causing him to give a both pleased and frustrated sigh. Before he could say another word, she crashed her body back down onto him, fully taking him into her. He cursed and threw his head back, wide eyed.

Eliisa brows knitted together as she slightly struggled to find her rhythm, grateful he didn't seem to care. His hands slid on her ass and squeezed, moving her exactly how he wanted. Her shallow breathing no doubt letting him know she was enjoying it as much as he was. They moved together, bucking, rolling, thrusting, and grinding against each other. She almost came as soon as his coarse thumb found her clit again, her nails digging into his toned arms.

"Makers breath, Alistair." she breathed out keeping his biceps in a tight grip. He brought his hand from her engorged clitoris and wrapped his arm around her back bringing her closer to him, kissing her deeply. She smirked when she felt his grip on her tighten and his breathing becoming labored. She released him from their kiss, showering soft kisses over his face before nuzzling her nose and forehead against his own. Finding herself tugging his hair and her hand on his face, she felt the way his face knotted just before he released, riding out his orgasm. His final thrust causing her to bite her lip in ecstasy as her walls pulsed a final time, before snuggling to him.

They were silent as she released his hair from her grip and rolled off to his right side, immediately lacing their fingers together and bringing them to her lips.

"The right side." Eliisa stated after a few moments, turning on her side to look at him.

"I-what?" he raised his brows in confusion and she smiled.

"I sleep on the right side." She grinned at his laugh of realization.

"Well, that's good," he wrapped his arms around her placing his face in her neck. "I was afraid this marriage wouldn't work out."

"Based on what side of the bed I sleep on?" she laughed out loud when he blew a raspberry on her collarbone.

"Mhmm, thankfully it worked out. Ferelden is saved, we have a queen, etcetera, etcetera." he mumbled against her slick with sweat neck. She grinned and shook her head, kissing the top of his own "Eliisa, was that…good for you?" his face may have been buried in her neck, but she could feel the heat radiating off his cheeks.

"Mmm," humming like she was thinking about it, his pout causing her to laugh, "Yes, Alistair, now quit giving me those big puppy eyes, I get that enough as it is." she laughed at the way he beamed.

"Are you calling me a puppy?"

"Nooo, of course not," she paused, trying to hide her snickering "You're the king puppy." She gave a most unladylike cackle as he began to tickle her sides, playfully trying to push him away. She felt stress and care free at the moment. It was good. They were good.

She smiled fully and nuzzled her face against his own, no longer afraid to cross that line with him.


	7. Husband (NSFW)

The crash of thunder is what woke Alistair. Thanks to his Templar training and always being on edge during the Blight, he was usually up right at dawn. It was something his council seemed to appreciate, made him look determined, he guessed. Apparently, his body decided differently today. He groaned, he was going to get an earful at breakfast from Eamon. He sat up and ran his fingers through his messy hair when he heard a murmur to his right. Looking over, he blushed profusely at his still very naked wife's back.

He watched Eliisa turn to him sleepily, curling to gain warmth because he had so clumsily taken the blankets from her. Her brows knitted together, grumbling as she felt around for the blankets.

"Alistair," she whined "Give them back." He chuckled at the victorious smile when she managed to pull them back over her chest.

"We should get out of bed soon," he cleared his voice and there was a flash of lightening "It's probably late."

"Ali _stair_ ," he raised his brow at her second whine "It's our honeymoon, you can afford to relax a little." He sighed through his nose.

"I-,"

"Good," he let out a surprised noise when she brought him down from his sitting position, her arm laying across his chest.

"Eamon is going to lecture you, 'Lis," he tried reasoning with her "And it's already getting…" he watched her sit up on her knees with an annoyed expression, his protest caught in his throat.

 _Maker's breath, she incredible._

The previous night's activities replayed in his mind and he blushed again. His heartbeat sped up when she stretched, the blankets falling from her, revealing her marvelous body. He wanted to see her in a trance because of his touch again, to feel her nails dig into his flesh, barely hanging on.

He ran his hand across her stomach and almost retracted it when she stiffened. He watched her face turn from annoyed to relaxed to that self-assured look she got when she knew she was about to outsmart someone. It was usually never directed at him.

"I don't suppose," she drawled, leaning over him "I could convince you to stay in bed." Her lips hovered over his, teasing him. He breathed out a chuckle, his blush still painting his cheeks.

"Are you trying to use your lady bits to manipulate me into ignoring my kingly duties?" he quipped up at her taking her chin in his fingers. Her smile turned playful and he kissed her upper lip.

"That depends," she giggled "Is it working?" he appreciated the sigh she gave him when he ran his fingers through her messy hair, scraping slightly with his nails. He kissed her again, deciding that talking was no longer an option for him.

 _Like a charm._

They were _supposed_ to go to breakfast with their important guests, mostly their companions and her brother, and then talk to Eamon about their tour around the country. He wasn't sure he could look Fergus in the eye at the moment, but _was_ sure that Oghren and Zevran wouldn't let him eat breakfast in peace because they'd be asking about last night. He was all for the distraction his new wife was offering.

He had been so anxious about last night. Zevran came to tease him about his lack of experience, but he also ended up giving him some…advice. Maker, it was embarrassing just thinking about it. He hadn't expected anything to happen last night, and was okay with it. His first "experience" with this sort of thing wasn't exactly something he wanted to remember. It left a bad taste in his mouth and he was worried that what happened with Morrigan would have ruined it for him, forever.

It was so different with Eliisa, though. She was his best friend, which of course was a whole other issue. Would this ruin them? Would it bring them closer together? She was so warm and careful, never going a step further than he wanted. When he had realized how badly he wanted her, he almost felt ashamed. Like he was taking something from her without giving anything back.

Alistair wasn't sure how he managed to get so lucky, but he prayed whoever was watching over him continued to do so. There were very few things that were quite as remarkable as this woman. He adored the way her fingers dug into and scratched at his shoulder blades, her panting, the way her legs shook right before she came. This beautiful, amazing woman was his wife. _His wife._

"We really should get up, I don't feel like dealing with Eamon's long lectures about appearances and decency." He muttered against her lips, sounding like he was trying to convince himself more than her.

"I think Ferelden can survive one day, Alistair." He grunted in agreement when she sucked his bottom lip.

They both snapped their heads towards the door when they heard shouting and footsteps.

Alistair sighed, about to get out of bed when the door burst open with Lady there, _eyeing_ him. She was followed by guards who took in the situation and had the decency to look away from their queen. He looked over to her and blinked, it still surprised him how could go from his Eliisa, to the high born lady she was raised to be in a single moment.

"Guards," she smiled sweetly at them holding the blanket against her body, they were wearing helmets so Alistair couldn't see if they were blushing or not. They probably were. "Would you mind closing the door, it's rather chilly." They stuttered out apologies, bowing and quickly left the two of them, sorry, the three of them alone. "Now, _you._ What do you think you're doing here, you big baby?" Eliisa scolded Lady, who didn't seem to care much. She was too busy glaring at Alistair.

"What did _I_ do?" he whined and leaned back against his pillow, covering his face with a hand.

"You did say she was jealous, Alistair." He glared at her between his fingers, a spirited grin on her face. He let her take his hand away from his face and kiss his nose before laying down to his right, her head on his shoulder. He began to say something to her when Lady barked at him, pulling on the blankets.

"H-heeey." His face turned red when she growled and kept pulling the covers away "That does not help at all." The blush spreading to his chest, wanting to cover himself up.

"Lady, stop it" Eliisa ordered not lifting up from her position on his shoulder and Lady snorted at her, laying on the floor, and still _glaring_ at him. Alistair huffed and pulled the blankets up and covering himself up. Perhaps he would stay in bed with her, he already embarrassed himself in front of his guards because a jealous dog isn't getting all the attention anymore. He supposed it could have been worse, if it had been a few minutes later…he didn't want to think about it.

Alistair looked to his wife, she was lightly fingering the shallow scar on his chest. He had gotten it during a Darkspawn ambush at their camp and he was left conveniently without armor on after a quick bath in the river. Eliisa also had similar scars across her body and he appreciated each one. He knew most of them, he'd seen her get the slash across her ribs when a Darkspawn and snuck up on her, the burn on her thigh from a rage demon, and the arrow wound in her stomach from a bandit. He wanted to kiss her every scar, every mark.

"Where did you get this one?" her question breaking the silence. He felt her touch his collarbone "I never asked during the Blight."

"I fell," he puffed his cheeks out at her giggle "I tripped over something in the Redcliffe kitchen and apparently there was a nail that wasn't fully hammered into one of the counters. It cut pretty deep, there was a lot more blood than you would think. I got scolded for bleeding everywhere." He heard her sigh and knew she was frowning.

Alistair relaxed to her roaming fingers, threading them through his chest hair. Her fingers caressed his stomach and traced a long scar across it.

"And this one?"

"Templar training, didn't block properly." He sighed out and wrapped his arm around her. "Had to learn some way I suppose." Muttering he ran his hand up and down her side, fingers brushing against her breasts. He opened his eyes and raised a brow "Do you have a mole there?" he lifted up and took her arm trying to get a better look.

"You mean you didn't notice, last night?" Eliisa teased him, but he could hear the embarrassment in her tone.

"To the side of you? No. I was more preoccupied with the front." He won a snort out of her. Before he laid back down on his back he placed a kiss on her forehead. He wasn't sure why he was so comfortable around her despite being completely bare. He sent a silent prayer to the Maker in hopes that she felt the same and wasn't humoring him. He wanted everything to be mutual between them. He knew it was hopeless to believe she could care about him in the way he did for her, but at least they could be on the same level of comfort and desire, right? She caught his lips in his own when he pulled away from her forehead.

"Why didn't you tell me you were such a good kisser?" she smirked against his lips and he blushed.

"Ha, actions are louder than words?" he kissed her deeply, pride bubbling in his chest at her admission. He flushed as one arm wrapped around his middle, the other tangling in his hair. They both jumped when Lady barked again. Alistair groaned before pulling away going to glare at the rude dog who interrupted their moment. Lady was already at his face, with a defiant look her face. He sighed at her and looked to his amused wife.

"She's not sleeping in here." He grumbled and Eliisa laughed.

"Oh come on, Alistair, she won't actually do anything to you."

"Oh no, just bark whenever we decide to…" he looked away from his giggling wife, apparently there was still a part of him that was too nervous to actually say it.

"To?" her finger on his jaw turned his head to her again, her soft lips ghosting over his own. He closed his eyes, the previous interruption already forgotten. Lady barked again, Alistair exhaled, and Eliisa laughed "How about she's not in here when we decide to engage in our activities."

"Romantic." He teased her and she rolled her eyes before kissing his nose. He groaned when there was, yet again, another interruption. This time, it was a knock at the door. "Ferelden can survive a day, right?" she gave him an irate look before shrugging under the blankets.

Alistair stood up, quickly finding a pair of pants and walking over to the door.

"Tegan." He greeted his sort-of uncle trying not to sound as annoyed as he was. Tegan didn't bother hiding his amusement.

"King Alistair," he grinned "Eamon is wanting to speak with you and her majesty. Your guests are waiting for you in the dining hall to eat breakfast." Alistair heard the shuffle of blankets and a sigh from behind him. He was curious as to why Tegan came to tell him, instead of a servant. Eliisa's handmaiden, Deirdre, walked up behind Tegan looking bored. "I figured it would be best to come get you now before Eamon came himself, he was very…resolute about it." Alistair sighed and nodded.

"Thank you, Tegan." Both men stood to the side as Deirdre walked in, no doubt going to tend to Eliisa.

"Of course, your majesty." He smirked at him before bowing and leaving. Alistair closed the door quickly and looked over to his wife who raised a brow at him.

"Apparently, unless we are in people's presence, they lose the ability to eat." He grumbled walking over to the bed and sitting on it.

"Of course, they do." she muttered "Deirdre, would you mind getting us water? We need to bathe."

"Of course, my queen." She curtsied to both of them before quickly leaving. Alistair looked over to Eliisa, who was now in a cotton robe and her hair pulled into a messy bun, similar to the one she wore in the battles against the Darkspawn.

"Make sure to really scrub your face, Alistair."

"Something on it?" his hand immediately went to his face causing her to grin.

"Only lipstick."

Alistair blushed.

As he thought, breakfast was practically intolerable. Eamon gave them both displeased looks, which of course Eliisa ignored. The storm outside has yet to let up, shaking windows and sending flashes of light, it felt ominous. Zevran, of course, was giving him sly looks all breakfast while Eliisa chatted happily with Leliana and Fergus. Oghren apparently wasn't going to be at breakfast, having drank until he literally dropped. Maker knows how long the wedding celebration lasted after the two of them left for consummation.

 _That sounds so mechanical_

"So," Zevran's hushed voice smirked at him "did she enjoy herself?" Alistair blushed and took a drink from his cup "Oh she _did_ , did she? Did my advice work out in your favor?"

"Zevran, _please_." He ignored Zevran's waggling brows and turned to look at Eliisa who was popping fruit into her mouth happily. There were other guests of course, some of the richer more important nobles looking for something from him or his wife. She was pleasant with them, chatting and smiling charmingly. She looked like she was born to be in this role.

Anora did, too, if he was honest. Eliisa had told him that if they wanted to be completely smart about him becoming king, making Anora his queen would've been a good idea. He refused, begging her not to do it, even though he knew she was right. Anora was a good queen, but it felt _wrong_ marrying her. Alistair was surprised when Eliisa announced her engagement to him, and to the rest of Ferelden. He definitely didn't expect her to.

She had told him that if he was against it, he could end the engagement, she couldn't hold it against him. She stated that nobles would be throwing their daughters at him and the thought made him uncomfortable. It felt like treating the young women like the prize broodmare. He knew she was trying to do right by him when she announced herself as his queen, she didn't want him to have that much more stress. He also knew that she felt guilty about placing him on the throne, so he guessed it was her way of punishing herself. She got married to him as a punishment for herself.

 _Sound even more bitter, Alistair._

He really did come to Eliisa about being king, asking for her help and advice. He thought he could do some good for his country. From what he understood, it sounded like his people liked him so far, although only three months in, it's too soon to tell.

Another crash of thunder caused the windows to shake again, breaking him from his thoughts. He hesitated before placing his hand in Eliisa's free hand. It somehow felt wrong to do so. He wondered if the tenderness was only reserved for the bedroom. But they were with people, so that meant they were to act like a loving pair, right? It was all so confusing. He didn't know when or what would be appropriate. He never imagined his married life would end up like this. Then again, he never really imagined being king either.

Eliisa squeezed his hand, her wedding ring rubbing against his coronation ring.

"I'm so glad you got rid of that carriage." Eliisa said from beside him. A week after their wedding they started a tour of the country. It's been about two weeks traveling, now. Eliisa, of course, argued fiercely that she 'would not be traveling in that carriage ever again and will burn it herself if she had to.' Ah, his loving wife was every bit Ferelden. They traveled on horses, instead. Eliisa had a new Shire horse, Alistair's wedding gift to her. The way her eyes lit up and threw her arms around him, when she saw the black and white mare, was worth the pain it took to get it to her. His own Clydesdale was a gift from Empress Celene, of course no one actually said that out loud, lest the citizens riot.

"Anything for my queen." Alistair smiled at her bark of laughter and looked behind at Tegan and Eamon, who for some reason, decided they both needed to be here for this visitation. Like their travels during the Blight, it was tiring, mostly smelled of horse and sweat, and constantly on edge because of bandits. Unlike the Blight though, they had the king's guard and stayed in inns along the Imperial Highway.

 _And we don't have to bathe in freezing rivers_

"It's already getting dark out," Eliisa mentioned looking at the dark clouds. "I suppose spring in Ferelden means lots of rain."

"Usually, we should probably find a place to stay for the night." He muttered looking around. Alistair quirked a brow at Eliisa when she giggled.

"Alistair, there's a village coming up," she pointed forward "Don't you remember?"

 _Village?_

He tried thinking back to the Blight, they hadn't stayed in inns very often. There was a Pearl, although that _was not_ an inn. Then the inn in Redcliffe until Eamon had let them stay in the castle with him…

"The one where I got proposed to?" Alistair groaned

"Oh, _that_." Eliisa's laughter echoed around them and he bit out a grin. That was certainly an interesting evening. They had defeated some bandits who had been harassing a town. Eliisa was less than agreeable at the time, he remembered. She usually tried taking the diplomatic route, but something seemed to be under her skin. Either way, the bandits either ended up dead or running away. It was all very heroic. The inn keeper offered the small group, which Eliisa took with her to buy more supplies, free rooms for the night as payment. Alistair was surprised how quickly she had snatched the keys from the old man's hands.

At dinner, the villagers were praising and thanking them. Leliana played songs, Sten actually looked less annoyed than Eliisa, and Alistair was flushing from all the attention he was getting. When he asked Eliisa if she was doing alright, she brushed him off saying she was just tired. Which he could tell wasn't a complete lie, the dark circles under her eyes seemed to grow darker and deeper each day. When she announced she was headed to her room an old woman stopped her, dragging a man in front of her.

"Please, my lady." The old woman curtsied to her and pushed her son to Eliisa. Alistair choked on his ale. Eliisa looked nonplussed, like she was use to this behavior.

"You're…proposing marriage to me?" she spoke slowly, like she didn't understand. "I-," Alistair watched as she looked back at the three of them and then around. "Forgive me ma'am. I appreciate your consideration but I will have to decline your offer." Alistair sighed relieved, which Leliana caught and smirked at him. "I have no intention to start a romance." Her words were harsh but the smile on her face could have melted butter. Alistair tried not to show his sorrow as he reached into his pack and thumbed a rose.

"Yes _, that_." Alistair grunted at her "And now we will be headed back to that same inn. Really, it was all so embarrassing. I got that enough from the nobles, to think I had to use the same rejection speech."

"Speech?"

"Oh yes, I had to say something to the boys and their parents when I rejected the courting and marriages offers." She rolled her eyes "'Forgive my lord and/or lady. I appreciate your consideration but I will have to decline your offer. I have no intention to start a romance,' or something like that. Of course it was a partial lie, I was always looking for romance. Maker, though! I was saying those words in my sleep! You know what the worst part about it was?"

"I-"

"None of them even bothered to get to know me." Her sigh was harsh "No one ever tried, they just saw my claim, or in that case my ability to kill bandits, and decided I was worth marrying. What did they expect? That after marrying me they'd get to know me and I'd fall in love? Ridiculous." He watched her shoulders sag slightly before straightening up.

"Well, that's unfortunate for them." He smiled and took her hand "I like the person I got to know." She gave him a sincere smile when his kissed the hand he had taken. "So, out of curiosity..."

"You remember what happened to the cat, yes?" Alistair glared at her.

"Funny," her giggle was hard not to grin at. "Anyway, so if any of your friends had come to you, would you have courted them?"

"Well, I did. I told you of Ser Gilmore?" he nodded. "I mean it wasn't for very long, and it was never anything really serious, but…" she trailed off with a faraway look, "At least he cared about _me_ , not my claim." She smiled sadly. "So, I guess my answer would've been yes. If they were handsome enough of course." she smirked.

"Well, priorities, right?" he muttered and she giggled and kissed his cheek before riding off ahead.

Eliisa had left Alistair with his guards and villagers, stating that she would look at the reports and letters they had been receiving through ravens. They were drinking and being merry and rowdy. Both Eliisa and Tegan had encouraged him to do this more often when they found out how he had been sneaking out sometimes to taverns. They both told him that it created good morale with his people and were glad he cared about that relationship. Who was he to decline such an idea? He told himself when the funny feeling in his head started he would stop drinking and retire to his room. Luckily, he hadn't gotten that feeling yet.

"Where is the queen, your majesty?" Tegan raised his brow at him.

"Ah, she stated that she wanted to look at the missives and retire early." Alistair shrugged before taking a bite of bread "Figured I could give her some alone time, we have been around each other constantly."

"And here I was thinking that's what newly married couples were like."

"Maybe, but I've seen Eliisa nearly pull out her hair because someone wouldn't leave her alone while in our travels." He couldn't even remember the person's face, just Eliisa's silent rage of being followed around for nearly three weeks. She vented to Alistair, complaining about how no one would just let have an hour of peace. He would've found it hilarious if he thought it safe to laugh. Her temper was something else. "In any case, I don't think anyone is complaining currently about her absence."

"You care quite a bit about her, Alistair, if you notice such things."

"Well, we have spent quite a lot of time together since becoming wardens." He was sure he spent more time with her than he did with anyone else, ever. Sure, sometimes they didn't see each other for a week or two when they had separate parties during the Blight, but she never seemed to be annoyed when she was around him, at least not annoyed _with_ him. Except, after he revealed he was Maric's bastard. That was bad. Very bad.

"Either way," Tegan took a drink before grinning "The people have been talking about the adoration you have for each other."

"They have?"

"Of course, they say you two look like you were made for each other, completely in love." Alistair snorted. He wasn't sure about _that._ I mean sure they were good friends and cared about each other, but what Tegan was saying? Alistair cleared his throat.

"Then that's good." He shook his head when he was offered more ale "The people should think that about us. Don't want another Anora/Cailan mishap." Everyone knew that the two of them we're having problems. It didn't reflect well despite the love the people had for both of them. Everyone was a hopeless romantic in the end, he guessed.

"No, of course not." Tegan simpered at him before patting his shoulder and walking towards some people and chatting. The funny feeling in Alistair's head was starting to grow. He supposed it was time to go to bed. He sort of stumbled walking to his room, knocking on the door, before remembering he has keys and fumbling in his pocket for it.

When he opened the door he saw Eliisa in the tub, reading a letter. He blushed before quickly closing the door.

"Did you just knock on your own door?" she asked, not looking up from the page.

"I-force of habit." He looked to ground then back up to Eliisa, who had an amused look on her face.

"Well, I'm grateful, otherwise I wouldn't have realized how long I've been in here." She rolled the note before tossing it towards the desk, missing it. She stretched a bit before standing up and reaching for her robe. Alistair looked away quickly.

 _She's your wife._ He reminded himself. _But she might not want me to see her._

"Everything alright?" he focused on the waving hand in his face.

"I- ah, y-yes. I'm fine."

"You had more than one ale didn't you?"

"Of course I had- what does _that_ mean?" he pouted.

"Well, you are a bit of a lightweight, Alistair." She laughed and walked over to her luggage "would you like to call for some more water or use mine? It's still pretty steamy." he probably should have thought of that before he started taking off his clothes. He was tired of smelling like sweat and horse, however, so he didn't really care.

"This is fine, if I can bathe after your ogre blood bath in the river, I can bathe after some sweat." She stuck her tongue out at him before slipping on smalls under her robe. He happily relaxed into the water. He had to admit, he'd never miss taking a bath in a river. Warm baths were so much more agreeable, than trying to wash off Darkspawn blood in a half frozen water in the rain.

"Dammit," he heard from behind him "Do you have any spare shirts?"

"In my pack, why?"

"Hmm, ah here we are." He heard shuffling before turning around a flushing "I'm out of my own nightwear, I must've sent a clean pair with Deirdre when she collected my laundry." She sighed annoyed trying to adjust his shirt to fit on her shoulders and failing.

"I-I see" he spun back around, the shirt barely covered anything, he was sure if she bent down…he shook his head. He was sure he was warming the water now with his blushing.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Alistair cleared his throat and nodded.

"Just tired." He sighed finishing cleaning himself with Eliisa's soap. It always smelled so much better than his. Fancier, too. He got out and wrapped a towel around his waist before looking up at her sitting comfortably between pillows reading another letter. "You can give it a rest, 'Lis. Aren't we supposed to be on vacation?"

" _Official_ vacation." She corrected him. "If this were an actual vacation it'd be just us and no entourage following us everywhere." He huffed.

"Fair enough." Alistair walked over to his own luggage before noticing the reddening on her thighs "'Lis," she looked up at him and raised a brow when he sat down next to her, forgetting his nakedness. "Your…thighs." Eliisa looked down and chuckled nervously.

"Ah yeah, riding on horses all the time, chafing, and all that." She waved her hand and avoided his gaze, looking back at the letter.

"You forgot your balm didn't you?" he asked, but it was more of a statement than a question. Her defiant glare causing him to stare entertainingly at her.

"No! Well…maybe…I might have." Alistair sighed, Eliisa had a bad habit of leaving things behind.

"Well, luckily for you," he stood up and reached into a pack "You have someone who does remember everything you leave behind."

"You make it sound like I leave hundreds of things behind."

"Eliisa, you forgot Shale."

"That was _one_ time!" he laughed when she crossed her arms and puffed out her cheeks. He nudged her knees apart before dipping his fingers into the balm.

"Here, since you probably forgot how to put in on." She responded with a huff but let him rub the liquid on her inner thighs. His face was probably as red as her thighs at this point. He twisted the lid back on the minty smelling liquid "Better?" he bent down and tentatively kissed the part of her thigh that wasn't covered in the balm slowly.

"Much." She sighed out lazily. He looked from her thighs to her face and smiled nervously. They hadn't really been intimate with each other since their wedding night. The first week of the marriage was spent with Eamon constantly down their throats about the tour and they had been so exhausted the past two weeks from riding all day and meeting people, they really had no time to relax. This was the first night where they had time to actually spend time alone together.

She must've been thinking the same thing because her bottom lip was in between her teeth with a slight flush on her face. She was breathtaking. He placed another long kiss on her thigh and felt her shift slightly. Another kiss further up, slowly, waiting for her protest, to push him off. One more on her hip bone, lifting his shirt along with his kisses. He continued his path softly and slowly, until the shirt was over her head.

Alistair seized her lips in his own, slowly and passionately kissing her. His hands softly caressing her body, like silk against his coarse hands. He let out an appreciative sigh when her nails softly scraped down his back and around the edge of the towel. Eliisa hummed against his lips and tugged at his towel, throwing it away from the two of them.

"I swear if anyone interrupts us this time, I'm exiling them." He muttered and kissed her neck, nipping at her olive skin. Her breathy laugh was the only response he wanted as he kissed back down her body, drinking in every bit of her. His fingers hooked around her smalls, quickly pulling them down before climbing on top of her.

He let out a strangled groan when she ground against his hardening cock. Maker, she was too much for him to handle. He reached between their bodies, his fingers slowly circling her clit, loving the way her eyes rolled back just slightly, before they closed. He bent down, taking her hardened nipple in his mouth, finally earning that sweet moan from her throat.

That's when there was a knock at the door. Why the Maker was torturing him in this way, he didn't know. He sighed annoyed, releasing her body from his hold. She grabbed his chin and softly kissed him before placing a finger over her lips to signal to be quiet.

"If we're quiet," she whispered "They may think we're asleep." She kissed him again.

"I don't know," he whispered against her lips, relaxing against her body "Eamon has the ears of a bat."

Alistair peppered kisses on her jaw, tuning out the murmurs outside their door. He ran his fingers down her body and wrapped her legs around his hips, causing her to make a soft "oof" when her back hit the bed. She quickly covered her mouth with her hands looking at the door. When there was no sign of acknowledgement he chuckled at her reaction, earning him a glare.

He tried to be gentle with her, her thighs no doubt raw and sore still. The balm was slick against his sides as his slowly slid into her heat. He let out a content sigh and thrust once, making sure she was alright and in no way uncomfortable. His heart beat quickly with her smile and swelled when she pulled him down to her, kissing him. They moved slowly and together, doing their best to stay quiet. Alistair had no idea if the person who was so keen on interrupting them was still out there, but he was starting to not care.

Sweat formed between them, making her body glossy. Eliisa practically glowed in the candle light.

"You're so," his comment caught in his throat when she tightened and rolled against him.

"So?"

"Amazing," he kissed her forehead. "Incredible." He kissed her nose "Breathtaking." Her cheekbone "Ravishing." Her jaw "Beautiful." He took her lips in his, tongue slipping into her mouth, muffling her moan when he gave a rough and quick thrust. Her legs fell from around him and he groaned when her nails scratched and dug into his back when he did it again. Alistair couldn't contain the flush that spread throughout his body when she came, his name on her lips. He kissed her again and again.

"Your majesty." He groaned loudly and very annoyed.

 _This isn't happening._

He looked down at his breathless wife who raised her brow at him, as if expecting him to know what to do.

"What is it?" he snapped hoping to scare off whoever it was behind the door. He laid down beside her and then pulled her on top of him. She shook her head but smiled amused, grabbing his cock and sliding down at a tortuously slow pace.

"There's an elf here? Says he has important information for-," he stopped paying attention to anything but Elissa. Eliisa, who was riding him with far more confidence than the first time, once she found her rhythm. She smirked at him.

"You know, that's probably Zevran." She teased between breaths. He cupped her amazing ass and squeezed.

"Then he'll understand." He gasped out and ran his hands up her breasts, tweaking her nipples, reveling in the way she threw her head back. As if her moving on top of him wasn't enough, she slid her fingers down his chest and found her clit, rubbing it in sync with her thrusts. She was undeniably too much for him. His hands found their way back her hips, squeezing, probably leaving half-moon prints on her. The sight and feel of her touching herself had him at his peak. He thrust sporadically a couple times, earning a muffled moan from her. He looked up at her through half open eyes to see her free hand covering her mouth.

Alistair pulled her down to him, kissing her and swallowing her whimpers and gasps as she came, shaking on top of him. He bit her bottom lip gently when he reached his own climax soon after. He sucked her bruised lip, sprinkling kisses along her jaw as they both regained normal breathing rates.

"We should probably find out what Zevran wants." He muttered into her hair. Eliisa hummed in agreement, but not moving from her spot on top of him.

"Just bring him in here." She whispered "I'm too tired to walk around looking for him." He laughed at her placing a kiss on her forehead.

Alistair was beyond stressed. After six months into his reign, he figured it would at least get a little easier over time. Eamon assured it was simply more difficult and pressing because his country was recovering from the Blight, Eliisa said it was because Eamon and the other nobles were constantly breathing down his neck. Alistair figured they were both partially right. That and he was sure he wasn't cut out for this.

He leaned back in his chair and massaged his temples, none of his work was going to get done anytime soon. Perhaps he could call for Eliisa, ask her to help him out? She, of course, would say he's done a good job on his own and he doesn't need her guidance. It wasn't her guidance he needed though, he needed an extra set of hands and eyes to help him get through the growing stacks of complaints from the nobles who just don't understand that the crown can't help every cabbage farmer in the nation.

"Alistair?" he opened his eyes.

 _Speak of the devil._

"Eliisa," he sighed "Please tell me you're here to help me sort through this mess." She chuckled and walked towards his desk, standing by his side.

"Mmm, how many of these are cabbages and how many of these are problems we can fix?" she leaned over, shuffling through the letters.

"I want to say half but…"

"Wishful thinking?" he grunted and ran his hand down his face.

"Here." She reached for his shoulders and started massaging them "I suspect this isn't the only thing on your mind? Eamon down your throat again? Or did Bann Ena come throwing her daughter at you again." Alistair gave a distasteful scoff.

"Do you know how many times I had to remind her that I have a queen? We've been married _three months_ , Maker's blood."

"She probably reminded you that she 'wasn't at the wedding, so how could she remember you getting married?'"

"How is that _my_ fault?" Alistair whined leaning back into his queen's steady hands. "I'm not cut out for all this."

"Don't say that Alistair." She stopped and stood in front of him "You're doing a good job. Don't let some pompous noble lady get the best of you." He sighed and laid his head on her stomach causing her to laugh "Tell you what, I'll take care of her next time. People tend to fear me, for some reason."

"Well, you did stab a dragon in the face." He mumbled causing her to laugh again. Her thumbs where in his temples, rubbing gently. Alistair let out an appreciative groan.

"My poor king." He grunted "Is there anything I could do to help?" he looked up at her quirked brow.

"I could think of a few things." He waggled his brows.

"Alistair!" she exclaimed with a laugh when he pulled her into his lap

"What can I say, I have a depraved mind." He caught her giggles in a kiss. This had become ritual for them lately, when things became too stressful or too much, they fell into each other. Eliisa had described it as 'a very efficient stress relief' and he was inclined to agree.

That's how he ended up behind her, letters scatted on the ground, her lips hot against his jaw, her back against his chest, slightly bent over his desk, her right leg bent up on it, her stocking dangerously close the black quill ink that seemed to shake closer to her with every thrust. Really, he wasn't sure how everyday didn't end up like this.

He remembered why it didn't when the door swung open to a very amused Zevran with a missive.

"Zevran!" Eliisa squeaked and threw the first thing she could find at him "Out!" Zevran dodged easily before sending Alistair a lurid look and walking (and locking) the door. Alistair buried his face in his wife's neck, hoping to hide away from being caught in the act. "Ugh, I didn't lock the door." She mumbled in her hand, before wiggling her hips "Well?"

"Well?" he croaked out from her neck and she wiggled again "You still _want_ to?"

"Do _you_ not want to?"

"No! I mean yes! I-I mean, oh, forget it." He spun her around and laid her on the desk causing her to laugh approvingly as he sheathed himself in her again.

"Was there something you needed, by the way?"

"Hm?" Alistair ran his hand through Eliisa's hair while she was slightly dozing off with her head in his lap. No doubt tired from their activities and the ridiculously boring work they read out to one another.

"The reason you came in here the first place?" He throwing another letter in the 'ignore for now' pile on the floor.

"Ah," she sat up from her place in his lap and running her fingers through her hair. "Actually, yes." She patted her dress, searching for something, making an 'ah-ha' noise when she found a rolled up, broken sealed letter. The grey warden seal. He swallowed when she handed it to him.

"Warden-Commander Cousland," he read out "It is with great confidence we can inform you, blah-blah-blah," he looked up, eyebrows raised "They want you to go to Amaranthine?" she shrugged.

"So, it seems." He gave her back the letter when she reached for it "The new recruits are ready and the castle is…decent enough to live in. There's also someone in the army ranks I've spotted out." She ran her hand through her hair, shaking off the stands that she shed in stress. She placed her arm on the back of the couch and laid her cheek on it in thought.

Alistair felt a familiar anxiety in his gut. The one he got when he knew she was going into battle without him. This wasn't a battle though, right? It was a just a trip to the warden's to see their commander's face and her to be there to observe their training and joining.

"When will you leave?" she hesitated before looking at him.

"Next week."

"Next- Eliisa are you crazy? That hardly gives me any time to-" she shut him up with a finger over his lips.

"Alistair you'll be fine, and I won't be long." He took her hand from his mouth squeezing it slightly "If it makes you feel better you could come…greet the new wardens?"

"Is that a polite way of saying I get to kidnap you?" she laughed at him "I'll leave a day after you, meet and greet the new recruits, watch the joining and then?"

"We'll make sure everything is ready to go and then _we'll_ be ready to go." He smiled back at her, bringing her closer in for an embrace, tucking her head under his chin.

Somehow, though, they both knew it wouldn't be that simple.


	8. Warden Commander

Everything smelled of mud and wet dog.

Eliisa had forgotten how much she hated travelling, having become accustomed to the luxuries of a castle, all over again. Oh, how she missed her big, comfy pillows, the roar fire to her side, the hefty goose feather comforter, Alistair snoring beside her while Lady laid at their feet…

 _To be fair, Alistair snored while we laid on the ground at camp too. Stop acting like a spoiled child._ She groaned at herself and prompted Duff, her beloved Shire horse, to move faster.

"Commander? Are you alright?" the escort, Mhairi, asked. Eliisa forced a smile.

"Of course, Ser Mhairi." she sighed out "nothing to worry about." Flashing a smile she looked further onward. The reports from the Orlesian Wardens in Vigil's keep were unsettling. Darkspawn fleeing to the coastlands, including her home, and causing chaos. She thought they would retreat back to the Deep Roads, not linger and form _factions_. She didn't even think they could be that intelligent with the Archdemon, let alone without one. The lands were being terrorized causing more stress for Alistair. She swallowed, she knew in the pit of her stomach she wouldn't be returning back home with Alistair, as originally planned.

"New armor for the Warden-Commander, I see." Eliisa jumped at Alistair voice "Trying to leave without saying goodbye?" she adjusted the saddle on Duff before turning to him.

"Of course not. I knew you'd find your way down to me." She laughed at his pout, "Besides, I won't be long. Remember the plan?"

"To kidnap you?"

"Alistair, if you keep saying that, you're going to alarm someone." Eliisa snorted at his showy grin. She smiled down at Lady when she poked her in the stomach "Not this time Lady," she crouched down and rubbed her ears "You need to stay with Alistair, someone has to keep him safe, while I'm not around." Lady whined before walking to sit beside Alistair.

"I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself, you know." He huffed before pulling her into a hug "Be safe out there, with the Darkspawn raiding the coastlands, I-"

"I know," she took a deep breath, inhaling his musky cologne she had bought for him on an impulse. "No need to worry, I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself, you know." She grinned when his chest shook in laughter.

"Commander?" Mhairi broke her thoughts.

"Err, yes?"

"I said, it's starting to rain, we should probably hurry, wouldn't want the welcoming party to get soaked." Eliisa nodded and hurried to Howe's, no, the _Warden's_ castle. That was going to take some time to get used to. "What's going on?" Mhairi spoke up confused "Why aren't they here to greet us?" she looked to Eliisa who continued staring forward.

 _Please just be late or not wanting to deal with rain._

Her hopes were dashed when she heard shouting and saw the fires. Her stomach dropped when she heard the disgusting sound of Darkspawn in her head.

"Something is wrong!" Duff snorted when a man came shouting, running from Darkspawn. "Commander, quickly!"

Eliisa was already ahead of her, steering Duff to rush forward so she could lop off one of the foul creatures head. Starfang was as sharp as ever, she'd have to send something to Sten, a thank you note and a cookie recipe, perhaps. And give him grief for not coming to her wedding, of course. Mhairi easily took down a Genlock, before turning to the third one. Eliisa took out her knife from her boot and stabbed it through the head.

"It's you!" the man said "The Hero of Ferelden! Thank the Maker!" he sighed out in relief.

"How did this happen?" Eliisa looked down at the man. Why didn't the Warden's warn her of the Darkspawn? Just because she can sense the damn things doesn't mean she doesn't like knowing more than "oh, they might be in the area."

"I-I don't know. They came out nowhere!"

 _Meaning they came from the ground._

"All I heard were screams and people dying. I got out as fast as I could and ran into these…" he looked to the beheaded Genlock. "You need to help them. You need to do something!"

 _Of course, I do._

"Are there any Warden's left alive?"

"I think there was a mage behind me. They might have been a Warden. I-I don't know. I'll see if I can't find some help. There has to be a patrol on the road."

 _Well we're never going to see him again_. Eliisa dismounted Duff and Mhairi walked up to her, her face full of concern.

"We don't have a lot of time, Commander." Eliisa patted her horse and smiled what hoped to be a look of assurance at her

"That was good sword work. You're more than just my escort it seems."

"Oh!" she bowed and her face was pink "Pardon me, Commander. I'd assumed proper introductions would be taken at the keep. I was a knight in King Alistair's army until one of the Warden's recruited me a month ago" Eliisa nodded and pulled on Duff's reins to follow her "I haven't taken my Joining yet, though. The seneschal sent me to bring you back, but I was not expecting this!"

 _Welcome to the Wardens._

"The Darkspawn launched a sneak attack." Eliisa huffed "That's practically unheard of." It's not entirely impossible to be ambushed by Darkspawn, she reminded herself. They had been ambushed at camp during the Blight. Alistair got a nasty scar from it since he was out of armor.

"This isn't a Blight. How could they be so organized? I don't understand."

"Perhaps something other than an Archdemon is leading them." Her stomach twisted, what could possibly lead the Darkspawn other than the Archdemon? There's no way there could already be another Blight in the making.

"That is…a frightening thought."

"Who's in charge here?"

"Varel, the seneschal. He's the keep's steward, I believe, working for the Warden's." Eliisa sighed and they walked into the courtyard, where there were of course, more damned Darkspawn. The two of them fought them off, Duff running off to safety. Eliisa prayed the mare would be safe. She knew what a pain it had to have been for Alistair to get the animal to her, she couldn't lose such a beautiful gift from him.

"This is unbelievable. Everything has been completely overwhelmed!" she cried out, pulling Starfang out of a Hurlock.

"I don't understand, how did the Warden's not sense the darkspawn coming?"

"Something strange is happening, and I intend to find out." She growled and kept moving. She felt tired and winded already, more than likely from not training as much as she should. Unlike her husband, who still woke early to work his body almost every day, she had sank into the comforts of being a Lady and Queen so easily. It's also probably why she wasn't able to properly dodge the Hurlock Alpha's giant hammer being slammed into her side. Serves her right.

 _Well, I guess I was overdue some broken ribs._

She waved off Mhairi and continued on their way to find more wardens. Instead, finding a sarcastic and sardonic mage by the name of Anders, who may or may not have killed the Templars around him. She chose to believe it was the Darkspawn. She also found a strange Dwarf who properly blew up the entrance into the keep, and a good ten darkspawn. _This is growing tiresome_. Happily though, she ran into Oghren. He was, of course, fighting a group on his own.

"There you are!" his laughed echoed after they had killed the Darkspawn "When these 'Spawn showed up, I thought, "just you wait until the boss gets here, she'll make you spit teeth out of your arses!" I followed the screaming, and sure enough, here you are. Good on ya, 'Lis."

"D-did you just call the Commander by- I can scarcely believe- the nerve!" Mhairi sputtered at Oghren's casualness, causing him snicker at her.

"I can't believe you're here, Oghren." Eliisa laughed and pat him on the back, ignoring the jolting pain in her side. Damn ribs, Alistair was going to give her a mouthful when he arrived. Her blood froze, Alistair was on his way, and he had _no warning_ of the attack. She swallowed, she had to kill these fiends before he got here.

"Doubting your eyes, huh?" Oghren snorted "I get like that, after the fifth bottle, or so."

"Yes, I heard you had quite the time at my wedding reception."

"Hey, when you and Pike Twirler left to start rutting," Eliisa flushed, Ander's snickered, and Mhairi went back to sputtering "I had to find a way to entertain the crowd!"

"Of course you did. But Oghren why-"

"I came here thinking I might try my hand at becoming a bona fide Grey Warden, heh."

"He was here when I left, I can't believe the Warden's didn't kick him out" Mhairi grumbled

 _Kick out a Hero of the Blight? Hardly._

"Hey! If it isn't the recruit with the great rack!"

"Oghren." Eliisa warned.

"Ha! I know that tone, do you use on Alistair in the bedroom? He must like it, since he was so keen on you leading." she punched him in the shoulder, gaining another bout of laughter.

"Yes. A prize for the Wardens, to be sure." Maker this is going to end up like Alistair and Morrigan, if she doesn't shut them up. Her jabbing ribs were already making her cranky, she furrowed her brows, rubbing her forehead. At least Morrigan and Alistair stopped when something important and dire was happening…usually.

"Oghren" she cut off the three, Andraste's tits, now the mage was involved in the banter. "There are risks to joining the Grey Wardens. What about-" Oghren scoffed at her.

"Piss on that, there are risks to getting up in the morning."

 _Avoiding the question, great._

"We can talk about it later. There's more Darkspawn around, let's go." She snapped when the mage, Anders, started bantering between Oghren again. They fought to the battlements, her side giving her all sorts of not-so-fun feelings. Despite her injury, it was mostly easy to kill the damn things. When she ran into Mhairi's friend, Rowland, she starkly remembered the Blight and the losses that came with it. He sputtered about a talking Darkspawn and how he wished he could've fought with her. She sighed sadly before closing his eyes.

 _A fucking talking Darkspawn, I hope Oghren is correct in that the man was delirious._

Of course, he wasn't. There was a Maker damned talking Darkspawn with an older man, threatening to kill him. It wanted her captured, too, fantastic. Images of the Broodmother played in her head, fear gripped at her heart.

"Promise me, Alistair," she sobbed as he rubbed her back desperately. "Don't ever let me become one of those. Kill me before that could ever happen." Her own words echoed in her mind as she found the talking creature, slicing and stabbing at it, it's repulsive face taunting her even as she freed it from its body.

"Commander, I owe you my life." The man stood up and looked towards the gates "There are soldiers on the road, it seems we have more company. Hopefully they're more hospitable than our previous guests." She sighed tiredly. Time to greet the king.

The rain poured onto her, soaking her hair as Alistair walked up to her. She bowed to the best of her ability, the grey haired man, Varel, knelt with her bow. Oghren took a sip of whatever was in his flask he managed to pull from nowhere.

"Looks like I'm late," He raised his brow. So, he had gotten word from that man she had run into. "Too bad, I rather miss the whole darkspawn-killing thing." He shrugged with a smirk. Oghren snorted when Mhairi exclaimed and knelt down. "I wanted to give the Warden's a formal welcome, I wasn't expecting _this._ " He gave her a brief look of worry "What's the situation?"

"What Darkspawn remained, have fled, Your Majesty. All of the Warden' from Orlais and the recruits we had gathered…they're dead or missing." Varel sighed out

 _Damn._

" _Missing?_ As in taken by the Darkspawn, they do that?" Alistair looked to her but all she could do was shrug.

"I-I do not know, Your Majesty, all I know is that we cannot account for all the Warden's."

 _Damn, damn, damn._

"I see," Alistair hadn't taken his gaze from her. He knew she was hurt, he always did. "And how about you, dear wife? You weren't badly hurt?" she sighed and rubbed her side.

"Nothing I can't handle, you know that." She laughed out more easily than she thought she could. Alistair frowned a bit before quickly covering up with laughter.

"I married an indestructible goddess, I am such a lucky man." he played it off just as easily. Anders was a healer, she'd get him to patch her up before she dealt with anything else.

"Do you two mind?" Oghren belched "Some of us like our dinners in our bellies." Eliisa rolled her eyes "I swear, ever since the Archdemon, you two have become even worse."

"We're married." They said at the same time, in a practiced tone.

 _Worse, what does_ that _mean?_

"The Wardens have quite the task ahead of them, I'd like to help fight but-

"Hey what am I? Chopped nug livers? I can fight for the Warden's, don't need His Majesty to come and help. Where's the giant cup, I'll gargle and spit." Eliisa snorted at Oghren, causing Alistair to give them both an exasperated look.

"All are welcomed into the Grey Warden's" she grinned placing her hand on Oghren's shoulder. "Please don't gargle and spit, though."

"No promises."

"Joining the Wardens? Well good luck with _that"_ Ander's spoke up.

"King Alistair," a Templar rushed up to him breathless. The two of them turned their heads to her, regarding her warily. "Your Majesty, beware. This man is a dangerous criminal."

"The dwarf is a bit of arse, but I wouldn't go _that_ far." Eliisa hid her grin behind her cough. Oghren grumbled about keeping her keeping Alistair in check, earning him a shove.

"She means me." Ander's whole demeanor changed, hanging his head. Her heart broke at the sight.

"This is an apostate who-"

"I'm conscripting into the Warden's." Eliisa cut off the woman, quickly, not wanting to deal with this sort of issue tonight.

"What!? Never!"

"I believe Grey Warden's still retain the Right of Conscription, no? I will allow it." Alistair's tone left no room for argument. Oghren laughed loudly as the Templar stalked off. Eliisa ignored the banter between her three new recruits and walked up to her husband.

"Is everything is under control?" he raised his brow, she nodded guardedly and motioned to Varel.

"I believe so, Your Majesty. We have suffered a loss, but the Darkspawn are gone for now. I am most grateful for your timely rescue, Commander." Varel bowed to her before taking the recruits in the castle. Alistair let go of his Kingly guise for a moment and gave her a worried look.

"You need to get your side looked at." He whispered and lightening flashed around them, reflecting off his armor.

"I know," Eliisa groaned "Pretty sure I broke a rib or two." She chuckled weakly and he rolled his eyes. Wrapping his arm around her shoulder they walked towards the keep.

"Well, it certainly wouldn't be the first time."

After Duff had found his way back to her and put away in the stables safely, Eliisa went to Anders and he had very discreetly healed her side. Alistair never left her side, something she appreciated when she stood up too fast from being healed and nearly fell on her face. After her blunder she returned to the great hall where dinner was served to everyone. She had changed from her Warden-Commander armor and into a blue tunic, black breeches and black boots. Starfang, of course, remained at her hip. Oghren was happily telling stories of their time during the Blight.

"The Commander looked just so damn inconvenienced," he chortled "Turned around and looked at us, "there's a fucking dragon in my way,"" he imitated her voice poorly, but it gained a snicker from everyone, including her husband who had been so good as to not laugh at Oghren. "And then charged the blighted thing. His Majesty was the first to recover calling after her, trying to shield her away from being burned to death. When the rest of us recovered from the shock of her charging a fucking dragon, we came in and starting hitting it."

"A _dragon?_ " Mhairi spoke up astonished.

"One of three, in fact, if you count the Archdemon. Gotta hand it to the boss, always has a way of finding trouble, heh."

"I try my best." She smirked from her cup "Besides, that's not nearly as interesting as to when Morrigan changed into a giant spider and threw a crying bandit into our camp because he found her bathing." Alistair snorted behind his hand and Oghren cheered. The recruits and royal guards were dumbstruck, no doubt because all the stories they had heard about their travels during the Blight were all very romantic. They weren't about how Alistair got tangled and stuck in a giant spider web and Eliisa had to cut him out and how he spend days trying to get all of it off of him and his armor, or when Oghren smelled so bad that even Shale complained (because of the gnats the stone giant said), or when Eliisa sliced an ogre's neck just deep enough that it drenched her in blood and innards, from head to toe, but not enough to kill it, so it ran around trying to heal itself in a panic.

"Ha! That was a sight. Hopefully, they'll be more like it with this crew." Eliisa smiled softly at Oghren then to Anders and Mhairi, who were talking, ahem flirting, amongst themselves.

 _I hope so too, Oghren._

The hall was cleared and all who remained were the Warden's and the recruits. Alistair stood at her right looked to the three recruits, the hearth behind them hot and burnt her neck.

"Right now, I know of only two living Warden's in all of Ferelden." The recruits looked at her and Alistair "That should be rectified."

"Let's get on with it, then." She ordered not leaving her place.

"As you wish, Commander." Eliisa cleared her throat.

"The time has come for us to begin the Joining. I shall speak the words that have been said since the first." She lifted her head looking down at the recruits, scrutinizing each of them. "Join us, brothers and sisters. Join us in the showers where we stand, vigilant. Join us as we carry the duty that cannot be forsworn. And should you perish, know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten, and that one day we shall join you."

Eliisa thought back to her own joining. Alistair speaking the words to her and the other recruits, the death of Daveth and Jory, the revolting taste of blood and lyrium hitting her senses, the way her body fell to the ground as she fainted in intense pain and the awful dreams. This was no longer a Blight, thankfully, but she still dreamt of Darkspawn and the Archdemon, it terrified her to her core. Sometimes, she would wake in the middle of the night sweating and shaking, before her marriage she would cling to Lady, and cry herself back to sleep. Now, though, she would see Alistair sleeping peacefully, and wonder if something was wrong with her. She asked him sometime after then Blight and before their marriage, if he still dreamt of the Blight. When he had admitted to dreaming of Ostagar and of her disappearing in the flash of light after killing the Archdemon, she understood.

She only hoped these new Warden's wouldn't have to deal with everything her and Alistair dealt with. Varel turned to her and she nodded. He grabbed the large silver goblet and stood in front of Oghren.

"From this moment forth, Oghren, you are a Grey Warden."

"What's this? The sampler size? Are you trying to say something about my height?" Eliisa smirked but didn't budge.

"Er…this is the goblet we've always used."

"Really?" he grunted and drank…and then belched

"Not bad."

"Did he just?" Alistair whispered.

"Yes." She bit her lip both to hide the humor and relief that her friend not only survived the Joining, but is still _standing,_ albeit with white eyes.

"Maker help us all." Varel sighed out and looked at her. All she could do is shrug at him before he moved to Anders.

"From this moment forth, Anders, you are a Grey Warden."

"So we need to drink darkspawn blood? That's it?"

"That is it. Yes."

This time the man did pass out, but he survived.

"Already better than my own Joining, it would seem." She muttered to her husband. He hummed in response.

"From this moment on, Mhairi, you are a Grey Warden."

"I have awaited this moment." She drank, but fell to the ground. Her hands grasped at her throat as if she were choking, blood fell from her mouth and was pain etched on her face. Eliisa inhaled, this was so similar to how Daveth died.

 _Damn, she would've been good for us._

"I am sorry Mhairi. May the Maker watch over you now." Varel's words clung to her as she watched them take the body away.

 _May He will watch over us all._

As Warden-Commander, she had the privilege of not sleeping in the barracks, instead she had her own room. Eliisa was trying to change and, very slowly, sat on the bed. Her side ached, she had forgotten what a broken rib had felt like. She had hoped it was something she wouldn't have had to remember. She felt out of shape and weak. How could she let such a giant weapon hit her, even in the slightest?

Groaning, she grabbed her side and rubbed it, as if it would magically heal it. Anders had already healed her to the best of his ability. She remembered Wynne lecturing everyone about how magic could only do so much, the body still has to recover and heal on its own. It hurt to even lift her arms, she felt pathetic. She killed the Archdemon and now she can't even take off her shirt.

She tried again, successfully pulling one arm through the arm hole and lifting the hem over her shoulder. When she tried lifting the other side, she found it too difficult and let out a loud whine that even Lady would be jealous of. Laughter filled the hall outside her bedroom. It seemed that Oghren and Alistair had been catching up, no doubt Oghren getting drunk in celebration. She inhaled deeply before sitting back up and trying to adjust her shirt so she looked less of a mess. She was ultimately unsuccessful.

Alistair opened the door and didn't bother holding back his snort when he saw her, earning him a glare.

"Would you like some help?" her glare deepened slightly.

"I can," she wiggled "handle this myself." She grunted in pain when she moved a bit too sharply. Alistair raised his brow at her and she sighed in defeat. "Maybe, I could use some help." She blushed and turned her head to the side. Chuckling, Alistair walked over and helped detangle herself from the shirt, and quickly pulled it away from her frame, with far more ease than her own attempts. She sighed again if she can't even take off her own clothes by herself, how was she supposed to deal with the Darkspawn mess laid at her feet? She leaned back onto the bed, rubbing her side, and eyes closed tightly.

"I have to stay." She whispered not bothering to open her eyes to see his response. It didn't matter, she knew he would understand. It didn't make staying any easier, however. The bed shifted with the added weight of Alistair, she turned her head to look at him. She wanted to go back to Denerim. Wanted to recover from her wound in the luxury of her own bed. That was no longer an option, though. She was Warden Commander, Hero of Ferelden, her duty to defeat Darkspawn was now more important than her duty as queen. When Alistair laid beside her she moved to lay her head on his shoulder.

This hadn't been the first time she had been plagued with these thoughts. What if marrying Alistair was a bad idea? Sure, a Cousland and a Theirin make a dangerous pair, but they're both Warden's. Alistair had to practically give up his title as Warden, whereas herself? She had to continue on the path, taking up the mantle of the _leader_ of the Ferelden Warden's, a reminder that her life is no longer her own. She would have to give it all up if the Warden's demand it, no doubt leaving Alistair alone, more often than a friend should.

If she had placed Alistair on the throne alone he could've found someone he could fall in love with. Or maybe her decision to deny Anora the throne was a terrible mistake. She was already queen, she and Alistair would've been a good match. He wouldn't be stuck in this chaos with Eliisa. What if they had stayed Warden's together, leaving Anora the throne as they cleaned up Ferelden and let it heal, allowing the country to forget their names and faces. Her throat closed up, what if the really could never have children, never produce an heir?

"Does it hurt that badly?" she opened her eyes and found her vision blurry. Alistair's thumb wiped a tear that had fallen down her cheek and his other hand found her side, softly rubbing above her wound. Her guilt plagued her, fear and sorrow swam around in her head. She was in pain, she felt her stomach drop and fill her with anxiety. She'd take the pain of her side over the emotions beginning to haunt her, all over again.

"Yes."

"I hate having to ask you to do this," Alistair stood at the gate his guards at his back "It would be…so much more interesting to have you at court." She smirked at him, her guards, seneschal and new Warden's behind her.

"You could always stay." she raised a brow, teasing him.

"Don't tempt me," he laughed "Sadly, I have to deal with the Bannorn. Besides, Eamon would probably have a heart attack. I will return as soon as I am able, I promise." She snorted, "This isn't an easy task but I'm confident you'll be able to take care of it quickly. Now, let me say a quick goodbye, before I change my mind."

She wrapped her arms around his neck when he kissed her forehead, holding him closely. Her stomach felt like the mud on the ground, she didn't want him to leave. She realized how she had become accustomed to her having his shield at her back while fighting. She couldn't even remember what it was like to fight without him.

"I expect letters, full updates." She laughed at him, kissing his cheekbone.

"Count on it."

"Don't die on me, Eliisa."

"If the Archdemon couldn't kill me, whoever is behind this sure can't." she grinned up at him, and he returned it happily.

"That's my girl."


	9. Pen Pal

Alistair was _stressed_. Like the kind of stressed you get when you've got a dragon staring at you and your back is to the mountain wall and you've got nagging nobles yelling at you that their farms have gone to the Black City and _they won't go away_ until you fix it. He laid his head on his desk, banging it ever so softly over and over…

"Alistair." Teagan spoke up "You're going to bruise yourself." Alistair groaned and turned his head to look at his uncle, huffing annoyed. It's only been a few weeks since Eliisa stayed in Amaranthine but he swore his people took advantage of not having the queen's temper around. He missed her.

He felt pathetic, it's only been three weeks. He's been apart from her for this long before. _But this is different._ She was going into battle without him and it was worrying. She was perfectly capable of taking care of herself, of course, but he always felt he was in arms reach if she needed him. Then again, has she ever really needed him? On more than one occasion they had split their group up and she came out perfectly fine.

"How many more for the day?" Alistair croaked out at Teagan, who gave him a sympathetic look "Never mind, I don't want to know. Just send the next one in."

"What do you think you're doing?" Alistair crossed his arms at Eliisa's mabari, who had taken it upon herself to lay down in his bed. Lady looked up and snorted at him before sprawling out further onto the bed. "You're even more intolerable without your mistress here." He attempted to push her further away from his side of the bed. Lady barely acknowledged him.

He sighed, Eliisa's first letter to him had arrived by raven today but he had been so busy with court he hadn't had the time to read it. When he was finally done for the day, he planned on relaxing and reading it, which he could hardly do with Lady taking up so much room. He gave her a final shove before quickly settling into his bed.

"Do you want me to read the letter from Eliisa or not?" Lady looked up at him and huffed. That got her attention, it also made him realize he was talking to a dog. Ignoring his embarrassment he opened the letter.

 _Alistair,_

 _Things have slowly started improving since you left. We've gained some more workers, warriors and crafters. You remember Wade and Herren? The ones who crafted my lovely dragon scale armor? Well, they're here! Exciting isn't it? They said they would resupply the wardens, provided I retrieve all that's needed, of course._

 _There's also a couple Dwarven brother's here. One by the name of Dworkin, who I'm positive is insane. He specializes in explosives._ Explosives _. I've seen them in action, personally. He blew up my courtyard, it took forever to clean it all up. His brother is Voldrik, he's the stonemason here. He's also attempting to rebuild the keep, however it's proving to be difficult. Of course, he asked me to get more material. I need this place running at its best, so I really shouldn't complain._

 _In any case, as I originally figured, the Darkspawn came from underground. More specifically they came from the underground cellars. There's a giant hole in the ground leading to the Deep Roads, no doubt. I'm going to have to take care of that, too._

 _I won't be receiving help from the Orlesian Wardens. The Warden Commander wants to send more, but Celene is still offended from Loghain's…message to her. We need to rectify this, Alistair. We can't have Orlais breathing down our necks while Darkspawn are still ravaging our lands. Fortunately, there is a Warden that is simply missing and not in the "Darkspawn way" of missing. I will be going to Amaranthine City to look for leads, soon._

 _How are you doing? Lady isn't giving you much trouble is she? She can be quite a brat when I'm not around. Fergus told me she pulled out all his clothes and made a bed with them when I visited Starkhaven, and didn't take her. She'll eventually act like a proper war hound again. You two need to bond, she is as much your hound as she is mine, now. You know how to butter people up, it's no different with her._

 _What of Eamon? He's not completely taken over the role of queen, has he? I'm sure he's tried. Keep Teagan close, Alistair, he's good and cares about your well-being. I'm worried you'll forget to eat while I'm not around. I know how you throw yourself into things when you are determined._

 _The side is ok, by the way. I'm a bit sore but after some rest (also let me say now, your bed is far more comfortable than this rock) and proper work outs, I'm doing much better._

 _Before I forget, there was a thief in the keep, from before the Darkspawn attack. Hrm, it took almost four Warden's to lock him up. I've decided to recruit him into the Wardens, we need to add more into the ranks and if could take on four Wardens, might as well give him the chance, yeah?_

 _Oh, his name is Nathaniel Howe._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Eliisa_

 _Eliisa,_

 _Eliisa, are you serious? A Howe? I trust you know what you're doing, but are you sure? After everything his father did? Maker Eliisa, and here I thought it was only Darkspawn I'd have to worry about, now this? Are you certain he won't kill you in your sleep? Be careful._

 _Underground then? So it looks like you'll be making trips to the Deep Roads again? Is there no one you can send in there in your stead?_

 _To answer your questions, Lady is stubborn. She has taken it upon herself to sleep on your side of the bed. She's far bigger than you so I barely have any room to sleep myself. But I do have some…news for you concerning her. I've been told that Ferelden is "running low" on mabari and was approached, or dare I say, Lady was approached to deal with this matter. Since she's considered a Hero of the Blight they want her to give birth to some pups. I won't proceed with the idea unless you give permission, she's your companion after all._

 _No, Eamon has not taken your place as queen, though he does seem to be trying. He's already questioned your…fertility. I reminded him we've been married for only four months and give it time. He asked when you would be back and apparently "soon" wasn't a good enough answer._

 _I'm happy that you're doing better, of course that doesn't mean I'm going to stop worrying about your health and well-being. You get into a lot of trouble, you know that? Do try to avoid death and injury, I'd prefer to not mourn you._

 _Stay Safe,_

 _Alistair_

 _Alistair,_

 _When did you become such a worrier? I am fine! I appreciate your trust but it seems your suspicion was unfounded. Nathaniel is loyal to the Wardens and we've been able to talk about everything that went down with his father…without further incident. It turns out he was just trying to retrieve heirlooms, and I can hardly fault him for that. He was Fergus' friend, but my brother tends to hold grudges far longer and far worse than I do, so I've offered my own friendship instead. It's good to see some of the old Nathaniel back._

 _No, I will not send someone else to deal with the hold in my cellar. I want to make sure it's sealed for good this time. Or at least for a long time where I will be long dead and no longer have to deal with it. One can hope, yes?_

 _Speaking of death, I won't die out here, definitely not in the wilderness and swamps of Amaranthine. Yuck. Have I mentioned how much I hate swamps? They're almost as bad as snow! No promises about injuries, though. Especially, since Oghren and I had a drinking contest and we, according to the other wardens, ended up re-enacting the time he and I took down that pack of werewolves together. He sprained his ankle and I managed to break my nose. I remember nothing._

 _Tell Eamon if he's so worried about me then he can take my place out here and I will come back to court. I'm sorry that you're having to do this on your own, Alistair. You know I never planned on this happening, I'm sorry. Also, promptly tell him_ _to fuck off_ _that my fertility is between me and my husband, and I would greatly appreciate him keeping his questions to himself._

 _Perhaps you could make a suggestion box that's actually a waste bin? We could always use more fuel for our fireplaces._

 _Lady should know better than to be on the bed! Oh, this is my fault. Ever since Duncan recruited me, I've had her sleep with me, even in beds, so I guess I spoiled her. I do miss her terribly. Just push her a bit, if she doesn't move whistle the way I taught you, it should get her to at least move over. Think of it as practice for later in life!_

 _About her birthing some pups, while I'm not exactly thrilled about her being approached about repopulating Ferelden with mabari, it is appropriate. And the pups are so cute. Oh! I just had a wonderful idea! She can give birth to the pups and you'll keep one for yourself! You can't be King of the Dog Lords with a dog yourself, can you?_

 _I ran into Wynne while in Amaranthine, she sends her love and well wishes. It seems there's trouble brewing amongst the Circles, and some are trying to break away from the Chantry, completely. I would keep an eye on that, Alistair, this doesn't sound like something that will just go away._

 _I must finish this letter now, Howe's old vassals have become my own and they are gathering in the common room. I must address their concerns as Arlessa and whatnot. There's a possibility that they are not here peacefully, since the promises Howe made to these people died with him._

 _I'll write when I'm able but this is looking like this may take months to finish._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Eliisa_

 _(There's a drawing of poorly drawn darkspawn stabbing cabbages at the bottom of the page.)_

 _Eliisa,_

 _I'm insulted that you believe I hadn't already told Eamon to mind his own business when it came to such intimate matters between us. He wasn't pleased, but when I inform the council that you won't be coming home for a few months, well, I'm sure his spirits will be raised._

 _I whistled at Lady, like you said, and the dog looked like I hurt her feelings! I felt bad afterward and let her stay in the bed. She's gotten better though, she listens to me now, following me around everywhere like a proud mother. Maker, that embarrassing. The closest thing I have to a mother is my best friend's dog. I'll assume you won't go telling anyone my dark secret. Speaking of mother's, she is, in fact, pregnant. Hopefully you'll be home before the things are born and we can pick out a pup together._

 _I imagine you'll be the strict parent and I'll be the one who's wrapped around their fingers._

 _You don't need explain anything about Lady comforting you. My only regret is that I couldn't comfort you in the beginning like I should have been able to._

 _How did the "hole" exploration go? I assume well because I haven't heard of darkspawn attacks from that specific area anymore. Keep it up, Eliisa, Ferelden wouldn't be the same without you._

 _I'll keep an eye out on the Circle and the area surrounding it. Too bad we can't convince Wynne to be a spy for us. That would be interesting._

 _I believe I remember you saying something along the lines of "fuck this swamp," while we were on our way to Lothering. That was a fun few days, mosquitos biting us everywhere, sweating up a storm despite it being autumn, us both completely miserable, I believe I put my foot in my mouth once or twice even. How I miss our adventures. Fighting darkspawn, saving damsels, collecting herbs for healing because I decided to step in a bear trap (I blame Zevran), big heroes. Mostly you, though._

 _Do you ever miss it? Not the fighting or traveling, but the simplicity? You're the only one who reads these right? I'd hate someone to happenstance on their King whining about how he'd rather stab something than do his job. Since Zevran left for Antiva I haven't had worry about him reading over my shoulders but there's still that niggling worry._

 _It's good to know that you'll be dealing with nobles, also. The price of being a big hero it would seem. Stay safe Eliisa, try not to break your nose further._

 _Alistair_

 _P.S. You joking about your death and injuries is what makes me worry like I do. Need I remind you of when the dragon decided it wanted to play "catch" with your body?_

Alistair's stomach was in a knots. Eliisa hadn't written in almost two and a half months. He tried not to show how upset he was when he was around his people and court but this…this was _hard._ Not being the shield at her back was one thing, but not communicating? It wasn't like her. Anyone else he'd let it go, but this was Eliisa, she sent letters when they were apart during the Blight.

Lady could sense his worry and would cuddle up to him at night. He had given up on pushing her out of the bed, now he was grateful for it. He figured that she missed Eliisa as much as he did.

When he was asked about the queen, he always made up some story of how she was fine. Because of course she was fine. She's the queen, the Hero of Ferelden, his best friend. He swallowed. She had to be fine, she had to. They would've sent something to tell him if she…if she died.

"What kind of trouble do you think our queen has gotten herself into?" He murmured to Lady who let out a soft whine "Agreed." He sighed, his heart twisting and turning like he did when the nightmares of Ostagar caught up to him again. Lady whined loudly when a bird starting cawing outside his window and Alistair shuffled quickly towards it, to shoo the blighted thing away. He nearly strangled the poor thing when he saw a small scroll attached to its talon.

 _A,_

 _I'm so sorry I haven't written in over two months. It's been trying. I'll write a real letter soon._

 _E_

Alistair's eyes began to blur with relieved tears.

 _Thank the bloody Maker_

 _Alistair,_

 _Firstly, I want to properly apologize for my lack of communication. I won't offer excuses but between having my hair burned off by flaming Sylvan's and another Deep Roads expedition, I didn't have time to write. I am sorry my King._

 _We picked up two new wardens, a Legion of the Dead member, and a Dalish First. The former being quite cheery (for a dead person) and the latter…not so much. Either way, I have my new recruits._

 _When I returned to the Keep, the commoners were storming my gates. Bloody fantastic, it took all my resolve to not shout and calm everyone down peacefully. They felt I wasn't protecting them properly! I swear court is less stressful than this!_

 _The Keep is coming along nicely and my soldiers are being trained and well-armed._

 _How is Lady? How are you? I'm sure I worried you both into fits. I know I would be worried sick about you if our roles had been reversed._

 _I've sent a report to Avernus about what transpired but I feel I should inform you, also. Both as a Grey Warden and as my friend._

 _While in the Wending Wood, I encountered another talking Darkspawn. However, this one was different, it seemed…intelligent. He…it… held me captive…Alistair, I think it did experiments on me. I managed to escape safely, but…Maker I'm not sure I can deal with this._

 _I'm exhausted, I wrote to you as soon as I could, but I've almost fallen asleep twice writing this thing. You'll have to forgive me for such a short letter after such a long absence._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Eliisa_

 _(Attached is a full report of what transpired in the Wending Wood and the peasant mob attempt to attack the Keep)_

 _Eliisa,_

 _Don't apologize! I thought…it doesn't matter, thank the Maker you're alive. Andraste's Pyre ….Eliisa if you need anything, I will do everything in my power to do it for you. Are you alright? I am so sorry, I can't even begin to fathom what you went through. I know you will not return home until you feel the job is done, but Maker's Blood. I can be there in three days if you need me._

 _I heard about the mob in the Keep, do you need me to send people? Food? Whatever you need, I can do it._

 _Lady is fine, she was very worried about you. She keep sniffing your letter and whining up at me. She going to "pop" any day now. I suspect that means you won't be here for the birth of the pups? It's alright, I'll make sure the puppy sleeps on your side of the bed._

 _Fergus came by recently. Maker I had no idea what to say to him about your lack of letters. I told him you were fine, though. I'm not sure he believed me, but he said nothing on it. He mentioned that he would donate a hound or two to the wardens and to my army._

 _I miss you, Eliisa. Get some rest, please._

 _Alistair_

 _Al,_

 _Thank you. Really, thank you. Don't trouble yourself coming up to the Keep. I will be leaving for the city, soon. There was some information on the missing warden. I will write to you then._

 _Dearly,_

 _Eliisa_

 _PS I miss you too_

Alistair paced around the room, a small mabari pup nipping at his heels playfully every time he passed it. Eliisa hadn't been writing, _again_. At least this time he knew where she was. After her trip the City she went to the Black Marsh, which didn't ease his anxiety at all. The Veil is supposed to be thin there.

He sighed and picked up his mabari. When the kennel master let him near the pups, this one was the first to come up to Alistair. It was the runt, and looked cutely pathetic. The kennel master stated that the runts usually never make it, because of its size they usually get bullied away from the mother, causing them to become sickly. Of course, he chose the runt, it felt appropriate.

"'Lis will fall head-over-heels for you." He murmured and it bit his nose gently in response. "What do you say Barkspawn? Why don't we go down the garden for a walk?" the pup cocked its head to the side before Alistair put him down.

 _A,_

 _Have I mentioned I hate the Fade?_

 _E_

 _E,_

 _You have, what's this about? It's been a while._

 _A_

 _A,_

 _I know, forgive me. Got sent to the Fade (again). Brought back a spirit that's possessing a dead warden. It's walking around and rotting. This will be fun to talk to the wife._

 _E_

 _E,_

 _I'm glad you made it out in one piece (I hope). Write me a full report of everything when you can._

 _A_

 _PS I named the pup Barkspawn_

 _Alistair,_

 _This will be a short letter, but I promise I will make it up to you. It seems the Darkspawn are marching towards the city and I must take care of it. At least there's no Archdemon this time._

 _The arling is in good condition, the people are loyal and all attempts at assassination and whatnot have been taken care of. The Vigil will stand ready, I've made the proper renovations and my soldiers wear the best armor Wade could make. Don't tell Sten but he also made me a beautiful new sword out of dragon bone, named Vigilance. Fitting, right?_

 _I march for the city. I feel like this will come to a close soon._

 _Eliisa_

 _PS Please tell me you're joking about the name._

 _A,_

 _City saved, you'll be getting the bill for that soon. Keep took damage but is still standing mostly. Everyone survived but Varel._

 _Moving on to the real threat. I don't know how long I will be this time_

 _E_

 _Eliisa,_

 _Hurry home. These nobles seem far less intimidated by me than you. Your last letter was vague and ominous, but I know you'll be fine. I've already got word of the destruction of the keep and how you saved Amaranthine, try not to have too much fun out there._

 _Love,_

 _Alistair_

 _Alistair,_

 _I was packing up to return home when a messenger from Orzammar came with an "urgent message from Jerrik Dace" I have to take care of this now. I'm sorry._

 _I'm fine, no major injuries and the threat has been taken care of. I don't trust everything to a letter so I will explain everything when I come home. I will be stopping to speak to Avernus and explain everything that happened recently…I have information that will help his research._

 _Love,_

 _Eliisa_

Barkspawn 'woofed' up at Lady while she slept in Eliisa's spot. Alistair gently placed his puppy in the warmth of his mother. Alistair smiled before reading over the many letters Eliisa had sent over the past four months. Now she's headed to Orzammar? She'll probably be gone at least two more months.

Alistair collapsed on the bed, head first into the pillow, and groaned. He missed her. Badly. He felt ridiculous. Foolish, even, for missing her as badly as he did. He survived 20 years without her, he can survive six months. Then again those 20 years, he didn't actually know her. He groaned again. His sulking wasn't getting him anywhere and it certainly wasn't going to help him sleep.

Laying on his bed, he stared at the ceiling. Whispers had started up in the court about her leaving him behind. He knew she wouldn't do that to him, but it still caused a prick in his heart.

 _Because what if she is avoiding me?_

He's not sure he could handle that rejection. Married eight months and she already wants out? He knew it was hopeless to believe that she would care for him the way he cares for her but he didn't think she would…leave him. Yet the thoughts still plagued him and kept him from sleeping.

Alistair sighed and closed his eyes tightly.

 _Great, that's exactly what you needed swimming around in your head, now._

Alistair was right when he figured it would be another two months at least. The Grey Wardens have been helping rebuild the parts of Amaranthine that been destroyed, and The Keep's repairs were happening far more quickly than originally anticipated.

The Bannorn wasn't bothering him today, Eamon seemed to keep to himself, Teagan made sure he had a good meal and Barkspawn seemed to be taking his lessons on well. He shouldn't be in such a sour mood.

But he couldn't help it. He felt lonely, he even missed Zevran's incessant teasing. It made him feel juvenile, like he was back at the stables and wanted someone to play with him. He sighed, relaxing further into the bath, doing his best not to fall asleep in the water. Again.

"Rough day?"

He grunted in response, Eliisa always seemed to catch on when something was wrong.

 _Wait..._

Alistair's eyes shot open to see her sitting on the chest in front of his, their, bed. She would looked amused if she didn't look so damn tired. He stood up hurriedly causing her to widen her eyes and her cheeks to flush, before hiding her giggles behind her head.

"I know it's been awhile-" Alistair rushed over to her, not before wrapping a towel around his waist, and pulled her into a crushing hug.

"Maker, you have no idea how much I've missed you." He murmured into her messy, and now short hair. He grinned when she squeezed him back just as tightly.

"I missed you, too, Alistair." His heart nearly burst with emotion and he pressed his lips against her forehead. How he missed this woman. This strong, amazing woman. He nuzzled her face against his own, ignoring the way her armor jabbed into his skin. He was just happy to have her back with him.

He swallowed when she looked up at him with her tired, but relaxed eyes. The eyes that he seemed to so easily-

"I'm home," She whispered kissing the corner of his mouth "and I believe I need a bath."

Alistair snorted, kissing her forehead again.

"I'll call for more-"

"Don't bother," she cut him off "just help me out of this armor." He grinned up at her when she giggled at how quickly he attended to her armor. He missed that sound. The sound of his best friend's laughter. He missed his sister-in-arm's dry wit. He longed for his wife's embrace and kiss.

 _Maker_ _save this fool_

Alistair helped her into the bathtub before moving to put his clothes on. He sighed softly, he knew he couldn't deny it anymore.

He had completely fallen for her.


	10. Wife (NSFW)

Eliisa couldn't move. She couldn't speak or scream or cry. She stared in horror as the Architect looked at her curiously. She felt her body shaking, she was going to die here. Or worse, she was going to stay here forever, for this _thing's_ experiments. She closed her eyes tightly before a pinch at her nose caused her to open them quickly.

Eliisa gasped.

She wasn't in that mine. She was in her bed, in her bedroom, in her castle, and apparently with her husband's puppy on top of her, nipping at her nose.

 _That's right, I returned last night._

Eliisa reached over to Alistair's spot, patting the bed where his body should've been. She groaned when she didn't find him beside her and placed her hands on the new puppy, Barkspawn.

"You had to have the cheesiest master didn't you? Naming you Barkspawn." she whispered and rubbed the young mabari's ears. Alistair shouldn't be far, she reasoned, pups usually don't stray from their masters. Barkpawn's ears perked up when they both heard the footsteps walking into the bedroom from the washroom. He jumped from her stomach, winding her slightly, and bounded over to his master.

"Hey now, I thought I told you to let her sleep." Alistair chided and Barkspawn only barked in response. Eliisa sat up to the best of her ability, and Maker was she sore. "No need to get up Eliisa," he walked over to the bed and sat next to her on the edge. "I can take care of things, you deserve a few days off." Eliisa snorted.

"That's hardly queenly behavior. Besides, I don't see you taking a day off."

"You also didn't see me battle Darkspawn and Maker knows what else for six months." She sighed sharply through her nose.

"Alistair…"

"Don't 'Alistair' me. I can see how exhausted you are." he sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "Just…humor me?" he took her hand in his own, rubbing her knuckles with his thumb. She sighed again and massaged her temples.

"You won't tie me to the bed will you?" she asked after a few moments of silence. She raised her brow and couldn't hide her smile when Alistair's eyes widened and his freckled cheeks darkened. "Something on your mind?"

"N-no!" she barked out a laugh at him "Please stop laughing, 'Lis." He groaned out and ran a hand over his face.

"'m sorry, Alistair." she leaned over and kissed his cheek. She breathed in his scent, her throat closing up when it hit her how badly she missed his presence. She had been all smiles and plain exhaustion the previous night, now though? After sleeping, and nightmares, and him practically begging her to take it easy it really hit her how much she missed being safe and home. She laid her forehead on his shoulder and closed her eyes, threading their fingers together.

"What's wrong?" she leaned into him when he wrapped his arm around her middle.

"I'm just…" she trailed off. She wasn't sure what she could say, at least what she could say in the short time he had before he was whisked away by his duties. She let out a shaky breath and relaxed when he moved the hand from her waist and started rubbing her back. "I'm just relieved I'm back." She felt Alistair bark a chuckle.

"That makes two of us, I'm not sure how I survived this long without you...err, here. Without you here." He cleared his throat and she looked up at him curiously.

"Are _you_ alright?

"Fine." he gave her a nervous smile before standing up "I'll have Deirdre bring you breakfast." He took her hand and kissed her knuckles before swiftly leaving with Barkspawn closely trailing behind.

She barely had the time to think, let alone say, that she wasn't ready to be left alone just yet.

She hated admitting she was wrong.

Alistair had told her she could take as much time as she wanted off. Maker, he told her that she never had to leave the bed again if she desired to. However, she had already spent two days ignoring her duties and sleeping, thus she decided she would return to court fully today. She didn't actually tell anyone she would be coming to breakfast (or that she was back in the capital) hence the awkward meal. She should've listen to Alistair and stayed in bed another day.

Eliisa's nostrils flared as she looked across the breakfast table to Eamon, Teagan and Bann Ena with her daughter, Mairead. Apparently, Alistair wasn't exaggerating when he said that people thought she ran away and were throwing daughters at him. At least, poor Mairead looked like she didn't want to be there in the slightest. Bann Ena seemed to take her queen's presence as a challenge or an inconvenience, Eliisa couldn't decide which.

She cleared her throat and motioned for a servant to fill her glass up. She was doing her best to not let her temper get the best of her during her first interaction with anyone besides Alistair or Deirdre. It was difficult, though. It's not as if she blamed people for believing she had left, but actually seeing it? To think that she was already trying to be replaced was frustrating.

"Queen Eliisa," she raised her gaze to Teagan, who looked sympathetic "I wasn't aware you had come back from your Warden business." Mairead looked up with wide eyes, she couldn't have been older than 16.

"Ah yes," Eliisa took a long sip of her water "I returned two nights ago." Eamon sputtered a bit "However, His Majesty and I agreed that I should rest for a few days before fully retuning to court." She smiled sweetly at her company and turned her head to Alistair, who swiftly took her hand in his own and kissed her knuckles.

"Well, you did look completely exhausted." He smiled against her hand before taking it from his face, but not releasing it "I don't believe anyone would argue your dedication to keeping our country and its people safe." Teagan smiled gently and Bann Ena still had that same look on her face while her daughter looked at her in amazement. Eamon just looked annoyed.

 _Oh, does he not appreciate that Alistair and I have been keeping my arrival from him?_

"Well, I believe I can speak for all of us when I say how happy I am that you have returned safely." Teagan said as the servants brought food in. She smiled at him gratefully before looking at her plate as it was filled with food. Yes, it was certainly good to be back in court.

Eliisa shot up, gasping for breath. She covered her mouth to smother the sob rising in her throat.

 _Dammit_ she sniffed when she felt Alistair shift beside her.

"'Liisa?" she turned her head to the sound of his sleepy voice "What happened?" she laid back down and turned towards him. She took a deep breath and tried searching for his face in darkness. She felt her head pounding, telling her to just _tell him_ about the nightmares.

"I dreamt of being in that mine." She murmured closing her eyes. She didn't resist when he pulled her in to his chest.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I…" she wrapped her arms around him and bit her lip. She wasn't completely sure if she did. Remembering it all…it was hard. It left her gasping for air, much like her memories of escaping Highever did. She knew though, she knew that if she kept it all in, it wouldn't end well. "I need to."

Alistair shifted again, turning to light the candle on his nightstand. The light was enough to illuminate the small area around them, but not enough for much else. The fire light danced on his skin and in his hair, making it look far redder than usual. Usually, she appreciated his drowsy state. He looked unkempt and messy, with half open eyes and disarrayed hair. It was cute, and she would usually tease and tell him as much. He turned back around and wrapped his arms back around her.

"Tell me." He ran his fingers through her short locks. She was still angry that the damn tree had gotten the better of her and set her hair on fire. It was far shorter when it happened, nothing short of a pixie cut. Now, it was just above her shoulders, and it gave Deirdre the fits.

"I told you…I told you that I think it…that the Architect did experiments on me. I keep thinking, dreaming about it. I keep…" she sucked in and he ran his fingernails up and down her back "I dream I keep waking up, strapped to that damn table." She buried her face into his chest, his chest hair tickling her nose with every breath. "And I can't move and I can't speak." Her voice cracks and his lips are her forehead. "Sometimes I wake up and I'm…I'm one of those things…it… the Architect somehow makes me a Broodmother and I can't…" she sobbed out, her throat was in pain from holding back her cries. Not knowing what actually happened made the nightmares worse, she thinks. She could ward off the memories of Highever, but this? Her mind made up something new every night.

Alistair softly shushes her and holds her closer. He doesn't say a word as she cries, only rubs her back as she shook. Even now, it feels like she was holding back. How appropriate would it be to find the queen wailing and sobbing in her chambers? How quickly would word spread that she was haunted by the events of the past two years of her life? She cursed her younger self who wanted adventure and who craved more than what she was given. What she wanted was mother holding her close and singing her songs to help her fall back sleep.

And she could never have that again. She'd never hear mother singing to her again. She'd never hear father tell her stories of heroes and knights. She'd never have Oriana bring her hot drinks on the dreadfully cold and wet nights. Never have little Oren-

"Hey, hey." Alistair rocked her as her cries grew louder. "You're alright. You're here, you're home." He whispered into her hair. And how she wished that would have helped. Wished that his words could heal her like he hoped. But they didn't and she practically hated herself for it. Alistair was her family. He had been with her almost every day since Ostagar, fighting beside her, wiping her tears, and taking care of her, just as she did for him.

"It's not fair." She keened.

"I know" his voice was hoarse "I know, it's not."

"I kept that…that thing alive." She bit out angrily "Said it had a way to end Blights, end this Maker damned curse. What was I thinking? Why? I just…"

"Don't doubt yourself, Eliisa." He sniffed…was he crying? Eliisa looked up, he _was_. "I never have, and look at how far we've come because of you." She had to look away from his gaze. He always held her in such high regard and look at her, moaning like a child because of dreams? Because of a decision she was so sure of months ago? Pathetic. She wrapped her arms around his middle and buried her face in his chest.

"I don't know what I would do without you, Alistair." The tears weren't going to stop, and she frankly didn't care. She wanted to cry. Really she wanted to scream and throw a tantrum. She couldn't, of course, but she wanted to. She closed her eyes when his lips touched her forehead.

"I'll always be here, Eliisa."

She cried herself to sleep.

When Eliisa woke up, it was before first light, and far earlier than usual. Yawning she lifted her head from the pillow and looked at her husband. He was sleeping soundly, quietly snoring with his hair all-a-mess. She smiled softly and kissed his cheek before rising out of their bed. She needed a bath. Her face felt dry from tears and the sweat clung to her skin, leaving it damp and clammy.

She walked to the tub, not bothering to call for someone to fill it for her. She filled it slowly, letting it heat up and steam to fill the room. She added lavender and vanilla perfumes and oils to the water before she stripped herself bare.

Eliisa moaned appreciatively when she sunk into the hot water. The scents were working to help relax her stiff neck and joints. Maker this felt _wonderful_. She couldn't remember the last time she took such a bath. Surely long before she even left for Amaranthine.

She didn't bother opening her eyes when she heard soft paws scrambling on the ground and run up to her. She smiled softly when Barkspawn started licking her fingers.

"Hello, you." she picked him up "I don't supposed you're here to join me? Your mother never did like baths, but perhaps…" the pup wagged its little nub excitedly and cocked his head to the side. She grinned "Oh, you're just a sweetheart." She nuzzled the young hounds face.

Before she could let the pup into the water, though, it squirmed trying to get away from her. She giggled and let him run away back into the bedroom, no doubt to try and rouse his master. Eliisa wondered if her own children would be as rowdy in the morning. Little princesses and princes running around with their father's smile and her hair. She smiled and closed her eyes, losing herself in the warming thoughts of small feet running on the floor.

"Alright, alright. I'm coming." Eliisa heard grumbling and the scratching of puppy paws on the floor. When Barkspawn returned to the washroom, he yipped up at her. She smiled down at the pup.

"I take back what I said about you being a sweetheart." She shooed him off and sat up straight

"What are you-oh…" Eliisa raised her brow at Alistair "Eliisa, you're bathing. O-of course you are." He rubbed the back of his neck, pink tinging his cheeks.

"I am." She laughed "It seems your hound was tattling on me for trying to give him a bath." The pup barked up at Alistair.

"Well, of course, what self-respecting warhound smells like flowers?" she half glared at his teasing.

"It's better than sweat and mud, I'd say." She huffed and watched as Lady picked Barkspawn by the scruff of his neck and walk them back to their pillows. Her smile grew at her hound's apparent motherly behavior. She looked back at Alistair and then she realized that Alistair had been speaking.

"Hm, sorry?" she threw him a guilty look when he huffed at her

"I asked what are you doing up so early, you usually sleep past first light."

"I was just up, I suppose." Eliisa shrugged.

"'Just up' she says, but I've nearly had my head bitten off for trying to rouse you before."

"Never" she laughed at his unconvinced face "Okay, okay, maybe once or twice. I apologized later didn't I? I believe I gave you a nice little cake, too."

"Yes, I remember, the cake. Lady gave me the most pathetic look and ended up with half of it." Eliisa snorted and relaxed again. "I'll uh-" His cheeks darkened, "I'll leave you to your bath."

"Actually, I was just getting out." She lied and stood up, moving to drain the contents of the tub. She watched Alistair eyes flicker quickly over her body before turning to reach for a towel. She stifled a giggle as she walked over to him "You're blushing."

"I-I am n-, I mean y-you're…" he sputtered and she snorted before taking the towel.

"Naked?"

" _Yes_ , that."

"You've seen me naked before, Alistair." He grunted "In fact you've done-

"' _Liisa_ " she stood on her toes and kissed his nose.

"Forgive me, you are adorable when you blush." Groaned and gave her an exasperated look. She walked into their bedroom, drying herself as she walked, and looked to the hounds snoring in the corner. She smiled, thoughts of a family and small feet returning to her, sparking something deep in her chest. "Alistair?" she called to him, turning to see his figure appear in the doorway.

"Yeees?"

"I want a child." His silence caused her gut to do flips. Had she offended him? Embarrassed him? Maybe he wasn't on the same page as her. There is, after all, a difference between wanting a child and being told you're required to have one.

She turned and saw him walk up to her, the blush from earlier gone and something different in his eyes. Something far softer, a softness that she hadn't seen since…since before she knew about his parentage.

"I do, too." he whispered and held out his hand for her. She gingerly placed her own hand in his, "You know that it won't be…"

"I know." She cut him off as he led her towards the bed. "Later." That conversation will be for another time, but not now. He sat at the foot of the bed, pulling her towards him, into his lap so she was straddling him. His hands caressing her sides and her small ones bracing herself on his shoulders.

"Eliisa, I-" he whispered, worry etching into his features. She brought her hand to his face and rubbed his bottom lip with her thumb. Smiling when he closed his eyes and leaned into her hand, sighing slowly.

"Later." She repeated and tilted his face up and kissed him. She didn't want to talk about what may or may not happen. She didn't want to think about that it wasn't going to be as easy as an early morning stolen moment. She didn't want to think at all.

Alistair's arm wrapped around the small of her back and brought her flush against him. His other hand ran up her body, cupping her breast, gently pinching the nipple between his index and middle finger. Eliisa sighed appreciatively, placing lazy kisses on his jaw.

Maker she missed his hands on her, and she was no longer afraid to admit it. All those months alone in her room at Vigil's Keep, on the hard stone floor of the Deep Roads, and the muddy and dank ground in the Blackmarsh, she missed his warmth. His shy, uncertain 'we can stop if you don't want this' before he completely ravished her. She pressed her weight into him, and he, taking the hint, laid down on his back.

"Why is it that you always seem to be the one far overdressed in these situations?" She nipped down on his neck gently.

"Didn't we establish a 'no biting' rule?" he teased and she gently sucked where she bit him.

" _You_ tried, but then I said that it applies to both of us and I believe you pouted in response." He gave her a short chuckle before flipping their positions.

"You gave me a lose/lose situation. I chose the lesser of two evils." His tongue graced her throat and her hips rose to meet his own. Oh, how she delighted in how his hips relaxed into her own, the gentle roll of his hips causing his clothed erection rub against her core. She tilted her head back and moaned when he bit down on her neck. He rolled against her again and she was already so close, her fingers never doing him justice.

"Do you really want me to stop biting you?" she ground up her hips again.

"No." he stated huskily and seized her lips, sucking on her bottom lip. Her breath caught in her throat and she sputtered against his rolling hips. Maker, she missed his warmth.

"Take off your pants." She ordered breathlessly and felt his chest shake against her own when he chuckled.

"As my queen commands." she bit her lip and watch him unlace. He was so handsome, she thanked the Maker for that. Eliisa grinned deviously.

Maybe she was a bit vain in thanking the Maker he was as handsome as he was, but she could hardly care when he crawled back over her body. What she was thankful for, most of all, was that the awkward stage of this was over. Not that she didn't appreciate the sweetness of their wedding night, but this was far less stressful.

She never knew that "just sex" could be so fulfilling.

Light filtered into the room as Alistair wrapped her legs around his hips and slowly entered her.

" _Maker_."She sighed out, closing her eyes. She had been needing this contact, his contact, for months now. She originally thought when she came back to court she would be less stressed, but with Eamon berating her, Alistair insisting he could handle the nobles on his own, and all these women and daughters being thrown at _her_ husband, she wasn't sure if the stress was worse here or with the Darkspawn.

"Eliisa?" his worried voice caught her attention. "Are you ok? Did I hurt you?" she smiled at him. He was so sweet he could make her teeth rot.

"I'm fine." She whispered and pulled him into a kiss "Better than fine, actually." She thrusted up and he let out a shaky laugh. She kissed him fervently and unrelenting, spurred on by his groans. Smirking, she slid her legs down his hips, over his toned backside and tangled her legs with his, effectively keeping him place. She would never tell Oghren she actually listened to his sex advice.

Eliisa broke the kiss, enjoying his dazed look, and kissed across his jaw and neck. She found the perfect spot and scraped her teeth against it, attaching her lips greedily to the spot, afterwards. When he gasped out her name it only spurred her ministrations more. She realized in the short months they had been intimate that his pleasure was very much something that turned her on. For this strong, powerful man to be left in such a state and because of her? It was enthralling.

Her orgasm came in waves, ones she gladly rode against him. She didn't let herself quiet down her voice. Let the whole damn castle hear for all she cared, let Bann Ena know that her presence here was unwanted. Her unrestrained cries caused a flush to spread across his cheeks and neck. Her devious stare changing into a soft smile as he brought his face to hers, nuzzling their noses together.

"'Lis…" he whispered and she looked at him quizzically.

"Al." she whispered back, her eyes glazing over when she saw his eyebrows furrow together. She took to his lips, kissing him roughly. She knew he tried to hold back his own sounds of pleasure, finding too embarrassing. Andraste's pyre though, she was glad when he didn't. The way his breath hitched as his thrusts became sporadic and had no rhythm. She kissed him again when he relaxed against her and untangled their legs.

She immediately missed the heat of his sweaty body against her own when he rolled off of her and to the side. They lay there in silence, catching their breaths, stuck in the haze of pleasure and sex. She barely noticed when they slipped their hands together, she wasn't even sure if she was the one to grab his hand or he hers. She didn't care, and broad smile on her spread across her face. She didn't care if it was bad luck to already speak of the subject, nor did she care about the impossible odds against them.

"What do you think?"

"Hm?"

"Girl or boy?" his laughter filling the room was the answer she wanted.

Eliisa had quickly dressed after her morning rendezvous with Alistair. Deirdre had come to help (lecture) her with her hair and the king bathed and dressed. Today they were to sit in court, and listen to his people's grievances. This was her first time since she came back so she had to make an impression.

She sighed and slipped into the layered cotton voile navy blue gown with ease. The gold embroidered vines and flowers decorated her tempest sleeves, her V-neck collar and wrapped around her torso and hips loosely. Deirdre weaved Eliisa's wavy hair into large ringlets and placed her crown on her head.

Alistair re-entered the room attempting to straighten the crown on his head. Eliisa laughed and nodded at Deirdre, who left with a small smirk on her face. Eliisa walked over and adjusted his crown.

"How ever did you manage to get this thing straight without me here to do it for you?" she teased.

"Oh, it went on crooked most of the time." He grinned at her widely. "Eamon was wholly embarrassed. I supposed I should have been, too. 'King Alistair, can't even wear his crown properly!'" she giggled

"Oh posh, all I ever heard on my travels is how much the people love you." She giggled again at his embarrassed cough.

"Wish I could say the same for the nobles."

"Well that's because you're pushing for idealistic changes, and it's working." She wrapped her arm around his and they walked out of their room and towards the court room. "Besides, Fergus is on your side. Remember, the Cousland's have stood with the Theirin's since King Calenhad and that's not changing anytime soon."

"As I recall that didn't happen peacefully."

"No, but-"

"And didn't the Cousland's work with the warden's during the rebellion against Arland."

"Alistair," she laughed "I'm trying to be supportive." He grinned at her and she shook her head. The two of them made their way to the court room, in a comfortable silence.

"Why do I feel like I'm back at Ostagar?" Alistair spoke to the large doors as they waited for Teagan to inform them that the people were ready.

"Because we're about to enter a losing battle? The Bannorn is never satisfied." She huffed

"I'm…glad, to have you Eliisa." She watched his throat bob as his swallowed "I don't think I would've made it this far without you."

"Oh, Eamon would've been plenty helpful."

"No, I mean before this king business." She raised her brow at him "In the Blight, as wardens." He placed his hand over hers "I would have never gotten this far. Ferelden wouldn't have gotten this far, without you. I just wanted you to know that I'm glad that you're you and not some…some other warden." Eliisa laughed "Maker that sounded better in my head."

"Thank you, Alistair," she grinned sincerely before quickly covering it up when Teagan approached them.

"They're ready for you, Your Majesties." He tipped his head. Eliisa looked back up to Alistair who gave her a nervous grin. She took a deep breath before Alistair nodded to the guards.

The doors opened and the sounds of their people grew silent as the King and Queen of Ferelden walked arm-in-arm to their thrones.


End file.
